Getting toddler to go to sleep

[AmericasTorturedBrow]

17mo DD crap sleeper all round. Latest issue, totally of my own doing and my fault, is falling to sleep on the bottle, holding it in her hands in her cot. Waking in the night and needing it to go back to sleep.

Cracking the night time by reusing to give milk and cuddling quickly then putting down

She won't sodding go to bed in the first place, it's taking an hour of her chucking her dummies out the cot, crying, laughing when I go back in and give them back. If I stay in the room she does the same, if I leave she does the same. I need to get 4yo DS to bed in the same room and he just gets stuck in front of the tv til it's 8:30 and he's exhausted

Help me!

Put 4yo to bed first, if he goes to sleep easily, at least you won't have to feel guilty over that and it'll be one thing done.

Maybe dd needs to be more tired? Do you limit napping in the afternoon, say after 3 or 4pm?

She's overtired tonight because she had a crap nap, she normally naps 12/1 for 2 hours

They share a room so if I put DS to bed first I think she'll then be too tired and we'll continue rigmarole or he won't be deeply asleep enough and her crying will wake him again

But she might be overtired, maybe I need to change routine completely, ATM they have dinner together around 5:30, bath at 6/6:30, she goes to bed 6:30/7. There's not a huge amount of room for maneuver and I have to do the whole thing on my own most nights

Can you cut down her lunchtime nap? My DD was on 1 hour at that age and cut right back up to her second birthday.