please help - my 21 month old will not sleep

[castlerock]

Hi there,

Would just be welcome for any advice as I think I am going round the bend. My 21 one year old daughter will not go to bed anymore. Up until recently I was able to put her down at 7.30 / 8 at the very latest and she would sleep through till 7am - perfect. Now I am lucky to get her to bed by 10pm and only if she has fallen asleep with me. She sleeps late but that isn't ideal.

I have changed her cotbed into a bed but that has not worked and if I'm honest it has made it harder as I can't do controlled crying.

I try to keep to a schedule but I'm on my own with her so it's not easy to do this given all the other stuff I have to do. She only naps for about 45 mins during the day so that doesn't help that much with time.

I am trying to be understanding as we have just moved from Ireland back to London so that I can concentrate on getting my career back but I am desperate to get my evenings back so that I can start focusing on finding a job and just have some me time

I know that it must be a change for her but she seems to have adapted well in other areas and unfortunately (or fortunately in the end) her father never lived with us so it can't be that.

I'm trying to get her out in the park once a day so that she can run around but otherwise I have so much to do with keeping a home that I can't just keep her entertained and active all day.

Any advice welcome.

Sounds like she's just a bit stressed about the move and maybe got in the habit of a late bedtime. You say she sleeps late in the morning - that'll mean shes not tired until 10pm again the following night. You could try waking her up 15 minutes earlier every morning and putting her to bed then 15 minutes later that night and keep moving it earlier every few days until she's back at a bedtime that suits you. Should be gradual enough that it won't add to her stress. Getting her out in lots of sunlight in the mornings should help reset her clock. She might prefer the security of the cot to the cotbed too given the upheaval. I'd give her more time to settle in and get a familiar routine going before going down the controlled crying route. Understand the need to have evenings back but she is still sleeping through a full night from what it sounds like so it could be worse!!

lol @ "21 year old" ... that aside, is she napping in the day?

Why is the controlled crying not working? Is she getting up and out of bed? If so, I'd try resetting the boundaries so she knows bed means bed (pick her up and repeatedly place her back) and reset the body clock per the poster above...

Good luck!

Hi OP, I would say it is the disruption which has affected her sleeping. please don't do CC as she obviously needs more security.
With DS who is 25months, we travel a lot and he is not a great sleeper.
I tried Gradual withdrawal and his bedtime routine still takes about 30 mins, but he will now stay upstairs, so i get an evening although we still get a 1am or 3am visit when i put him back in his bed. When he comes in at 6am we tend to relent and let him stay. It's not ideal, but perhaps a gentler approach might work for now as you are her only constant and she needs that reassurance...

I had this problem with my little one! I found routine was what my child needed! Also a story before bed made a difference

We've had similar issues - DD also 21months. We're doing the Supernanny thing - putting her back, putting her back, putting her back ad infinitum until she gives up. Frankly it's both back-breaking and soul-destroying but it does work.

If you need further support speak to your HV and see if they have a related sleep specialist. That's what we've done and the jury's still out but after only 5 nights we've had massive improvements. Long way to go still...