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Sleep

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Original poster

Waking every hour - 4mth Old

18 replies

Poshers · 30/03/2014 09:45

Ok so 4 month old wakes every hour past 10pm dream feed. I settle him, put him back in his cot & all is fine until 40mins to an hour later when we have screaming.

Now.... I check nappy, hunger, temp etc .... And all fine. He ONLY stops when I pick him up.

Please tell me what I should do in this situ. He has gone before in the night feeding every 5hrs.

I end up giving in & he gets in with me & nuzzles on my boob (but not really feeding) he is formula fed. I am also single with no night time support.

Tips please!!

OP posts:

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stinkypants · 30/03/2014 16:15

If you are sure there is nothing really wrong I would suggest it is a new habit. They can develop very quickly and it sounds like he is getting a good deal! If you are determined to change it, I think it will involve some controlled crying or similar technique of gradual withdrawal. Not easy at all but so worthwhile when you get your sleep back.

josephine1986 · 30/03/2014 19:10

Look up 4month sleep regression? I think what you describe is very common x

babybouncer · 30/03/2014 20:51

That sounds just like what my DD used to do. Have you tried cosleeping? At least you'll get some sleep. I'm not sure sleep training really works before 6 months.

Original poster

Poshers · 31/03/2014 01:59

I've co slept since day 1, it's taken me 4 weeks to get him out of my bed, I was getting ZERO sleep as he kicks & punches all night.

I'm listening to him screaming now! I just can't do this every night he stops as soon as I pick him up so I know he is just playing me!

OP posts:

Gooseysgirl · 31/03/2014 03:01

Could be sleep regression, definitely happened with our DD at that age but we weren't up every hour with her. This may not be helpful but... DS was very wakeful like that at about 10 weeks, turns out he had silent reflux. Now he is on ranitidine and it has made a huge difference, is sleeping at least 4-5 hrs undisturbed.

wellieboots · 31/03/2014 03:21

Could be 4 month regression, in which case you just need to ride it out I'm afraid. Controlled crying isn't recommended until at least 6 months. But if it's about being laid down, I agree about getting checked for reflux.

knittingirl · 31/03/2014 09:13

It sounds like he is looking for comfort. He is still tiny and at that age comfort is still much of a need for him as food - he's not manipulating, just asking for what he needs.

None of which helps you that much! We went through a similar thing, and got through by semi - cos leaping - basically ended up in bed with me when I got too knackered to keep going.

Good luck!

knittingirl · 31/03/2014 09:14

Rubbish auto correct - I meant semi co-sleeping obviously!

Original poster

Poshers · 31/03/2014 09:42

Knittingirl .. yes I think I totally agree on this one :) that's what I'm aiming for. Although ... I did let him cry for about 20mins & he did go off & then all was well ... stayed in his cot all night!!

I suppose my fear is creating bad habits now that will be tougher to crack further down the line

OP posts:

keepitgoing · 31/03/2014 12:32

hi... mine is the same, every 90 mins. I feed her to get her back to sleep as it's the only way to function. I figure it is probably a bad habit but I will have to fix it after six months... as they say sleep training doesn't work before then plus they are in this sleep regression phase

come join us on the sleep regression thread.

Mondayschild78 · 01/04/2014 03:36

Sounds like 4 month sleep regression. We've just come out the other side of it. At its worst DS was up hourly and yes would only sleep with me holding him. It all lasted about 4 weeks. Very tough but just remember it will all change again before you know it!
If it doesn't change it could be something else so worth getting checked out. Or if you have a gut feel that there is another reason why little one is waking up then get him checked out.

wigglylines · 01/04/2014 03:44

He's not playing you, babies can't be manipulative. He wants to be next to you. It's a natural instinct. DD wakes up every hour until she's in bed with me, then she sleeps through.

Would you consider cosleeping again if he didn't kick out and keep you up? That must have been exhausting! I wonder why he did it? I wonder if there's anything that could be changed to stop him doing it. Does he do it when alone in his cot?

wigglylines · 01/04/2014 03:59

Keepitgoing, feeding to sleep is not a bad habit, it's what nature intended.

Assuming you're in the UK (or US / Ireland) we live in a very anti-breastfeeding society, which gives out the impression that there's something wrong with feeding to sleep.

Actually, feeding to sleep is totally normal and has been accepted as such throughout history and in many countries across the world.

Honestly, I despair at the books and methods which teach new mothers they have to teach DCs to self-settle and give peope the idea that there is something wrong with feeding to sleep or that it will create problems later on, when all that sleep training stuff creates problems now IMO!

I watched one of my best friends tear her hair out trying to get her baby to self settle and stay in a cot. She was worried she would create a rod for her own back, but if looked to me like she was beating herself with that rod right there and then! I fed both my babies to sleep. DS grew out if it as he got older, and with DP's help, stopped feeding to sleep at a later time, gently and without any leaving to cry etc. My friend has a much more laid back approach with her second and told me once she now thinks all that was a waste of time.

I appreciate all babies are different, and parents needs are different too. Some do self settle, but most don't IME, if feeding to sleep works for you please don't let anyone tell you you're doing something wrong, you're doing brilliantly IMO and what nature intended.

OK, rant over!

keepitgoing · 01/04/2014 07:12

I wouldn't think feeding to sleep is bad only my dd is now waking after EVERY sleep cycle so clearly cannot get to or stay asleep without feeding. how is this good for either of us?

josephine1986 · 01/04/2014 12:07

Maybe she is working on something developmentally, keepitgoing? Feeding to/during sleep is a way to get the longer feeds in and all the rich milk that makes them grow! I am able to semi sleep through dd's night feeds now (cosleeping) and don't wake myself up by checking time etc. so no idea how often she feeds.

Original poster

Poshers · 01/04/2014 20:14

Thanks all ... just had 2.5 hrs of hell trying to get him down this eve, and he didn't take a full feed :-( so I'm sure he will wake soon.

I am convinced thou that the more I read, @wigglylines that I do actually agree with you. Society has made us this way now and it's MORE stressful. I am totally on my own so just sometimes find it hard with no one to tell me either way .. thank god for MumsNet! x

OP posts:

stinkypants · 03/04/2014 22:27

It's a minefield as people have such strong views on it -we spent weeks putting ourselves through hell with stopping and starting the cc method with both of our boys but once we stuck to it for about 3 days it worked. I'm expecting twins now so there is no way I'm going to be able to co sleep or feed to sleep. They will be learning to self settle but with me nearby. I sound far more confident than I am really!

coldwater1 · 05/04/2014 02:20

My 4 month old up every 30 mins i kid you not! Beyond ridiculous!!

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