High Needs Baby Support Group (thread IV)

[ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged]

Yoohooo! Over here!

The last thread was filling up so I've started us a sparkling new one.

The original thread was to support those of us with babies fitting the following criteria:

1. Feeds frequently daytime
2. Feeds frequently nighttime
3. Needs to be constantly held
4. Wont sleep alone
5. Hates the car seat/pram
6. Short naps

Some of our babies have grown out of some of those now, but we're still here to support each other through the sleepless nights and noisy car journeys and to offer hugs, chocolate and wine to anyone who's struggling.

So if that list sounds familiar then come and join us as we delight in our active, inquisitive, curious and restless babies or toddlers!

Oh dear, I love a Christmas song but not at 4:30am! Hope your colds clear up soon.
I get Ashton and Parsons from Lloyd's pharmacy, but they have only recently come back. Teething is so unfair DS had no teeth until 10 months and now he has 6.
Not a bad night here. DS was up at 11, 1 and 4 but DP did 11 and 1 as I was too tired to get out of bed. I did 4 and then DS slept until 7:30. He seems to have calmed down a little this week. I know it won't last though!

Wewere that sounds awful. Hope you have a quieter day and therefore night tonight. I'm currently pinned to the sofa by a sleeping DS2 as he will only sleep when cuddled during the day. I've decided that for the sake of the nights it's better to sit here cuddling him instead of trying to do housework. Place looks like a bomb's hit mind you. I found a dirty nappy under the hall table the other night. God knows how it got there or how long it had been there!

Joyful just one more question, does dairy include eggs? That might be a really dumb question so sorry in advance! Loads of stuff I've been looking at has dried egg white on the ingredients.

Hello everyone. I have just stumbled across this thread and would love to join you if that's ok? In fact I feel like my entire body just relaxed a little when I scanned your posts - so many things I recognise, and so much lovely warm support here.

I have an 8mth old daughter (lets call her baby pink) who is high needs. She ticks all the boxes - she hates the pushchair, she hates the car seat, always needs rocked or, preferably, fed to sleep, naps are short and erratic, hourly wakings at night ,though sometimes recently a very odd 3-hour stretch (bliss)!

She is also smiley, sociable, adorable and my heart bursts with love for her:) We adapt, don't we...? Slings and co-sleeping have been a godsend, but I do get irritated with the looks of pity or confusion I receive if I mention anything about her high needs to those with apparently textbook babies - i can tell they think I must be doing something very wrong. It would be so nice to be able to chat to you lovely ladies.

Just swinging by on my lunch break from work, will catch up more later!

Sorry there have been some crappy nights for you ladies. Us too. Little man still isn't right. Poor fella is so tearful and hoarse and snotty. It's horrible when they're ill.

Welcome milly :) Make yourself at home. This thread has been a god send for me since DS was tiny.

There's lots of cake too! (sadly only virtual though...).

Welcome Milly. I've only been here a short time and it's a very supportive thread, especially as I don't know anyone in real life with a high needs baby that they'll admit to

That is so sweet! What about the poor reindeer though? I think she should add some carrots to be inclusive.

Good luck tonight everyone.

Hope everyone had decent nights. Better one here, only 2 wakes. Still coughing like crazy though and wakes up with a big crust under his nose and on his top lip (TMI, sorry!).

DH is off to visit his mum today, DS and I are staying home because he's not too well still. Less stressful too if he stays home. Otherwise we have to time our journeys to fit his naps as he's never been the sort of baby to just drop off anywhere. It's cot, car or bust! Unfortunately certain friends/family members don't believe this and are a bit when we have to leave places early so he can have an afternoon sleep. Am guessing they dont believe in the high-need baby either...

I hope you all have good days.

Hurray for only 2 wakes! Hope the nasty cough and cold clear up soon though.

Don't hate me ladies...I'm going away tonight just me and DP. Technically to his Christmas do, but mostly to sleep. My poor mum...

I'm very jealous Little. Sounds heavenly. Hope you have a wonderful time and don't feel guilty about your mum, it's only one night!

I'm having a rotten day so far. Need a bit of hand holding. DH and I had a massive row in front of the kids last night (we never do this) and he's threatening to leave. I'm just in massive melt down. Can't stop crying. Don't know how to fix it. He's just so angry and depressed

Thank you tickle. It is mostly to do with DS2. He says he feels like we're a divorced couple living in the same house. He's sleeping on the sofa bed in the loft because he's an insomniac anyway and having DS2 in bed makes it impossible for him to sleep. He says his life is shit all he does is clean the house and look after a screaming baby. He wouldn't get any help for the anger/depression (I have depression too so I know that's what it is). He doesn't believe in talking to othe people about his problems. He's gone to visit his friend now for the rest of the day so hopefully he'll talk it out with him. I just get doors closed in my face when I try to talk to him.

Oh Natmu I'm so sorry to hear that. How upsetting for you
Hand holding here. Do vent to us.

Thank you Little. I run around like crazy all day trying to make life easy for him and take as much as I can on my own shoulders but it just doesn't seem to help. I think it's that he needs something different from our relationship but I don't know what because he can't/won't tell me.

It all came to a head last night because DSD who is 14 wants to change contact arrangements as life is more comfortable she gets away with murder at her mother's. DH and DSD ended up rowing about it and I tried to build bridges between them and got in the line of fire. Then one thing led to another and we ended up in a full scale row.

He recognises it but doesn't want to seek help. I think he sees it as a sign of weakness to admit to anyone there's a problem. It's like when he has a headache he refuses to take tablets because it's cause is tiredness therefore sleep will cure it.

I spoke to MIL tonight about it and she's usually very supportive but even she is now saying that I'm being too soft with DS2 and that I'm cuddling him too much. She's also convinced that if I started to ff he would sleep longer. All these people saying the same things makes you doubt yourself.

I've got the Fussy Baby Book by Sears and it's been a godsend I just wish everyone else had read it too. So many people look when I start talking about HN babies. I'll have a google of the website thanks Joyful.

Very well said.

Sending hugs to you Natmu

Sleep tight all. My little man has been asleep since 6pm, is still so poorly :( Poor fella couldn't keep his eyes open any longer.

You lot are absolute life savers. Thank you. I hope you all have a good night. First feed of the night done. Going to try and persuade DH back into bed with us...

Thinking of you Natmu, hope it all seems better in the morning.