Really struggling

[stargirl1701]

DD has been continuously screaming for 3 hours tonight since 2am. Previous to this, she has woken every 40 min since bedtime at 7pm.

We have no idea how to help her. She is 6 months. She has been like this since day 1. She has silent reflux & eczema.

It just feels like like there is no hope of things ever improving tonight. This isn't what I thought life with a baby would be like.

It's like torture innit? Have you tried walking her in pram around the house/road? (I'm sure you have but screaming babies make me leap to attention)

Yes. We have tried everything except CC and CIO.

I don't know what CIO is. It will improve though, I didn't see any kids in reception still wailing. Much.

Someone helpful will be along soon x

How are you? hope you managed to get aome sleep Is she ff or bf?

She's got silent reflux and excema - that's why she like this. Do not use cc or CIO please.

Have you got medication? Cream?

Have you cut out foods which could trigger the reflux? Have you ruled out tongue tie? Does she have a dummy?

She snuggled in at 6am and fell asleep till 7.30am.

She is ff. She has hydrocortisone and Epaderm for her eczema. She has Ranitidine for her silent reflux. I 'be been told to avoid citrus fruit & tomatoes in her diet. We are doing BLW as she won't be fed from a spoon. I think she thinks it's a syringe. HV thinks she has CMPI. GP says no. We see a consultant paediatrician tomorrow...we've been waiting a long time for this appt.

We're not doing CC or CIO. I've written to Bedtime Live on C4 and Prof Tanya Byron at The Times. We've not heard back from either.

She has a dummy.

She has a posterior tongue tie and lip tie. The NHS will not operate as she is not bf.

Has anyone suggested different formula? Hv might be right. Dairy allergy quite common and could be contributing. GP might not be that well informed. No amount of sleep training will help if there's something else going on and she's uncomfortable or in pain. when that's sorted you can try then might have more success.

Have you read The No Cry Sleep Solution? Its got lots of ideas which helped us as I wasn't willing to do CIO or CC - dd was sleeping through within a couple of weeks of starting a mix of the routines in the book. Reflux is a nightmare, my dd was on domperidone, ranitidine and baby gaviscon at one point, not sure if any of it really helped, but she grew out of it around 7/8 months. But as ellan says, sleep training won't help if she's in pain.

I remember the nights when DD was up from 2am for 3 hours... My dh booked me a night in a hotel one weekend and forced me to go (I was really reluctant!!) but he asked a friend to go with me and we did have a lovely time in the end. One good night's sleep after months of exhaustion really helped.

Good luck with the consulant tomorrow. My advice is to make a list today of everything you want to talk about so you don't get distracted and forget something. And don't get fobbed off either!

Yes to the different formula! Can you see another GP?

I would be pushing hard - male a diary of night wakings, film her if need be. Do some research and present it to the GP - sometimes they actually don't know stuff like this.

Yes to NCSS. We've been trying ideas from it since 4 months.

We tried SMA Staydown for Reflux. It sorted out the vomiting but made her very constipated so we had to give Lactulose too.

I don't know the best approach with the paeds doc. Burst into tears (not hard at the mo) or be really professional? How do we get our desperation to come through?

Tbh sleep training won't work until you tackle the silent reflux. Both of mine have had it.

With the paediatrician, make a list of the issues. Make a note of how often she is unsettled. Also explain the impact on you and her. Ask them how they can rule out dairy intolerance which is common with silent reflux. So if you get upset, you dont come across as being just overly emotional - you have the information to back up what you're saying. Don't be afraid to be firm if it looks like going nowhere. Ask if you can trial the formula (you can get hypo allergenic formula which tastes grim but no reason not to try - I know some who've introduced it later, you just mix it with their usual milk to get them used to the taste).

Are you going with someone?

this website is good

My oldest was the same. The silent reflux will get better soon and very quickly. They just grow out of it. Then you will be able to attempt sleep training. We very gently weaned the oldest off all his sleep props one by one. He cried a bit, but far less than he did over the eczema and reflux and another condition he had. He started sleeping through reliably at nine months and has done so for the past five years!

You baby will do the same to her own timetable. In the mean time, call on any help you can. Ask a friend to come and look after her so she can help. Any relatives around who could do a couple of nights?
In terms of the doctor - let them know how you are feeling. If you cry, you cry. I think it is hard for them to tell the babies and parents in real need. There waiting rooms are full of worried mums. You need to make sure you let the doctor know exactly how she is and the impact on you.

Another thing, the oldest has oral aversion - wouldn't let anything near his mouth. Wouldn't take solids until about nine months and went on nursing strike. For some reason he was OK with the ranitidine though! We just offered him food and he took it eventually. Nursery helped as I think he saw the other kids eating and wanted to join in. Again, try not to worry about how much she does or doesn't eat, just keep offering.

OK. DH & I have come up with some ideas for tomorrow.

Issues:
Hours of screaming
Frequent overnight waking
Cat napping during the day
Very pronounced startle reflex waking her up
Highly, intensely clingy all the time
Clear vomit after solids
Very unsettled after solids
Blueness round lips/mouth after solids (present initially when bf feeding as a newborn)
Red welts on face after eating avocado, egg, tomato
Very cold hands
Frequently green foul smelling poo
Gurgly stomach
Posterior tongue tie
Face covered in milk when ff and bf.
Painful farting
Sleep/movement association

Impact:
DD spends a lot of her life crying
DD is frequently inconsolable
DD feeds frequently (2 hourly)
DD struggles with routine (chaotic)

Parents are still living like DD is newborn
Sleeping when baby sleeps
Both exhausted
Mum drugging herself with Night Nurse overnight
Mum dreads taking her to baby groups
Parents can't get any sleep training methods to work

Possible actions:
Investigate intolerance
Trial of hypo formula
Change medication to ompromazle (sp?)
Discuss the dangers of extended use of Calpol
How to deal with rapid deterioration of silent reflux symptoms, e.g. after infection.

Anything else you would suggest?

Bump.

No - that's plenty to be getting on with! A bit worried about you drugging yourself with NN though?
I'd also ask about seeing a dietician who can help with foods that trigger silent reflux. (Although might be much luck but I did find weaning a nightmare and I did have to stick to meat and plain carbs for a while before introducing more exciting foods which was miserable)

Thanks Iggly. The drugging is just once a week on a Sat night so I get one night's sleep a week. I know the NN will knock me out. I'll add dietician referral to the list. Is it worth asking to see a dermatologist for the eczema?

Yes - although if it's diet related it should go. I feel for you and your poor dd! It's hell on earth.

Aye. This not the picture of motherhood I had 6 months ago. I really haven't enjoyed mat leave. I hope we are taken seriously tomorrow. I've got my hopes way too high. I can feel the tension in my body already!

Wow poor you it could well be diet related. My son was like this life was hellish he was dairy intolerant and soy and eggs. Keep a food diary if this has just recently got worse astounding are trying to wean her it makes sense . Dairy free as much as possible . Get the to docs with it all written down . Be strong it will get better soon ! Keep us posted

Don't be fobbed off. Don't leave without getting something - sometimes in these appointments I have a tendency to think I'm over reacting then kick myself once I'm out.

I'm the same. I want to appear rational and reasonable even though I know I am straying from that path due to the stress and sleep deprivation!

Don't be afraid to let it show. Perhaps agree that your DH will do the talking if you get too upset.

I have no advice. I just wanted to say good luck for your appointment and I hope you get sorted soon.