You know you're tired when...

[onetiredmummy]

Daddy Pig's voice starts sounding sexy lol

Yy to lack of coordination. I keep smacking my shoulder or elbow on doorframes.

You can't remember the journey you've just driven and you couldn't say with any certainty you hadn't run any red lights...

I have just nursed 5 children through the measles. I am beyond exhausted. Yesterday I tried to put on a pair of sunglasses when I was already wearing some. Apparently I phoned my dad to let him know how the dc's were. The next day I phoned my dad to apologise for not phoning the day before, he said I had, I had no recollection of this. I spilt my tea all over my mum's newspaper twice within the space of a minute. This list goes on.......

You don't wash the conditioner off your hair.

You go to put bleach in your glass instead of squash.

I also cannot remember the most basic of words or my children's names.

jaggy yy at eating cereal ..

what were we talking about again?

You thingy your whatsit when really you meant to thingamajig your, whatever, you know ...

Oh and jiggling the trolley in Tesco. Not a baby in the trolley. Just the trolley. Shushing it too. I have also tried to bf dh back to sleep when he was muttering at 3am and I wake up regularly having 'lost' the baby who is still asleep on my chest. And exclaiming about stuff when alone. I sat on a bench today and exclaimed 'ooh look at the big tractor'. There was nobody there. I can admit this. There was a tractor though so all is not lost.

when you drop son off to creche on way to work and in traffic glance in mirror and get such a fright that the seat is empty then realise you just dropped him off. duh!

You try to wipe the kitchen surfaces with a defrosting chicken breast.

(To be fair it was the same sort of colour as my kitchen cloth...)

You put salad cream rather than milk in your tea.

You wonder why the chip and pin machine is not working then the lady tells you to put your card in it first!

You realise that instead of using a baby wipe or make up wipe to freshen up your face in the morning, that you are in fact using a Flash Floor Wipe - not sure it did anything for my complexion to be honest...

You sing along, in an absent minded way, to the CD in the car stereo. And it is only when people look at you oddly when you have stopped at traffic lights that you realise you are singing 'I'm a little teapot' really loudly, and your dc is not in the car. And you can't be arsed to change the CD and just keep singing along anyway.

You intend to drive to work, and somehow end up driving somewhere else on autopilot (and don't spot your mistake for ages because it's all familiar roads, even if they're taking you in the opposite direction from where you should be), and then have to phone work and say 'I'll be 30 minutes late. I set off on time but now I'm in Town A and it will take me a while to get over to Town B and the office....'.

You do that horrible nodding off every time you sit down, the one where you feel like you are falling over and jerk yourself awake every few seconds?

Oh, and you are a bit in love with Justin, and Tree Fu Tom, because both of them have the ability to stick your dc to the spot in fascination meaning you can sleep for 20 minutes or so knowing they will be staring in hypnotised fashion at the TV and not trashing your house while you sleep through it!

You make a cup of tea, then forget where you put it down

My usual one - I laugh and cry at the same time but can't tell you which I am doing

When you pour water into the jug for the coffee machine and switch it on. Then wonder why the jug isn't filled with coffee because you just plonked it on the heating plate, rather than pouring it into the machine.

Oh and DH spent an hour wondering where he had put his , until he found it in the fridge.

When you lose the ability to count out 7 scoops...

After toddler group I drove home with my mobile phone on the roof and without strapping DD in!!

(they both survived... Thank god for reclined car seats and rubber iphone cases!)

you see a runner stretching against a tree and wonder why they're trying to push it over! then start crying for the poor tree!!

You forget to pay for your petrol at the garage and get a telling off (and a request for payment) from the staff next time you go in. And despite all that you do it again 3 weeks later.

When you repeatedly clean your eyeglasses in the morning but just can't see clearly through them. Then realise its because you have forgotten that you have already put your contact lenses in!