Feeling low and desperate now.

[CarlyRose80]

Hi. I've posted previously about my 20 week old constantly waking through the night, needing his dummy replacing and then going back off, repeat process hourly. Some said it was sleep regression and some said it was dummy dependency but either way I'm at the end of my tether with it. It's been going in for weeks and weeks with no improvement in sight and I'm desperate now. I don't know what to do anymore and it's beginning to depress me. What do I do to try and improve this situation as I just can't go on like this for much longer. Please help me.

I feel your pain I really honestly do.

I have just started doing gina ford, I can't leave the house very often whilst we establish the routine however that wont be forever im sure.

It has helped lose the dummy and it really has improved a lot of things

I don't think it's dummy dependency or regression either, I'm having a similar problem with my dd. I think she just can't settle herself once she's woken from light sleep, and I need to help her find a way of settling herself that isn't so disruptive to my sleep.

But what or how I have no idea! I feed, rock, replace dummy, take her into bed with me, with mixed results. Hope someone has some better suggestions.

i've had the same problem with my dd 18m, and like sleepybunny i think it wasn't being able to self settle when she woke in the night. I have been working on being consistent, so no variation on my response, which is gently lay her back down, quiet voice saying bedtime now,kept the room dark, when she finally stayed lying down i had a few nights of shushing and gradually retreated. it's taken about three weeks, some nights of torture where i had to stay within view so she would stay lying down. but now i am at the point where she can be awake but is happy to lie there until she drops off on her own.She is comforted by the consistency .

Yeah that's exactly it and he associates the dummy with falling back to sleep which involves me doing so as he's to small. I need to replace the dummy with something he can have to smooth him back to sleep, ie fav teddy or a blanket etc. for the first time now I've put him down for his morning nap without a dummy. He cried for 10 mins. I let him suck my finger for a second then encouraged him to clutch his bear. I went to him twice and then he went to sleep. I will try with all day time naps and I know night will be hard as we will be tired and we have other children but if he can learn to go back to sleep without the dummy then yay. Will be hard I know and even more sleepless nights in the short term but gotta be worth it long term. What does gina ford do?? I've never read any of her stuff.

I really do feel your pain. My DD wakes up anything between 1 to 6 times a night for various reasons, including the classic dummy needing to be put back in her mouth. She is now going on 7 months and my husband and I have discussed trying to discontinue the use. Our thoughts were trying to distract her with toys during the day so she is less dependent on the dummy without realizing it. So far it is getting better as she does wake up for other reasons (mostly wanting to be close to me). Give that a go, it will take a while but better late then never.

One idea that worked for me when ds this age. Using summerbaby swaddle, google it can buy on Amazon. Ds would multiple wake even though didn't need to feed at night at this age. as soon as I used the swaddle he slept through and did so consistently from 5.5 to 8 months. Get biggest size should be fine up until about 7 months unless your baby is large. saved my sanity.

What worked for us:
Keep night dark and quiet. Between 6pm and 6am we don't turn any lights on, and any wakings are treated as night wakings.
Be really boring after bedtime, no more stories, no more playtime, just boring old bed.
White noise can help, we have an old radio playing on static to block out background noise
Pitch black room
Comfort toy in the cot
Put them in the cot awake
Routine routine routine.

Hope it improves soon!

Don't get upset - we've all been there and sleep issues are always present in different forms. I've learnt to be more relaxed about it and a friend said to me early on 'everything is just a phase' which is my mantra! My DD didn't sleep well at all when she was small and would never nap in the cot. We decided to do CC which has mixed responses from Mums on here - all I'd suggest is read the different methods of encouraging your baby to self soothe/settle and try one that you think will suit your baby and family.

Learning to settle themselves is a skill - not many babies do it easily and they have to learn how to settle without getting upset/relying on other things or at least relying on something manageable e.g. cuddle a fave teddy. You need to teach that skill, but in a way that is the least upsetting for you all. Good luck! x