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Nothing works with my 10mo old DS-- Please Help!

67 replies

IHeartCake · 09/10/2012 10:50

My DS is the most wonderful sweet little boy in the entire world all day but he is a total terror all night. He regularly wakes 5-8x a night at 10mo old. We have NEVER had that one magical night where he slept through. Nope. The BEST we have ever had was ONCE when he woke 3xs. Bliss.

We have tried everything. CC. GW. Going with the Flow, etc. He doesn't seem to respond to anything and will just keep waking up night after night and crying for hours. If I am there or if I am not.
My DH and I are on our knees.

What I'd like to know is there anyone else out there like this? What did you do/ are you doing?

And 2, did anyone's else's baby just get better. Not if there were already pretty good (i.e. waking 3 xs a night) but if they were as awful as mine and poof one day they just got better. Please someone tell me there is light at the end of the tunnel.
And this is my 2nd kid! I thought I had it all figured out. HA!

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GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 13/10/2012 08:40

I just don't know why she's waking as often she'll refuse the bottle.

It's nearly 1am and we're both up watching Family Guy (bad mummy) because DH woke her up in the midst of resettling and she is wide bloody awake.

Make. It. Stop.

How is everyone else getting on? Anyone trying anything new to fix this?

tholeon · 13/10/2012 17:08

Not great. Bed at seven, up at eleven ish for forty five minutes or so. Then at four am, for two hours, then decided she was tired and back to bed at six, just as my son woke up... Feel ok today though having gone to bed at eight myself. Just means no grown up time..

Will see how we go. Might do the sitting by her cot while she cries thing one day, but will need to be the right moment..

GeeandTee · 13/10/2012 21:35

Hey there, well we have now had a couple of good nights. She's woken a few times until midnight/1am and then slept through until 6.45am with a couple of low key grizzling sessions where she's gone back to sleep by herself. Haven't done anything differently so no idea why she's stopped hourly (or more) wakings all of a sudden, just hope it lasts!

She has now conquered crawling, pulling up and is starting to cruise, also just cut two teeth, so maybe it has just been a culmination of all those things? Just hope it lasts! Will let you know...

stinkymice · 13/10/2012 21:51

HV full of crap! My DS is 11 now and would NEVER crawl into our bed at night. He was a terrible sleeper as a baby, and yes they do grow out of it.
One thing we did do which worked for us and might for your DD. When he was about 3 and I was pregnant, it got to the point when I really needed him to stop getting into our bed.
We made up a little bed on the floor of our bedroom for him. Made it really snuggly, next to me so I could hold hands with him. He loved it and happily came into our room but straight to his bed. Helped alot when trying to stay dry at night too having another bed ready made.

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 14/10/2012 07:57

GeeAndTee that's brilliant, hope she keeps it up!

ThursdayNextIsMyHero · 14/10/2012 08:22

We had the same thing. Ds2 wasn't a great sleeper before six months, but after that it went downhill. He was waking up around 6 times a night, as soon as he got a bf, he'd go back to sleep. First, we cut out the nightfeeds over the space of a week (he was nine months at the time, and eating well during the day). We changed his bedtime routine to be a bit more definite (bath every night now, etc.) and used the Andrea Grace book. There was a thread about her methods a couple of weeks ago. He is now sleeping through (about 7, the time alters depending on how much of a bf he has, until 6), and has done for about three weeks now. Some nights it takes a while to get him to sleep (last night was horrible, and it took an hour), and occasionally he'll wake up a bit earlier, but he'll stay in his cot until 6.

Before this worked, I had tried pick-up, put-down, but that didn't work for us.

I hope you find your solution soon, it is horrible while it lasts.

GeeandTee · 14/10/2012 10:03

Hmmm, another night of hourly wake-ups, then slept 3am - 7.30am. Seems like it hasn't ended yet!

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 14/10/2012 15:07

But maybe a step closer? DD actually slept from bedtime til 5am but I woke CONSTANTLY because I'm so used to it, every little noise she made woke me up.

Because of just getting 3hours broken sleep night before last, I think I'm now the most tired I have been in DD's life Sad

ElphabaTheGreen · 15/10/2012 11:02

I've been informed a few times now that wakefulness in a baby is a sign of intelligence. Well, I'm delighted that I, and others here, are the mothers of future geniuses, but right now I'd swap a few IQ points for a stretch of sleep longer than 2 hours. Does such a scheme exist? Tesco?

IHeartCake · 16/10/2012 10:52

:) Sure, all future rocket scientists. They better be! All this trouble now. It's just so unfair to have TWO bad sleepers. Everyone told me the 2nd one would be all chilled out. WELL at least he is the sweetest smiliest giggliest little boy in the world. God I love him!!

So ok. The nights are still terrible but I'm being proactive. I've evicted poor DD from her bedroom and put the side back up on her bed. I've moved DS in there. He was a bit freaked out falling asleep Sun night so I stayed with him till he fell asleep. He woke a LOT. Like 6x maybe, 2 of which he was awake for over an hour but he was OK. I only fed him at 10, 1:30, and 4:30.

