Safe co-sleeping advice please?

[JimbosJetSet]

I co slept with DC1 and I am now co sleeping with newborn DC2. I thought it was all going fine until I read a recent thread about wether co sleeping was a age thing to do or not. The general theme seemed to be it was a good thing to do as long as it was done safely. But I have questions about a couple of the safe sleeping advice given-

Baby should sleep next to the breastfeeding mother, not the father - how does this work if you are swapping the boob you are feeding from during the night? For 50% of the time DC is sleeping between me and DH - is this wrong?

The baby shouldn't be near pillows/duvets - how do you work this one? Do you get rid of all the pillows and blankets on the bed? Or can someone give me a good technique to use about how to place the baby in the bed please?

Thank you!

Sorry 1 more question too - why might a baby overheat under a duvet? I thought the rule of thumb was they needed one extra layer than us - so if I'm just right under the duvet, then surely the baby won't be too warm under the same duvet in a baby grow?

I coslept with DD just like you- baby in between DH and myself. I always find it easier to sleep on my left, so when it came to switching boobs, I just twisted a little bit to the right. DD was happy and didn't find it difficult in the least. I was supporting her back and her whole body was facing me, not just twisting her neck to reach the other boob, IYSWIM.

Didn't use pillows for myself or baby. I used a duvet, but just scrunched it down to baby's feet, so she didn't overheat. Not sure about the whys and wherefores of duvet usage, but it just didn't feel right, using it for a newborn. Vest, sleeping suit (all in one? Lord, I am out of touch!) and a fluffy blanket. Seemed to do the trick... Keep trying positions, you will find one that is comfortable and safe for both of you.

Many thanks Snow, that has answered some of my questions

Duvets would cause them to overheat if they ended up over their heads.

I wrap my bedding around my legs & give baby her own bedding in my bed (grobag or cellular blankets)

I'll sometimeS put her between me & dh to feed - but then flip her back when I sleep. Fiddle on my iPhone to stay awake

We take all the pillows off if DS is in bed with us. DS in a grobag and the duvet not near him - I have it to my waist and wear a cardigan!

Def recommend a grobag and a thermometer - even those free ones on a card - so baby is dressed for temp (16 degrees = long sleeved vest, sleep suit and grobag, 18= long sleeved vest, long sleeved t shirt and grobag, 20= long sleeved vest and grobag) - then wrap quilt around your legs or try a sleeping bag for you and give quilt to your DH. But seriously please look it up and try a thermometer - am constantly shocked that the room is offically too hot for baby when it feels too cool to me.

X

Duvet will overheat because it is also the combined body heat of parents underneath as well.

A duvet isn't a 'layer' either. It is many layers depending on tog rating.

We co-slept from about three months onwards, and baby was on top of duvet with her gro-bag.

Baby will let you know if they are cold, but not if they are overheating.

Marzipan - how did baby on top of quilt work out? Am hating sleeping bag and quilt to waist - hadn't thought of baby on top....if baby snuggled up to you in night did they not get quilt in their face - my DD wriggles up to me in night. (My) Sleeping bag driving me nuts. Is it not an extra layer underneath though ...suppose as long as not over them.

X

Hi

Sorry ages for reply!

I'm trying to remember. I co-slept from about three/four months onwards so I think perhaps they are not so vulnerable at that age, she could hold her head up etc.

I put the quilt over me and lay my DD in between, higher up than me with her sleeping bag on her. I would wrap my arm around so duvet tended to be under my arms. No pillows either.

She would sleep on her back and even if she did snuggle up to me, it was more into my face/shoulder. Thing is, whenever she moved I would wake and check her periodically. You start sleeping really lightly.

We have been co-sleeping accidental really as he hated the moses basket. The best thing I bought was a cosleeping cot, I managed to get a cheap second hand one on Ebay and it's fab. When I've been staying at parents without it I've put him in gro bag and on top of the duvet and just made sure the pillows are nowhere near him.