What's normal - 4 month old

[Lostinspace82]

Hi all,

I have a lovely 4 month old boy who is exclusively breastfed and I just want some honest views on what normal sleep for a baby of this age looks like - all my nct peers seem to have babies sleeping through and all I seem to get at the moment is pitying looks and suggestions I should just switch to formula (like I am choosing sleep deprivation by continuing to breastfeed) so please tell me whether my little boy is abnormal to not be sleeping through and to only have a long nap when cuddled or is everyone else lucky?

Here is what my son does

Bedtime - around 6.30 - usually feeds till drowsy then settles himself in his cot
Wakes at around 10pm, 2am and 5am to feed...lately he will only go back to sleep at 5am if cuddled but will then sleep till 7am
Naps for 45 mins at 9am
Naps for 2 hrs at midday (45 mins in cot, 1hr15 mins cuddling)
Naps for 15 mins in buggy or sling at 4pm

I feel a bit like a failure to not have my son sleeping through and I'm sick of hearing about bottle feeding!

Totally normal, in fact for four months that's pretty good as it's a notorious time for terrible sleep (think there's a four month sleep regression thread going, a quick read of that will make you feel at ease!).

I ff but if I could have continued breastfeeding I would have chosen what you have over bottle feeding during the night... formula doesn't guarantee LO won't still want fed!

I bf DS1 and 2 and ff DS3 and they were haing around 2 to 3 naps of about 20 minutes to an hour and a half during the day and 7 to 7 at night. They were all very babies with completely different feeding patterns but had very similar sleep patterns.

sounds exactly like my 4mo daughter!! settles herself at night and first wake up or two, but not in the early morning. won't nap in cot at all though, wakes as soon as I put her down. and has shorter maps so usually 8.30, 11, 1.30, 4 or so, but not much routine. she's done the odd 6/7 hour stretch at the start of the night, more usually 5.

I'm not convinced she's always hungry. but she does self settle between feeds, I've heard her

also glad it's not just me!

Can you swap day around so bedtime isn't so early? It sounds like they are sleeping the longest from 6pm- 10pm, which is surely when you are up?
Personally I would let them feed at much as they like all eve, and put to bed properly when you go at 10-11pm. That way you are likely to get just one night waking. Ie bed and last feed at 11pm, wake at 3pm for feed, then hopefully sleep until 6/7 am

At that age I bf every 2 hrs approx from 9am- 11pm, and often extra 6-11pm. They then slept 11pm-6am, quick feed then back until 9am. I would much rather play with them in eve/ them doze on me, that playing at 5am!

Very similar to my 4month old DD and she is ff

thanks art but in my case she is knackered and any nap after 6 turns into deep 'nihht' style sleep. I tried a dream feed but it didn't help. at least I have an evening back now

He sounds way better and more settled than mine was at 4 months!

But yes bed an hour or so later maybe to give you more out of that first stretch?

Tbh the pitying stares won't last long...just because your friends' babies sleep through now doesn't mean they always will!

Sounds perfectly normal to me. I ebf'd my DS (now nearly 4) and he had a smiler sleep pattern until he was almost a year! My DD is ten months old and has just (ie this week) started sleeping through. She was also ebf'd prior to weaning. I am in raptures as DS didn't sleep through til nearly 2 years old!

All of your friends are extremely lucky.

My DS woke almost every hour at that age.

I too got the pitying looks and advice to switch to
Formula - I was very young and thought they all knew better. I did and it didn't make a blind bit of difference.

They sleep when they are ready and I regret not breast feeding longer now!

Thank you all very much...I no longer feel like I'm the only person in the world with a baby who doesn't sleep through. Although sorry there are loads of people out there suffering with sleepless nights

We have tried later bedtime...my son used to feed all evening and then go down about 11pm but at about 10 weeks he started refusing to feed more than every 3 hours and would just be grumpy and miserable all evening...we ended up with this bedtime as it does make him the most contended during the day - not the best for our night sleep but it does seem work for him...thank you very much for the idea though...I wish it would help!

My baby at 4 months did exactly this, although we were never as lucky with naps. He's also EBF. Suddenly, out of the blue, for no reason at all, it got better. Within a couple of weeks between 4-5 months he just slept for longer, and we even had one night of him sleeping 7-6 a few days ago (now aged 19 weeks). I did nothing at all to cause this, just seemed to happen on it's own, he's still EBF.