Rocking/cuddling 8month old to sleep

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I feel like I'm on here all day everyday but I'm desperate!

I have tried controlled crying and gradual retreat with my DS with controlled crying he does eventually fall asleep but gets hysterical first which is stressful for both of us, gradual retreat he takes up to 2 hours to eventually fall asleep again screaming. Now I'm wondering is it wrong to cuddle him to sleep for his naps? DH works long shifts and is often not home so I'm doing this on my own so my child screaming at nap and bed time is just pushing me to the edge. I just want him to be happy and rested!
Can some one share an experience or advice please I haven't slept in months!

Hi I have six children and one of mine needed cuddled to sleep all the time, it was a bit of a pest at times but my thinking was its not harming anyone and he loved it, I know it doesn't seem like it now but they do grow out of it and I have a very cuddly ten year old son now! Don't stress just enjoy the cuddles

Thank you for replying! It's nice knowing that someone else has gone through the same thing!

I have always fed 9mo DS to sleep. I used to rock and feed but he grew out of it. In fact, he used to only sleep in my arms but he grew out of that too.
I stressed about it but realised that we both got more rest just doing what worked. I'm sure my DS will eventually grow out of feeding to sleep, just as your DS will stop needing rocked to sleep. I never thought he would nap out of my arms, but he did when he was ready.
It was changing my attitude to the situation that removed the stress, rather than actively doing something IYSWIM.

He is only 8 months! If cuddling make your life easier, do it!

My DD requires feeding on breast every single time, so cuddling sounds a lot easier!

I'm sure people would advise against it but I feed and pat my dd to sleep at 14 months - its comforting and relaxing for her and it saves a lot of tears (hers and mine!)

I worried about all of this with ds1 and tried all sorts at various points but essentially kept on cuddling and feeding him to sleep until he started falling asleep without the feeding at about 18mo then when he went into a bed at about 2 he didn't need cuddling to sleep, just a kiss and cuddle goodnight and left to it. He did this of his own accord with no strategies or effort and crucially, no stress for anyone.

With ds2 now, I'm just enjoying the cuddles and feeding in the knowledge that we'll hopefully move on naturally when the time comes and that looking back, it'll all be over in the blink of an eye.

Thank you for all the replies! I cuddled my precious DS to sleep with peace in my heart that he will grow out of it and for the first time since February bedtime was wonderful not stressful at all ! ??

I still feed my 2 yo to sleep if he's feeling under the weather or over tired. The rest of the time he goes to sleep happily by himself.

They're not this little for long and I doubt we'll ever regret any time spent cuddling. :)

My daughter's first word was cuggle (cuddle). At 3.5years old she still has a cuddle to sleep and is the most gorgeous cuddly little girl. I fought if for so long as people told me I was getting into bad habits but in the end just gave in as it was easier for us all. Here's our story if you're interested. I had to find my own path to improve my daughters sleep - but we got their in the end and she's a brilliant sleeper now, nodding off within a couple of mins. Good luck! mydaughterwontsleep.com/melissa/

Lovely to hear that I'm not only one! But my DD is only 5 months old so I wonder when those that say their DC grew out of it, did so, I.e. What ages roughly?
Also OP how many naps a day does your LO have? I'm on 4 a day so that means feet up for 40 mins to hour or so 4 times a day!

I have a 10 month old who is cuddled to sleep for both her daytime naps - its quick (5/10 mins versus at least 30 if she is left to self settle) and hassle free (no tears, or me constantly having to shush or pat or do something). Both of us are much happier and it feels like the day goes smoothly and is less stressful.
At night she gets a bedtime feed and if she doesn't fall asleep on the boob then I will place her down to go to sleep herself. We have more time in the evenings so I don't mind if it takes 30/40/50 mins for her to settle down. If I feel she's overtired or had a bad day or its late then I'll go for the easier cuddle option.
There is no law that says children have to self settle - mine really fights sleep and rather than create stressful associations with the going to sleep process I hope that in the long run this will be better.

Chocoholism, don't stop cuddling :) that's where we went wrong which made our sleep a nightmare!

I can't tell you when they grow out of it but with regards to naps, at 5/6 months we has 3 naps 1hour in the morning 2 hours after lunch and half An hour late afternoon now we only have 2 naps he dropped the late afternoon one :)

Hi sosotired, How do you know when they are ready to drop a nap? (Sorry for hijacking thread! :) )

Choc - for us it just happened naturally. She wasn't as tired after lunch so would be awake a bit longer to say 1.30/2ish and she stays asleep for longer. Before a nap would be about an hour but they became more like 1.5-2, sometimes even 2.5 hours, so there wouldn't be time to squeeze another nap in. But I think she was late to drop hers as it's only really been since 9 months, before then we had 3 naps of about an hour each...

He didn't give me any " tired signs" and 9 times out of 10 he just didn't fall asleep not even on a nice long walk we are generally awake for 3.5h now which is something he has done all by himself, I follow his lead I never force him into anything!