Don't know what I'm doing with 20 week old naps :(

[Alias78]

My 20wk old DS sleeps through the night, mostly, but im not sure I'm doing the daytime nap thing properly at all. He only sleeps for 20-30 mins at a time during the day and is absolutely knackered and miserable by evening time.

His routine is generally

7:30am get up (though he's often awake before this time, cooing quite happily in his crib)
8am: feed
11am: feed
2pm: feed
5pm : feed
7pm: bath (every other day)
8pm: feed then bed

He tends to get tired and grumpy 60-90 mins after a feed so I've been trying to put him down for a nap about an hour after each feed. He goes down a bit easier in the morning but late afternoons/evenings are usually lots of crying, spitting out dummy, refusal to settle etc. even though he's clearly tired.

Am I doing it wrong trying to get 4 naps a day out of him?? I've read things saying he should be having 1-2 hours sleep around lunchtime and small morning and afternoon naps. Should this be before or after his 2pm feed? Looking at his routine, when would you put a 20-week-old down for naps?

I feel like I'm getting it really wrong and hate seeing him so miserable come evening time. Bath time is a nightmare as he's so grumpy by then but I can't handle bath time on my own and wait till DH gets in.

I need help! :(

Will he sleep on you? My DD was that same and couldn't put her down. Slept fine at night but wouldn't go anywhere near her moses basket in daytime without screaming!

After having enough of her sleeping only on me (unable to get anything done), I decided to move her basket to her own room in preparation for for sleeping in the permenantly. 8 times out of 10 she's been perfect going to sleep in there. Sometimes it will take a while to get her off but as long as I take her up there at the first sign of her being tired that she's not too bad.

I do keep her down with me for her 20min 'powernap' at 6ish though as don't want to get her confused for bedtime!

Example of usual day:
6.30-7 wake up & feed
8.45 - nap
10 - feed
11.30 nap
1pm feed
3pm nap
4pm feed
6pm short nap
7pm feed, bath (every other day) then bed by 8ish

By the way DD is 22 weeks old

Does all this routine stuff feel right for you? Mine fed when he wanted, slept when he wanted, we were both happy. Of course some people love schedules and routines, and if that's what feels right for you, that's great, each to their own. But if its stressing you, you don't have to do it that way.

At this stage,,I would have thought most children would be down to three naps. If you try cutting out one of the naps, he may catch up on one of the others...or he may not and be even grumpier in the evening! DC2 only ever cat napped as he had to fit around DC1's school run but, by 12mths, he had settled himself into the "normal" routine of one long nap after lunch.
One other solution is to move bathtime. There's no rule that says it has to be in the evening. DC1 always did but when DC2 came along, I really struggled to bath them both so he had his is in the morning, just as we got home from the school run. He always napped during that so was awake & alert & would have a lovely splash. This morning, it was pouring down here AGAIN so mine spent an hour in the bath . I just view it as an indoor paddling pool!

Bridezilla - he won't sleep on me! So your DD has 4 naps. Similar to what I'm trying with my DS. How long does each nap last? Your routine is v similar to ours.

Chaser - It's not a routine of my own making, i fed on demand from the beginning and he naturally fell into this feeding schedule and it's stuck. So I'm trying to work in some naps around it. I just can't help thinking if he had a 1-2 hour sleep after lunch he'd be much happier in the afternoon.

As long as she's slept well at night then they usually last 45mins-1hour. Sometimes the lunchtime one can last up to 90 mins.

Does he self-settle at night?

Bless you. It's hard, and I remember it well.

If you put him down straight after his feed, what happens? Does he have any music/mobile to watch? I found my dd would fall asleep watching that, mainly out of pure boredom I reckon

Watching with interest as going to try and get a nap routine going this week! He is 5.5 months abd won't sleep during the day unless he's in his pram being walked, in the car or on me. I need him to sleep in his bed even for half an hour so I can make dinner!!

I'll let you know how we get on this week....

I think some babies are just cat nappers. My dd was at that age but once she started walking she transitioned straight to one 3hr nap after lunch.

only speaking from my experience, which is only one baby, but wanted to share as it feels wretched when struggling with naps.
We fed and slept on demand too but our dd also established her own identifiable pattern. We would always, and still do now she is 40 weeks, wait for sleep cues as that makes our nap attempts much more successful. If she sucks her thumb we start our nap routine, if we are at home. We do into bag, close curtains together, dream sheep music on, quick story, dream sheep heartbeat on, into cot, leave. Dd often only does thirty to forty minutes, but now we have cut from three to two they can be longer. I might be inclined to switch to three naps if I were you. Good luck.

He does self-settle at night. He's a thumb sucker! Also likes a dummy but that can be a pain as he pulls it out but hasn't quite got the co ordination to put it back in again - cue crying and waving the thing about (babies are so silly!!)

He's usually too awake after a feed to sleep and will roll about in his crib waving his legs in the air. He has a lullaby light show thing he likes. It works wonders at night but he's not fussed during the day. I don't usually put him in his grobag for day naps but might start doing that so it resembles bed time more. I do draw curtains and put him in crib in bedroom like bedtime. DH wondered if we should introduce a story before bed to see if it distracts him from his grizzly mood. If that works I could maybe read to him before his nap too.

He's also outgrowing his bedside crib. We're just waiting for cot bed to arrive. He sometimes gets his leg caught in the bars which upsets him (another reason for daytime grobag!)

I struggle to bath him on my own so tend to do that in the evening when DH can help methought I could give him a sponge bath in the morning.

Im going to try to drop one of his morning naps to see if it helps him sleep longer in the afternoon tomorrow

Thanks for the suggestions. I'll update tomorrow! x

My little girl has just turned 1 and she never really slept long during the day but slept all night maybe drop 1 or 2 naps cuz ad they get older they don't need as much sleep as we would like them to have. Try not to do do as much night time routine with him during the day cuz you will confuse him between night and day. Try and doplay time during the day so when he does sleep he's tired and will sleep longer