SLEEP REGRESSION part 2...Roll up, roll up folks! Swap tales of woe, ideas, enjoy solidarity and get support here

[cakebaby]

Thought I'd start a new thread as I couldn't see another one yet (will get HQ to delete if already up and running).

Tis good to talk.....

I think I am mental (a doormat?) re my situation but I just can't be bothered to get him to do stuff as he is clueless. We have 3 dc too. I do everything for the baby, I mean everything - he's probably changed total of 5 nappies ever and never done meals etc. he takes her for a walk in pushchair at the weekend. He probably has her for 5 mins a day total in the week. He doesn't do any cooking for other dc's either and I do all the washing, school stuff - uniforms, homework, reading etc. he does ferry them places and do the sport stuff. I've done every single night waking ever for all 3 dc...
Yes that looks bad doesn't it!
But you know, I like to simmer the resentment away and as for anything that would risk a chance of dc4 - well put it this way, that avenue of opportunity is not available to him!!

Bloody hell both Cakes. Your DH's have an easy time of it. They need to be stepping up and giving you both a break.

My DH works FT. I'm on MAT leave. If I've had a heavy night he deals with both DDs in the morning until he leaves about 8am. He does however leave the kitchen in a bloody mess.

He also never really has a lie in at weekends. I get them, except for today when DD2 decided 5.30am was wide awake time.

Apart from being a messy bugger and always leaving everything at his arse, DH is pretty good. He cooks, he'll clean if pointed in the right direction, he'll hang out the odd basket of washing, deals with the garden, he puts both DDs in the bath and the bed. Mind you he'll get a shock when I go back to work, as I do most of the housework at the moment. That's going to stop!

What soup says - mine can not do nights as I said earlier he did 11.30-4 one night & often tells people he had him one night for me ( I love how he says he did it for me although I'm sure ds is his ds also!!) but everything else is shared, bathing the boys, feeding the baby, I cook all week but he has cooked tonight as he has been off work! We share all the joys of our family which we have built together & we share the "work" that is involved with raising our family also!! Although he does have a week away with work coming up, I will be drinking gin day & night that week!!! ??????

I know, but honestly the performance we're having today, you'd think I'd just announced I was off to the fucking Bahama's for a fortnight. Such a huff. Apparently its not about the 'lie in' says the self confessed morning hater its about me suggesting he doesn't do enough. Then he came out with a load of random stuff off on a tangent, I was WTF?

AND THEN he announced he was taking ds out when it was nap time. So I let him get on with it, had a hot bath up to my nose with a glass of rosé and a box of cheese straws left over from Xmas living the dream

Oh and 3 wake ups since bedtime at 730. FFS

Oh cakeb maybe you need to approach the subject differently with him like I said the whole lets look at your days off & plan it around you, I think he has reacted like this slightly out of shame as he knows he isn't doing enough!!!

Ooh I would love a glass of rose now but I've just come up to bed maybe tomorrow night!

Bath and cheese straws sounds lovely. Also, wine.

Agree that both your husbands need to step up cakeb and cakeis. That said I could have cheerfully smothered my DH last night. Poor thing couldn't sleep which means that I couldn't sleep as he tossed and turned and huffed. DS then filled his nappy at 3am and DH kept appearing in the nursery trying to help, which sounds nice except that he has no concept of being quiet during the night and ends up waking DH up more. He then started emailing from his phone at 4am at which point I might have lost my temper.

I saw every hour of the night and I'm at work today.

oh dear Margot. dreadful night here too. dg's attempt to settle without food wound her up so much she was awake 3 hours even though I had given in and fed 3 times. I feel broken.

boo - the thought of a week away for work. staying in a hotel............ is the stuff of my fantasies right now no chance of a sibling here either

Today I am just fucked off full stop. I tried the no feed between 12-6 again but at 2.30 dd was furious and crying etc etc - gave in at 2.45 and she slept till 6. I had words with DH last night but he reacted more or less same as cakes and got all arsy saying that I was out of order saying he did nothing. Blah blah...I couldn't be bothered to even argue. He also decreed that dd will never sleep until I give her a bottle at bedtime,.. like he's the fucking baby whisperer..

Ladies what is going on? Isn't that the million dollar question hey?? My ds was also truly awful last night but from somewhere I found the courage not to feed him between 11 & 5 from 1-3 was a nightmare of nearly giving in & falling to sleep & being like his mother & not wanting to give in, to be fair to DP (I know there's a lot of partner/ husband bashing going on at the min!) he stroked him, patted him etc he went off just before 3 & slept until 5.20 so he couldn't have been hungry right? Anyway I fed him at 5.20 & he went back off til 7.10 but I feel exhausted today & various lessons after school today so I'm doubling up as taxi driver later!!

I've posted before about being lucky enough to extend my mat leave but I'm wondering if I would have been better going back to work the end of June as at time I feel really angry with ds which I know is awful!

On another note I signed up to some exercise classes starting wed - i did this yesterday what was I thinking if it was tonight I think I would have had to pull out!!

