4mo sleep regression- I know again!

[IveBeenGoodSantaIPromise]

God this is awful. Please encourage me it will get better. Dd is 4 calendar months. Almost 18 weeks. At 3 months she was doing 3 hour stints easily and waking 3 times a night to feed and straight back to sleep in cot.

Since 16 weeks she wakes after exactly 40 minutes then wakes every 1-2 hours. She also seems to now hate her cot and keeps waking when I put her down.

I hate cosleeping I just can't do it. She sleeps if she's on me but I don't sleep then.

Her naps in the day are in her pram or sling and are pretty much forced on her!

I am sooooo tired and recovering from nasty mastitis. She is ebf and won't take a bottle. My dh is trying to help as much as he can it just seems like so much more needs to be done by me... :(

I've read tonnes about 4 month sleep regression but seriously how long will it last? It already seems like weeks!!

Different for everyone, I'm afraid, so there's no answer. Some people it lasts a week; with us, it's still going at 7.5 months.

and You do actually start to acclimatise to the exhaustion after a bit. Still a shadow of your former, sparkling self, but the desperation fades slightly

My dd is also 4 months and I would be worried if she only managed 2 hours at a stretch during the night. I think she should be sleeping longer than that and I'd speak to your HV for some advice. To me that sleep pattern is that of a new born and might imply that she's not getting enough milk - are you ebf or ff? The daytime naps are exactly as the same with my dd 40 mins at a push.

Ds is 4.5 months and some nights are definitely worse than other and it can be really draining going back to those up every hour nights of the early days. I have no solution I'm afraid and co-sleeping doesn't work for me either- too scared- how could one live with oneself if something happened.
Anyway ds is mix fed so we do have a better idea of how much he's having so we do try and tank him up at nighttime feeds and make sure he has lots to drink in the day. Do you offer both boobs back and forth? The other trick which occasionally works is not to offer milk every time he wakes. Especially if i know its only an hour since a big feed. Sometimes just shhing or cuddling or even the dummy. This does mean DP and I can share the load a bit and were not up as long. Good luck.

Boggler That's a perfectly normal sleeping pattern for any baby, especially a four month old who is going through a developmental leap - sleep notoriously goes to pot for many (though not all) babies at this age, only in part due to an increased need for feeds. There is no 'should' about when babies sleep through the night - some do it from a few weeks old, some don't do it until after two years of age, but all of that is within a normal spectrum.

Babies sleep cycles are only 45mins and they come into light sleep at 40 mins ish which is why it's common for them to wake then.

We had a terrible time with the 4 month sleep regression. DS barely slept at all from 16-20 weeks. Woke constantly. Ended up reluctantly co-sleeping to get through it. Feeding him to sleep on the bed was the only way I could get him to nap at times.

It improved in its own at 5 months. He went back in his cot & started waking once. All went to pot again at 7 months but that's another thread!

You will get through it

I'm not talking about going through the night but I do think that the op's baby hold sleep for more that an hour or two at night by 4 months.

I remember the 4 month sleep regression and it was horrible! I know everyone says weaning onto solids has nothing to do with it, but when I started weaning DS at 18 weeks on the doctors advice he went back to sleeping through the night instead of waking up starving for milk.

Whether you start weaning or not, you can only go with the flow and just try to catch some sleep whenever you can.

There are no 'should' with babies blogger. Some do, some don't. They are all different. You only have to read the sleep boards to see that!

Here's some more info on sleep and development.

Solids made no difference to DS. Made him wake more of anything trying to digest it.

Boggler My 7mo doesn't do (and rarely has done) more than two hours at a stretch. Normal. Exhausting, but normal. Solids have made no difference whatsoever. He's not hungry, he just hasn't learned to get himself independently through the brief wakings between sleep cycles yet.

Thanks so much for the replies. Sounds like it is normal then. boggler I have spoken to my HV and she helpfully said its a phase and try not feeding and let her self settle. Not a bloody chance,if I don't pick her up she builds up very quickly screaming but if I take her into bed and offer boob she is calm instantly. She likes the comfort of boob as well as for food so I'm not convinced she's waking to eat. She goes back to sleep very quickly on me but wakes on returning to cot :(

seriouslysleepdeprived I'm not keen on the idea of weaning early ad there are loads of allergies in the family and as I said I don't think it is about food. What you said about sleep cycles makes sense. I think she stirs at 40 mins always but sometimes makes it through and others not. ;/

elphaba it sounds like you are having a horrid time with sleep I've see you on another thread about monster long cluster feeds I think. Thankyiu for the support. I guess it's just plough on and hope she sleeps better soon!! As I hope your dc does soon!

Oops sorry spelling horrible silly IPhone. 1 handed with munching baby as usual!

Oh, God. I'm notorious. Time for a name change and take up shit-stirring on AIBU maybe...