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Original poster

A diary of using Controlled Crying...

118 replies

Hulababy · 02/01/2004 10:03

After some recent sleep problems we have had to resort to controlled crying with our 20mo DD. Having always been anti CC when she was little and favouring co-sleepin it is a difficult but, I feel, a necessary thing now. THought I'd keep a kind of diary or record of how it goes so others wanting to try it can see how it works (or not) for us. If nothing else I coan always print it out to show DD when she is a teenager

This first post may be rather long (sorry).

Background

DD was born in April 2002, 2 weeks late. Even in hospital she slept with me in bed and didn't like being in the hospital crib. When we got her home she had an instant dislike to the rocking crib and she spent the first 2 weeks sleeping in my bed. At 2 weeks she got a bedside cot and things were much btter from her point of view. At 6 weeks she started sleeping through in her cot from midnight to 6am, increasing this time till she was 16 weeks. We then broke her routine by going on holiday and from then on spent part of everynight sharing with me and DH. She would always settle herself to sleep on going to bed originally though but struggled when she woke later. At 15 months we moved house and DD had her own room for the first time. After a shaky couple of days she was able to go to sleep on her own again, but still came in with us during the early hours, after waking herself up hitting the cot bars.. At 18 months she went into a toddler bed. Again - same routine prevailed.

Recent Problems

This Christmas holidays she has had lots of breaks in any form of routine and then got a very heavy cold. Her cough was waking her up every hour or so and he really struggled for a few days. AS a result DH and I brought her in with us pretty much all of the night so we could at least get some rest and not be in and out of bed al night. Trouble is once she improved and we tried to put her back in her own bed problems have begun big style. She will not settles at night at all - getting out of bed, coming to the gate and crying and screaming. THis is happening whenever she wakes as well which can be 3 or 4 times a night.

OP posts:
popsycal · 05/01/2004 16:20

i thought that i might try
need to get dh on side....
'pick up put down' is working to an extent but not during night if he is unsettled
he is sometimes bad at going to sleep in his cot although lying on the spare bed he will settle himself to sleep quickly - i just sit in the room
oh i dont know

dinosaur · 05/01/2004 16:22

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

popsycal · 05/01/2004 16:23

i know - you have to be totally committed to it don't you

dinosaur · 05/01/2004 16:23

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

popsycal · 05/01/2004 16:24

i haven't - i have just heard about the method from afew friends, and of course on mumsnet
everyone i know who has treid it swears by it

Original poster
Hulababy · 05/01/2004 16:26

Popsy - if he will settle on the bed but not in his cot, have you thought about moving him into a bed at all?

OP posts:
popsycal · 05/01/2004 16:30

yes i have.
me and dh have talked about it loads this weekend
but then we have this quandry....
the room is tiny - the cot fits just and if we got a longer bed then the wardrobe wold have to go
we have looked and several extendable beds....nice one in mothercare that we like
however, wouldn't it defeat the object - getting a bed that is the exact same size as his cot?
his cot is a bedside cot so the side comes totally down....so that is a possibility
however - thought we may need a rail to stop him falling out.....then would have to damage cot and screw it in
what are your thoughts?

Original poster
Hulababy · 05/01/2004 16:33

DD had a bedside cot too and we did try it with the side down and a rail. The rail didn't stay in place though if DD stood up and leant on it. She fell out twice and it is still quite high. DD's room isn't big, especially with all the toys, so we got a toddler bed - £50 from Mothercare. It should ;ast her 'till she is 5 or 6 though as it is 5 foot long, same length as a cot bed.

DD much prefers it. She used to hate the cot bars and often hit them and woke herself up. When we first ut her in it it was great and she loved it; we let her choose a lovely quilt for it and it became her "big bed". We have had a few problems recently with her getting out but, with this CC, we have solved that anyway now.

OP posts:
popsycal · 05/01/2004 16:35

might try to settle him in cot tonight with the rail down.....just as a test!

elena2 · 05/01/2004 16:36

Popsycal, as your ds settles ok on the spare bed, what about getting him a toddler bed/converting his cot to bed? At 17 months he is quite young but with a bed guard on the side he would be ok.
Some children just aren't keen on being 'caged in' in their cot, I know a friend of mine didn't get much sleep with her little one until she put him on a futon at 9 months, but from then on he slept like a dream. Just never liked his cot.

We had to put ds1 in a cot bed at 19 months as he could climb otu of his cot, and we were scared of him hurting himself. It was really difficult for about a week, having to continuously put him back in bed when he got out, but after that first week he was fantastic.

elena2 · 05/01/2004 16:36

Graet minds! By the time I'd typed this post someone had already suggested the same thing!

popsycal · 05/01/2004 16:38

i will try settling him with the side donw tonight then pulling it up after he is asleep
we need a stair gate on the top of the stairs aswell as the bottom before i let him have it down all night"

popsycal · 05/01/2004 16:39

van you get a safety rail for the cot that is perhaps detatchable and will not damage the cot (with the side down of course?)

Original poster
Hulababy · 05/01/2004 16:39

DD was 18 months when we put her in the bed Popsy.

If you put the side down, try and put some pillows or cushions on the floor just in case he does fall out, then it'll be a soft landing. We forgot to the first night

OP posts:
popsycal · 05/01/2004 16:39

my typing is getting worse all the time!

elena2 · 05/01/2004 16:40

BTW, the rail we got is a wooden Winnie the Pooh one by Tomy, and it doesn't screw in, just sort of fits under and around the matress. It is really secure though, as dh made sure it was a really tight fit within the frame of the cot bed.

Original poster
Hulababy · 05/01/2004 16:40

We cot a material rail (like the Tomy one but from Babies R Us). It did slip though; doesn't on the bed at all. Not sure why.

OP posts:
LIZS · 05/01/2004 16:42

popsycal

We've had dd in her cot without the dropside for about a week (same principle as bedside cot with side slid under) and she has now, after a few problems, settled to sleeping in it well. If she does roll she seems to slither off rather than fall, we found her half on/half off once but still asleep. We have a spare duvet by the side just in case.

hth

popsycal · 05/01/2004 16:43

are these the rails you mean?

popsycal · 05/01/2004 16:43

thanks liz too!

elena2 · 05/01/2004 16:44

Yeah, that's the one, the Winnie the Pooh one at the bottom. I liked it cos it blended in with his wooden cot more.

elena2 · 05/01/2004 16:47

Forgot to mention though, if you're going to put it on your cot rather than a bed, dh had to drill additional holes so it would reduce down narrow enough to fit in ds's cot bed.

popsycal · 05/01/2004 19:46

oh.my.god!
half an hour ago i was about to post o here in floods of tears sayng that i simply couldnt do controlled crying for a moment longer!!
but he has done itQ!!!!!!!
wow!
i thikn i did a kind of version of controlled crying....a more flexible version....
but he is asleep in his cot
all by himslef!!! ;

Original poster
Hulababy · 05/01/2004 19:53

Well done Popsy. It is really hard to start with but it does get better. Just read my earlier posts below - 3 nights later, no crying and no she is sleeping through. Well done again, it will benefit him in the end.

I have to wake DD up at 6:30am for nursery tomorrow. Not sure how that will affect her new routine!

OP posts:
popsycal · 05/01/2004 19:54

i ahve to wake ds at 6:45 - well thats a laugh actually - he will be awake!!!