Talk to my about cc

[AnnaLiza]

I'm finally considering it out of desperation really. DS is approachIng 9 months, bf and we co-sleep (if waking up cry 30-45 minutes can be defined a sleeping). On a good night he wakes 4 or 5 times, cries, I put him on the boob and he falls asleep. On a bad night, like last night, he's awake every 30 to 45 minutes. The situation is worse now that he's older as he sits up and tries to go down but bumps into us and so he (and us!) get hurt. We have a super king bed and he's always slept in the middle but somehow there's jut nOt enough space and he also kicks me in the crotch while he feeds.
I have to say that he's our third and the other two went into their cots from day one and slept through just fine from 4 months. I've gone with cosleeping this tIME because it was easier in the early days and I was just too exhausted to get up. What a big mistake that was!
He does nap in his cot in the day but not at night. What do I do? Do I try to night wean him and get him uses to sleeping in his cot at the same time or do I need to work on each issue individually? He's not actually sucking strongly at night and I think it's only for comfort.
Also can someone talk me through the various steps of cc please?
I'm very thankful for any help!

Sorry about all the typos. I'm rubbish at typing on my phone.
I should add that I'm reluctantly considering some form of sleep training not only for our benefit but also for DS. He looks so shattered today .

Anyone please?

HI - well I am doing it right now at 3 am....she has screamed for 30 mins...been in at 5 mins, 10 mins, 15 mins...awful! but had a non sleeper in no 2 and had to use a sleep consultant so not keen to do that again!! I would do it if I was you or you could try one of these sleep consultants...I used Millpond but they are pricey and have since heard of Jo Tantum and Night night nannies who are much cheaper and do it all on email with you...good luck!! hand holding mainly.....

I didn't have the problem of having to evict a co-sleeper, but I did have to hold DS until he was so comatose he didn't know he was being put into his cot. I was getting, maybe, three broken hours of sleep per night so I decided to do a gradual withdrawal which did involve some crying, although not controlled crying, as such (you can read my thread about it here). We had about one week of even slightly less sleep if that's possible but, touch wood, he's consistently going to sleep in his cot now. He is a MUCH happier boy during the day and we haven't had an overtired tantrum in weeks and I'm able to put him down for three or four half-hour sleeps in his pram during the day. He still wakes 2-3 times a night to feed, but he's a bit younger than yours so I'm not ready to drop those yet. However, when I have to bite that bullet, at least I know he'll go to sleep in his cot! HTH.

Hi AnnaLiza. I sympathise-life is crap when you're tired, isn't it.

I wouldn't like to say whether cc is right for you or your child, but here's the method I did.

Put baby down and say goodnight. If they cry, leave the room and set a timer for two minutes. If they're still crying at the end go back in, lie them back down or say night night and leave. Set time for four minutes etc. then 8, 16 and finally 20. Never leave more than 20. We never got further than 16 but it mostly took four or eight.
Hth

Thank you for your messages. Last night I was too tired to give it a try. I know it's a catch 22 type of situation but I just couldn't face it. So instead I evicted DH from the bedroom to see if he slept better with more space. He only woke up 3 times and one time I managed to make him go back to sleep just by patting his back (the other two I nursed him back to sleep). The trouble is I actually slept worse than the night before because I was worried he would move around and fall off the bed even though I had put pillows on his side like a sort I barrier. So I was "on guard" all night and today I'm absolutely shattered .
Having said that I feel a bit better that I have a plan of sorts. I think I'll carry on sleeping with just him for the time being and work on night weaning. Then during the Christmas holidays I'll get DH to train him to go into his cot. He does settle easier with DH the rare few times that he's tried to help during the night.
The thing is, from his point of view, he's been to sleeping with me since he was born and to nurse to sleep every time he woke at night so why should now be any different? I feel like such a tyrant!

Don't know what you're worrying about in terms of CC, I did it at much much younger and it worked quickly. It's a good way of breaking bad habits. They won't remember and when they're grown up and ask about it for their own kids you can say (if you still feel bad by then) 'well it sounds like very modern thinking and I'd never have done it with you!' (or the sort of other 'knowledgable' stuff that mums and MILS come out with!!