Yep I hear you boo about getting angry -last night around the 2am mark I just felt really angry with her..then the guilt just washes over me and I feel awful for even feeling angry - I think that's part of the reason I gave in at 2.45, just guilt.

I think if someone could tell me that if I refused his night feeds in a weeks time the problem would be sorted I could do it however I just feel it may improve the situation for a while but something will crop up unsettle him & be back to square one & oh god the crying/ screaming goes right through me! Definitely having a down day today although I put him up in his cot for a sleep half an hour ago & after 5 mins of crying he is fast asleep - he really can be very good at times but I want more!!!

Think it's understandable after 8months of very (VERY) broken sleep it's taking it's toll! I'm sure the other two weren't this bad, they can't have been else I wouldn't have had anymore!

Maybe I will abandon him for an hour at the cricket training session tonight be good for him all that fresh air hey??

Don't blame you for giving in Cakeis i was just in a very stubborn mood!

Sorry ladies, I seem to have opened a tin of woe here

But...... DONS TIN HAT .......

whispers ........

Behold, for a miracle has occurred.......

ds slept through

runs away

You should run away putting messages like that on here!! Haha! Wow how fab for you what do you mean by sleep through what hours??

I bet you can't think of anything you did different can you? Or can you??

I did wonder whether to post or not, but I thought it might give others hope. And he'll probably never do it again anyway

Slept from 930 to 0600. I did nothing different apart from having a glass of vino mid afternoon

Well if ever there was an incentive to get the wine out - better do the nursery run first though huh??

Commiserations for all of you who have unhelpful OHs. Have some I am blessed to have helpful and caring DP. He doesn't do night wakings but does help out a lot with other things...

Cakeis I would give DD a bottle just to prove him wrong. I tried this myself with DS and it didn't make a tiny bit of difference.

I also try and not feed DS as most of the time he is not hungry, but more often than not if it proves too long to settle him without boob I just give in. I don't think it makes any difference whether I feed him or not...

Wow cake, that's impressive! Maybe that glass of vino should be a part of "bedtime routine" now

After several nights of hourly wakings or thereabouts and me getting to a breaking point DS decided to give me a break and made 4h stretch on Sat night. It was after I took him into my bed but who cares? After that he fed and slept for another 2.5h. I was actually feeling like a human yesterday.

Last night was a bit of a mix, the good part was that he didn't wake up a 100 times after being put to bed, but actually slept for almost 3h before waking up. The rest of the night however he was waking every 1-2 hours, and crapped his nappy at 6 AND 7 . However he then slept till 9:30 so not too bad but I still feel tired...

Also started solids yesterday which didn't go well at all. However it was worth it just to see DS's funniest ever disgusted face

Woo hoo Cakebaby. Woo hoo.

Runs to kitchen to open bottle of vino.....

Cakebaby that's amazing, so pleased for you. I hope you were able to make the most of it and get some sleep and not wake every half hour expecting to be woken as I do when DS occasionally decides to sleep.

brilliant baby cake!!

Omg cake
Seriously did you just do everything like any other night? Did you just wake up in the morning and think wtaf!! And were your boobs huge?
And last question did he have a better night the night before, ie shape up to it??

Nothing different whatsoever. We do co sleep though so i can't decide if thats a cheat or not?

I woke three times though! We are just trying to get back to normal after this horrid cough & cold which led to more wakings, less solids, crap naps etc, so I really don't know what's going on. Maybe he's just bloody shattered like the rest of us

All I can say is that over the last 6 weeks or so, he has generally woken less, maybe 2 times on average, but sometimes 3 or just once. There's no pattern to it at all. I still feed to sleep, try to resettle without feeding but if he complains I give in far too easily, if he doesn't complain immediately I try and shush him. He's woken twice since bedtime already, resettled in a few mins.

I have noticed that sometimes when he stirs (video monitor) he can get up onto all fours, look around, grumble, rub eyes etc then just flop down & go back off even a month ago this would have been unthinkable, he'd have yelled til I went & fed him back off again.

It could just be a one off! Its nothing I've done, it could be that they just find their own way in their own time I guess? You can't make them sleep can you?

Oh and no, the night before was no different, I think that was the sleep crawling night! He has been feeding less at night recently and I haven't really felt full for a while now, not that there's any shortage!

It's taken 8 months, at least I know he can do it. He can do it again, when is a different matter!

Well cakeb it might be a more regular thing from now on even if my ds just slept through 2 or 3 times a week it would be a massive relief for me!

Wish me luck girls it's night two of the boob refusal between 11 & 5 although I'm already panicking, if he doesn't have his 10pm wake-up/ feed/ re-settle but wakes at 11.30 for example would I feed them because he had woken later than usual or would I bring the boob ban forward a bit & feed him from 4 instead of 5 - am I making myself clear? I'm rambling aren't i!!

I think I'd want him to start off with a full tum. Get me giving out advice suddenly the oracle