Help, please, help! Dreadful bedtime...

[Mamulka]

DD started waking up regularly at about 10pm and refuses to settle untill midnight!!! Her sleep pattern is
nap from 12 to 1,
afternoon nap from 4 to 5pm,
if she wakes up earlier than usual it is from 11 to 1 apprxmtly. General rule no napping after 5.30.
Bedtime - 9 pm. We start bathing and routine at about 8.15 - 8.30. I guess we messed it up...She was teething recently and we were taking her to our bed to get her asleep and then we would transfer her to the cot. Now she refuses to get settled in her cot and would wake up even if she is left in our bed. Yesterday we tried PU/PD it did not work, I was exhausted. I ended up in tears, my DH feeling sorry for both of us took her in bed with him and they went to the spare bedroom. Only then DD finally fell asleep about midnight. I felt like crap but had a decent sleep though...all alone in double bed...no snoring DH and whimpering DD...Still I terrified of bedtime now it has become a BADtime. Please, advice me smthing. CC doesn't work with us, DD goes really hystterical, red spots, trembling, sobbing...we can't do this to her...sorry. Once again, I am feeling like an absolutely incompetent parent.

how old is she?

She is 9 month

Just a thought but have you tried putting her to bed a little earlier?Both mine are usually in bed by 7.30 one is 2.7 one 7 months.I think my little girl was getting overtired as i was doing bathing and bed for them both at the same time and she was much more settled when i put her in bed earlier.I realise this may not be feasible if you both work long hours.Also could she be teething still as this can severely disrupt sleep patterns.Dont feel you are incompetent its never easy being a parent and no one is perfect aty it and the goalposts keep changing just as you think youve tackled one issue.Must go dd woken up.Poor little mite has ear infection...Pass the calpol!!!

Dear WT, thank you very much for responding. It was better last night, total darkness in the bed room helped I suppose, we put the thick blanket over the curtaines and turned off nightlight. She slept with me in bed though...Now we have to tackle the issue of transfering her back to her cot. To be honest, earlier bedtime wouldn't work for us. I am SAHM but DH comes home usually at about 7 or even 8 pm and DD gets way too excited. In normal circumstances 9 pm works perfect for us.
Thank you again for reassurance

Hope your DD will get well real soon!!! Good Luck!