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Original poster

AIBU to blow the routine?

17 replies

HugoTheHippo · 11/03/2014 19:45

6mo DD is still a poor sleeper at night and we've had a particularly bad stretch of nights recently with me not getting more than 3-4 hours sleep. DH is away for work this week and DD and I have just unintentionally been napping for the last two and a half hours (totally by accident, but probably one of the longest stretches of sleep I've had in a while!)

It's going to bugger bedtime anyway, so AIBU unreasonable to sod bathtime and the rest of the routine tonight and just cuddle her on the sofa all evening until she falls asleep?

OP posts:
stargirl1701 · 11/03/2014 19:48

YANBU. Early parenting is survival, pure and simple. Do whatever the hell you have to survive it.

matilda101 · 11/03/2014 19:53

YANBU - I got my first dd into a strict daytime routine and her nighttime sleep was shocking, when she was about 11 months old I totally ditched the rigid routine and let her sleep as long as she wanted during the day, she started sleeping through the night. I now have a second dd who is 6 months old and I haven't got her into a routine at all, sometimes she sleeps for a total of one hour a day and sometimes she'll have a 3 hour nap, her night sleep is great and her daytime sleep has no effect on her nighttime sleep at all!! She is the happiest baby I know ( far more smiley than dd1!) and I am a lot more chilled out.

Definately ditch the routine!!

PurplePidjin · 11/03/2014 20:04

If it doesn't work, change it!

Find the time that suits your child - my 15mo ds is regularly asleep before 6 (and gets up between 7 and 8:30), when bedtime was 7 (which is what I consider a reasonable time tbh, I find the earlier one a bit odd!) he would wake multiple times a night for no identifiable reason and be up between 5 and 6!

Keep the sleep cues of bath/milk/bed the same just move the timings around. If she was happy to have a nap at 5:15 maybe an earlier bedtime would help you like it did us? They're all so different :)

Original poster
HugoTheHippo · 11/03/2014 20:20

Thank you - I was seriously half expecting some 'rod for your own back' type replies, so feel a bit better for some sympathy!

Pidjin, that's interesting. DD did seem to sort of tell us that she wanted to be asleep by 7.30 which is why we have been aiming for that as a bedtime, and we do usually have a good routine. She goes to sleep fine and usually sleeps quite well during the evening, it's just after midnight that it all goes wrong. I wonder if an earlier bedtime might be worth a try.

For now though, she is wide awake next to me on the sofa in her pjs. I have a large glass of wine handy and a remote control and am going to have a night off from stressing about it all. At least I got a nap earlier!

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poocatcherchampion · 11/03/2014 20:25

I am so jealous of that nap. It sounds dreamy! My6mo is all over the place but there is s toddler to contend with too. Lazy days snoozing with her are what I dream of!

Original poster
HugoTheHippo · 11/03/2014 20:30

Poocatcher - you have my sympathy. And thanks for reminding me that it could be worse! Hope things get better for you soon.

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GingerMaman · 11/03/2014 20:35

Yanbu, do whatever you need to do and go with your gut instinct.

With poor sleepers, the whole bath time routine blava is so over rated. It makes no difference to my DD, it just makes me feel like we are in a so called routine.

GingerMaman · 11/03/2014 20:36

Btw my DDs bedtime is from 9pm to 9am. This way she gets to see her daddy too more or less every evening.

PurplePidjin · 11/03/2014 20:42

DS spent about 3 weeks when he was only a couple of months old going to sleep (breastfeeding, so end of the evening cluster) at 10:26pm. He then moved it to around quarter to 9 for a few weeks. It's gradually got earlier I'm dreading the clocks changing

My point is, they change their needs. Without warning. And then get all guilt-making and accusatory when you don't understand and react immediately Hmm

Original poster
HugoTheHippo · 11/03/2014 20:54

Wow - she's gone back to sleep again already and gone down without any fuss! I was definitely not expecting that. Obviously the night is young, but Pidjin, you might be onto something. If this works I might hire you as my personal sleep consultant.

GingerMaman - yes, we wanted to have a bedtime late enough so she could see her daddy (actually me, when I go back to work as he will shift hours earlier so he can pick her up from nursery and I won't be back until after 7). I've still got five months before going back though, so maybe it's time to experiment with the timings a bit and see what, if anything, makes a difference for her.

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poocatcherchampion · 11/03/2014 20:56

I agree about the bath too.as if that makes any difference at 4am! I guess it probably helps get them off to sleep but that is as far as I buy it. Consequently it goes out the window when I cba.

Thanks for the sympathy hugo at least they are adorable! except when they crap at 4am

PurplePidjin · 11/03/2014 21:10

Haha, it doesn't work for everyone - just happened to work for me and my currently only ds! My next baby will be completely different and I'll be posting here for advice all the time Wink I should shut up now and let you pay me lots of money Grin

It happens to work well for us because I work evenings, leaving the house at 6 or just before. I have friends who don't even get to nursery to pick their dc up till 6, so it would be hell for them to do the same. If it works, do it, if not then just do something else :)

poocatcher dates and apricots make my ds poo in the night, I've stopped him having them and it was like magic! I think raisins do the same. Banana with breakfast keep things a nice texture (we're in cloth, so it's nice to be able to flush not scrape iyswim ) then only one other item of fruit during the day, plus lots of veg which doesn't seem to have the same effect Hmm

PurplePidjin · 11/03/2014 21:11

Oh, and fwiw my ds likes an evening bath. But a very experienced friend who has 5 always bathed hers in the morning because it hyped them up. As did my MIL with her 3 for a similar reason.

poocatcherchampion · 11/03/2014 21:20

thanks purple we are clothies too so I have worked on balancing the fruit. banana is good. kiwi fruit a rare treat. poo scraper knife has not been used for a few weeks although id like to retire it for a week or two as dd1 is potty trained but saves her poos for first thing in her nappy.

it is dd2 who fills her nappy. weaning is not going brilliantly and her guts are dreadful at night. she is barely eating anything but feeds every 3 hours day and night. she requires improvement. Grin

sorry for derailing thread with talk of my daughters' bowels!

PurplePidjin · 11/03/2014 21:31

Yeah, not much can be done until they get used to food Sad maybe keep the dairy for early in the day? Oh and I've got a thread in Parenting you might have an opinion on no one else has yet i'm all Milly No Mates-

poocatcherchampion · 11/03/2014 22:13

you might be on to something with dairy. last night she had yoghurt for tea - raspberry flavour. and it smelt of it at 4am... nice!

Original poster
HugoTheHippo · 12/03/2014 03:17

Not going so well right about now. DD has been fed and rocked. She has been whining, snorting and blowing raspberries at me for the last hour. Sad

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