I've settled on a combo of night weaning and GW. I'm going to spend 3 nights (2 done already) rubbing his back, then just sitting there, then moving away whilst reducing his 3 night feeds by 30 secs each night. So this time next week, I should be at his door w/ no feeds. OOH! We'll see! I'm really worried about a 5am start but it's time to tackle this. Unfortunately, he starts settling into nursery next Tues so poor little thing has a lot to handle all at once.

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GeeandTee · 17/10/2012 07:20

Just to update, she's slept through the last 3 nights except for one wake-up last night!! Not done anything differently.

Weirdly, it has totally messed up her daytime napping though, she seems to want to drop her morning nap then takes to go down for her post-lunch nap and is very wakeful.

sleepymum50 · 17/10/2012 07:48

Have you tried swaddling? Thats wrapping them up (just like the baby jesus)

Iloverobinhood · 17/10/2012 08:09

My 9 month dd has never been a very good sleeper including wide awake bouts of at least one hour in the middle of the night. She's a lively girl, into everything so I just assumed that she was having another regression and her little mind just can't relax enough to sleep. Anyway someone suggested I look at her diet - she absolutely loves any types of fruit and her diet is probably a bit fruit heavy tbh. I've cut out the fruit at tea time and give her a small bowl of porridge/ weetabix for pudding and I don't know if it is coincidence but on those nights she has slept so much better. I forgot one evening and on that night she was back to usual antics. May not help but thought any suggestions helpful when you're exhausted. Good luck.

spartacusflapjack · 17/10/2012 14:25

Our nearly 10mo twins have started the multiple night wakings too and, like you all, I am utterly exhausted. And completely baffled by it. They started going through at about 5 months and slept 12 hours until 8 months then it all started to go wrong when they were poorly a couple of months back.
I wish I knew what the answer was. I try to console myself that in time things will sort themselves out.
One thing that works some of the time is creeping in an putting white noise on the cd player in their room. The slumberbear does a similar job without me having to get out of bed as it is activated by a cry.
Might be worth a try if you haven't already tried it.
x

IHeartCake · 18/10/2012 10:13

yeay GeeandTee! Well done. Maybe she just needs a little more awake time in the am due to being better rested?

Thanks for your suggestions all. I think 10mo is a bit old for swaddling but yes there might be something to not filling them up on sugar, albeit fructose just before bedtime.

I do have a white noise maker activated by cry but haven't used it since DS was really little. Maybe I'll give it another go.

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GeeandTee · 18/10/2012 14:30

4 nights now! And she's definitely dropped her morning nap now, but sleeps a bit longer after lunch now. No idea what happened. But take hope ladies!

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 18/10/2012 15:50

GeeandTee that's brilliant, you must feel amazing!!

DD hasn't been swaddled since she was 4months, she fights it like a banshee. She always has a hearty supper but will double make sure no fructose before bed too.

Bleurhh

GeeandTee · 18/10/2012 21:39

D'you know what? I actually feel horrendous. I think its because I've just had to run on adrenaline and now that I'm actually sleeping I feel like I've just crashed or something. I guess 10 months without proper sleep is going to take a while to recover from! Still feel nervous that it was just a random blip and she'll go back to hourly wakings any day now...

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 19/10/2012 16:44

DD now wakes every night just to play, for hours.

I am dying

IHeartCake · 19/10/2012 19:20

I sympathize. My DS woke 6x last night. 2 of those times he was awake for over an hour. 5:15-6:15 spent in the car seat with me rocking him Confused.

GeeandTee go on. fess up. what is your secret? What did you do?? Envy Envy

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GeeandTee · 19/10/2012 19:45

Girl does she play happily ie can you leave her in her cot while she's awake? At least then you can lie down and rest even if she's keeping you asleep.

Cake seriosuly, nothing different at all. She just changed overnight! Its worrying actually as it means she could go back to hourly waking any time.

IHeartCake · 19/10/2012 20:29

I don't know. She's proven she can do it so there you go! And if you haven't all ready you can cut out night feeds once and for all. You are 90% there. When my DD started sleeping through, a week later she got a tummy bug but it was a blip and we never looked back.
(She's 3 and she creeps into our bed at night!) But nevermind that!!

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GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 20/10/2012 02:44

Maybe I should not feed at all at night?

IHeartCake · 23/10/2012 14:40

Hi Mousey. Sorry. Yes I wanted to say that I started this post saying nothing works. I have subsequently night weaned. Tonight will be the first official night with NO feeds. And combined it with of GW, which changed to CC half way through as He was just not responding. I think this will work. I think the night weaning is key. It is the only way that you can really be totally consistent in your night time responses to the LOs.

It is hard. Poor little thing cried for 1.5hrs last night :( but this is all headed to a good place and I am sure this will work!!

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forevergreek · 23/10/2012 15:01

I would recommend controlled crying. You can leave v small spaces between leaving them. I have done pop in cot, quick reassurance ad leave. 30 seconds on timer on phone, return, reassure ( do not pick up!), leave. Repeat. It can go on for ages the first evening, but having had some bad sleepers as a nanny, the longest this has gone on was exactly 27 mins.

Some people leave a min/2 mins/ 5 mins before returning, so pick what you are happy with. Personally I do 30secs, and if I know the child well and can tell by cries it is subsiding I might change to 1 min gaps.

When stopped I always return, reassure and say goodnight/ kiss when they are calm and ready to sleep as a way of showing that someone will still return even when not screaming

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