22 month old only ever slept through 2 nights

[Gedders]

Hi, I would appreciate some advice. My 22 month old has only ever slept through two nights in his life. He will wake at least four times in the night he ends up in our bed every night, but this doesn't stop him waking, and he will only be settled by a bottle of milk, though even this doesn't work sometimes. I think he has started to have nightmares too. He only falls asleep downstairs in his daddy's or grandad's arms after a bottle of milk, and he rarely falls asleep before 10pm. His daddy and I are arguing all the time and generally being nasty to each other beacuse we're so tired. I'm also worried his nightmares might be of Mummy and Daddy shouting at each other, because we do this a lot.
I have only recently come off anti-depressants I'd been on for 6 years, but now feel as if my depression is coming back and am having suicidal thoughts again . Also, I've recently started nursing training and fear I may have to give this up as I'm so tired and snappy all the time.
I'm taking him to the doctor tomorrow to see what he can do. I don't want to be fobbed off with a health visitor, I want to speak to an expert. Can I demand he refer my son to a sleep clinic?
Help please someone.
Gedders

It sounds dreadful.

I have a child this age and can't imagine how awful it must be.
I don't konw about sleep difficulties,but yours sounds like a desperate case.

Of course you can insist thast yuo are referred to a sleep clinic,whether talking to HV or GP.

Hello, and sympathy. FWIW I don't think your son's sleep habits are that unusual (there are lots of people in your shoes posting similar things on the sleep topic -- someone today posted about the magical consequences of slowly, over a number of nights, shrinking the overnight milk intake). But that doesn't make them any more bearable.

A sleep clinic is well and good but how much have you done to bring about change yourself? Dr Richard Ferber has written a useful/comprehensive/reasonable book, Solve your Child's Sleep Problem, which might make you feel that there are steps you can take yourself to change the situation. If you are miserable and desperate for change, that's not a bad place to start.

Hi Gedders

i know how you feel, I have a 22 month old who uo until a month ago rarely slept through, hubby and I were constantly exhausted.
Every night he would end up in our bed and I was at this point to tired to do anything about it.

However I realised I had to faciliate the change so we took quite a hard approach which has worked wonders.

We started a proper bedtime routine, bath followed by story in bed and then a bottle and lights out, he cried every night for about four days. I would leave him for five minutes before going in, settle him quickly then leave, then leave him slightly longer and go back in. He got the message and was going to bed and staying there after the fifth night.
It was exhausting as sometimes I would be going back and putting him back to bed around 10 times, I kept this up through the night when he came to our bed, cut out the bottles as well.

There were some tough times and he screamed like a banshhee at times but I persevered (while being pregnant, working full time and hubby working night I focussed on the end result and now he sleeps 12 hours through.

You can do it, please feel free to pM me if you want more advice, but please beleive that it can work. Good luck

Hi ive just gone through the same thing with my 20 month old and now for the last 4 nights he slept though. I reccommend the the mill pond sleep clinic book . Go to there website millpond clinic.co.uk and its cheaper to order on over the telephone. Best £7.99 i have ever spent. They give you a solution for exactlty your problem. If you follow it through they say it will take 3 weeks max. With my ds it was 10 days so far n sleeping through to between 6 and 7. I was breast feeding still so dh went in. He was scratched and kicked and ds screamed also like a banshee but for a few days of hell has come utter releif. Im also a nurse working full time its hard work. You both have to agree a way of doing it. Please please buy the book it will help if you stick to it. they also do a support service but is £150. We tried book first and worked.

Oh good luck i feel gor you but the sooner you do it the better. I promise lol donna