Put Baby down sleepy but awake - HOW???

[Mafiti]

We're trying to crack daytime naps, which DD (10 weeks) will not do unless held, in buggy/sling etc. Even if she's fast asleep in my arms, the second her back touches the Moses basket mattress (after I've done the famous trying-to-put-her-down-without-her-noticing-dance) she wakes up and screams.

When putting her down sleepy but awake, how sleepy are we talking??? I've managed it once or twice by rocking her on my shoulder until her eyelids have drooped a couple of times, but I'm wondering if this is already too asleep? I quite often have to repeat the procedure too, so I'm wondering if I haven't found this magic tired but still awake window that is supposed to help them settle.

We use a dummy as well, by the way. If you've managed to use this technique, what has worked for you?

Put her down asleep, if you can.

Why are you trying to put her down awake anyway?

I vaguely remember that being a thing, but can't recall the point of it.

I always put mine to bed awake . I use music as a soother and they jut get used to it . Have done it to mine from birth so maybe the key. I use a scout bear that plays bedtime music . They associated this with going off to sleep.

It's supposed to help them go to sleep by themselves so you don't have to spend hours rocking/singing/cuddling etc.

I'd suggest waiting about 6 months! But then I fed to sleep for as long as possible - DS1 is a nightmare sleeper, DS2 is pretty good.

Or making sure she has a blanket already around her so you don't go from warm mummy cuddles to cold Moses sheet.

Would you be prepared to leave her on her side is that is how she is in your arms?

Yes, I fed to sleep too.

Mine are all pretty good sleepers.

DD2 was the only one I could put down awake at 10 weeks and she's always just go to sleep (best baby EVAR :o)

IME the most important thing for establishing good sleep habits is sleep.

I'd rock/sing/feed a 10 week old to sleep to establish daytime naps and then worry about getting them down awake later.

Hot water bottle in moses basket to warm it before she goes in helps my DD but tbh I enjoy the sleepy cuddles and know they won't last forever so am making the most of them and let her sleep on me. DD is 4 months now and is beginning to self settle without me doing anything.

Swaddling worked for me with 2 of mine who were unputdownable before.

Mine still acts as if the cot mattress is on fire at 19 months.

Mine managed this for the first time a few weeks ago - he's 14 months old! Before that there would be many, many tears if I ever tried. And it doesn't even work every time now.

Agree with the tight swaddle and singing the same tune. When I start singing ds Gets sleepy. I change up the words so I don't go crazy. I also put a heavy blanket on him.

Swaddling is great. Think maybe by 10 weeks you are supposed to only swaddle under the arms.

But can't swear to that.

Hum. We swaddle at night, full swaddle otherwise she wouldn't sleep at all! She can still move her legs though, we just need her arms tucked in to stop her startling every few seconds. I was hoping if I could get her to settle during the day then she'd have a concept of going to sleep when we have to stop swaddling, which I know we can't do too much longer. I figured I needed to make sure she got the "right" amount of sleep during the day to help her sleep at night. If she only sleeps on me, she tends to go for hours and hours which is too much??? Are my expectations unrealistic? I can't shake the feeling that literally letting her do what she wants is me shirking my responsibilities. It's my job to gently show her how the world works, no?

Ah 'put them down sleepy but awake'. Filed in my mind under 'most unrealistic advice ever received'.

You will hear from people who found this worked marvellously. I envy them. They had babies who took to it. With mine, it would basically have been CC on a tiny baby.

For now, I would concentrate on everyone getting as much sleep as possible, preferably mostly at night!

You can swaddle longer if it's working for you and LO. I went through a moment (at about 3 months) of thinking I simply had to get DS into a grobag or else... or else... what exactly? Oh yeah cos SIL made the inquiry "is DS in a grobag yet?" He hated it though as his startle reflex was very strong.

Did some research online and found that it doesn't really matter as long as you're not binding them Egyptian mummy style.

He is 7 months old now and still enjoys a loose swaddle at nap times (that is how we achieve 45+ mins). Still enjoys a medium strength swaddle at night. We use a mega size muslin as first layer and then get creative with folding a small cellular blanket as outer layer. Hopefully when warmer weather rolls around he won't be so bothered.

Hi. LO is 17 weeks and is swaddled for sleep times with a soft blanket. He'd never settle otherwise as he is always pulling his dummy out and eating his hands. From what i was told and it worked was that at 10 weeks old a baby can't tolerate being awake much longer then 1hr 15mins, so I used to lay baby down ready for nap an hour after he last woke, knowing he was nearly ready for sleeping and still calm and happy. Swaddle him, play white noise (always helped us with day naps but not used at night) and some times a light toy to gaze at till he drops off. This generally works, although we still get it wrong at times and he will cry but after a few going in and pat and Shuss or a cuddle and put back down he will go off. If he's overtired at can go on for a while but I've learnt his times and cues now. Hope this helps.

I would say, don't bother trying to do sleepy but awake at this stage.

i would focus instead on putting in place sleep associations, so eg always sing the same song while getting DC to sleep, use a sleeping bag, have a bedtime routine etc. these sleep associations will not be enough to get your Dd to self settle at this age - you will still need to rock/feed to sleep for a while (unless you have a miracle baby). but they will really help her self settle once she is older (3/4 months maybe), the idea is that at that point you can stop doing the rocking/feeding to sleep but the other sleep associations will still be there and so she will still know it is sleep time.

Thank you everyone. It's good to keep hearing the different experiences people have. Obviously I hope it will work for us but if it doesn't, I'll know I'm not alone. Really must stop looking for the magic wand... :-)