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Sleep

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Original poster

CC - Please, anyone out there, I need support thru this...

58 replies

Lilypie · 06/08/2006 19:57

DD (14 months) is absolutely screaming. Its the first night of CC and I'm feeling so desperately guilty but I know I have to get thru these few days. She's become so clingy, have taken her to GP to check nothings wrong, and she's fine but waking 4-5 times a night and cried until I cuddle her back to a v deep sleep and as this takes an hour or so each time I am getting no sleep, this is going on about 6 weeks, it started with the hot weather and she would wake up hot and sweaty and be upset.
God, I so badly want to pick her up... she's screaming. Everytime I go in she gets worse.
Is anyone out there who can give me some encouragement to see this thru...?

OP posts:

Mandymoo · 06/08/2006 20:00

Just keep telling yourself that ultimately you are doing this for her benefit - a tired mummy is not a happy mummy! Good luck and please stick with it now you've started X

Original poster

Lilypie · 06/08/2006 20:01

I feel so cruel. Am I mentally scarring her by doing this?

OP posts:

Charlee · 06/08/2006 20:02

Lilypie i did this with DS it was the only way he got sleeping through, you will get there and it probably wont take as long as it seems, i know all you want to do when your baby is crying is go comfort her but you both need sleep, keep it up

Charlee · 06/08/2006 20:03

no your not mentally scarring her she wont remeber when shes older! DS sleeps great now we only had tears for about a week at bed time. Now hes a normal HAPPY little boy

Mandymoo · 06/08/2006 20:05

No you are not mentally scarring her at all - we did this with dd and all it took was literally 2-3 nights of crying and then she got into her pattern of sleeping.

It really is worth sticking with - especially as now you've taken the first step.

Your baby's cry is designed to get to you and make you want to comfort her but just keep at it.

Is she still going for it?

CanSleepWillSleep · 06/08/2006 20:06

Definitely not mentally scarring her lilypie. I'm reading Richard Ferber's book at the moment, after starting controlled crying a few days ago (yes I know it would have made more sense to read the book first!) and he is quite clear on this point.

Do keep going. My DD is only just about 6 months but we have gone from getting up 5 or 6 times a night for up to 2.5hours a time to me just getting up once around 4 to feed her. That is in the space of 3 days! She now mostly gets herself off to sleep within 5 mins, and the longest it's taken in the last couple of days is 15.

CanSleepWillSleep · 06/08/2006 20:08

Oh I should say that I broke the 'rules' and did pick her up each time I went in. Gave her a quick cuddle and generally calmed her and then put her back down and walked away (when she'd normally start crying again) - completely avoided eye contact though.

flutterbee · 06/08/2006 20:08

You and your dd will be fine, keep it up and before you know it you will be offering words of advice/comfort to other mums going through their first night of cc.

Original poster

Lilypie · 06/08/2006 20:21

She just threw up.

OP posts:

Original poster

Lilypie · 06/08/2006 20:22

I've cleaned it all up but now I feel even worse.
She's got nothing in her tummy now. What do I do now?

OP posts:

flutterbee · 06/08/2006 20:23

Don't panic DS did this, just clean it up don't interact have a quick cuddle to calm her back down and then pop her back to bed. It really is nothing to worry about, depending on how much she threw up you may want to give her some cooled boiled water.

flutterbee · 06/08/2006 20:23

sorry x posts with you, give her some cooled boiled water and then pop her back down.

Dragonhart · 06/08/2006 20:24

Def keep going with it Lilypie. You are doing it for her so that she can learn how to sleep better and be a happier little girl.

When you are tempted to give in just keep thinking that if you give in then all the cying before has been for nothing. But if you stick with it then you will both be happier!! Good Luck xxxxx

CanSleepWillSleep · 06/08/2006 20:24

Ferber mentions that some children do this. He says don't worry about it - just clean up as quickly and with as little fuss as possible and then leave her again. You really don't want her to think that throwing up will get your attention, as it will only encourage her to do it again.

I'd imagine she still has enough in her to get through the night.

Sparkler1 · 06/08/2006 20:25

Have you offered her a drink of water? It is so hot and if she is getting herself wound up she will need it even more.
Hang in there, it's not easy but you will get there in the end.

FrannyandZooey · 06/08/2006 20:27

I really feel for you Lilypie. I think people considering controlled crying should have all the facts. Controlled crying is not recommended for under 3s. You might want to read this paper from the Australian Infant Mental Health Institute on controlled crying and infant mental health

If you want to come and get some ideas on ways to deal with this other than controlled crying, just ask us. There are loads of us out here who have been through this and used different methods - cc is not the only way to deal with night waking.

Angeliz · 06/08/2006 20:29

REALLY tryed not to post but can't help it.
I would say you are torturing yourself and her for nothing.
If it's making you feel so bad would you not consider co-sleeping for a while until she's more settled? (BTW i don't think she can make herself sick for attention

Original poster

Lilypie · 06/08/2006 20:29

She stopped there for a while, I just popped my head in to see if she was asleep but she was standing up sucking her thumb. When she saw me she started bawling again.

OP posts:

Angeliz · 06/08/2006 20:30

Phew, Franny so glad it's not just me thinking that!

Lilypie, hope we don't upset you but i really beleive there are better and far easier ways.

trinityrhino · 06/08/2006 20:31

I have also tried not to post but I want desperately to give you and your dd a hug.
Children can't make themselves sick for attention, like franny says, not reccomended for the under 3's

please just hug her and then cosleep for a while, stop torturing yourself, your heart must be breaking

flutterbee · 06/08/2006 20:32

did she take any water lilypie or did you just pop her back down again.

If she goes quiet again do not pop your head in until you have had at least 15 mins of silence.

trinityrhino · 06/08/2006 20:32

I don't think that at 14 months they can understand what is expected of them, I feel like my dd's would have just thought I had abandoned them

Original poster

Lilypie · 06/08/2006 20:33

Angeliz - she wont co-sleep and I wouldn't do that anyway as I feel it'd be regressing. She's been an excellent sleeper since 9 weeks old she's just developed bad habits recently with the hot weather.

OP posts:

trinityrhino · 06/08/2006 20:33

I'm soory that I posted, I shouldn't have, you asked for support

FrannyandZooey · 06/08/2006 20:34

I never know what to do

and I know you posted for support Lilypie

I do want to support you but there are other ways than cc, there are lots of us here who can help you think of something better than this

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