You know you're tired when...

[onetiredmummy]

Daddy Pig's voice starts sounding sexy lol

I second leaving the door wide open - did that twice..
Falling asleep reading DD's bedtime story, and only waking up when falling off the chair
Some kind soul giving you one of those key locator things because you can never remember where your keys were.
Using said key locator to attempt to find your shoes, coat and the front door...
Despite having appalling vision, having a moment of panic halfway into a 20-minute drive that you might not have remembered to put your glasses on.

You routinely fall asleep whilst singing your toddler to sleep. He complains that the song isn't right, ie that it stopped.

You routinely cry with tiredness and your 2 y.o. comes to give you a cuddle to make you feel better. He also says 'Mummy go back to sleep' when we wake in the morning (I wish I could!)

DH always used to wake in the middle of the night to find all the lights blazing - I'd dropped off to sleep while bf'ing DS back to sleep yet again.

You carefully manoeuvre baby, bag and pushchair into the lift and forget to close the flat door, finding it wide open when you get back 45minutes later.

You then panic everytime you go out as to whether or not you actually closed and locked the door, so much so that a couple of times you've turned round to go back and check.

You carefully pack everything you might need on a trip out with the baby including water and milk powder. You then forget the bottle.

You pick up DD's from school wearing a dress inside out...............

Yy to subbing words. I just told DS to pick up a water bottle because it was dripping on the toilet. I meant 'living room carpet'.

Some of these are hilarious

Frequently beginning a sentence, forgetting mid-way through what you were talking about.

Being unable to formulate a coherent sentence.

Having no clue about what the person speaking to you has just said.

Falling asleep with one foot on the floor, while getting out of bed, to go and breastfeed the baby, and have to be woken up by DH to complete the task.

Crying while trying to do a treasure hunt that DD has laid out and the clues run upstairs clue follows the downstairs one, repeat x5

And I am sure so many more

When proudly parading your 5 day DS2 down to nursery to pick up DS1 and the other mums all crowd round you to coo and one of them asks you what you called him.... blank .. what the hell did I call him!! but then that is a special kind of tiredness!
Now poor DS2 is a bit older I frequently call him 'the other one' as my brain scrabbles around for his name this wouldnt happen if he slept through therefore it is his own fault

Ah bender not just me then, excellent

When your blink turns into a nap

This could actually happen right now, but i have to go and collect DD

You leave the house on more than one occasion wearing odd shoes, and once with no shoes at all, and it generally takes you till the end of the street to work out what's wrong.
You have perfected the 20 minute lunch break nap, even with a full staff room talking over you.
You leave the keys in the door about once every 6 months, and when you search for e.g. Keys, they suggest the bread bin or the fridge, based on experience.
You phone and leave a message, but have a blank moment when it comes to your phone number. You call back and forget it again, then write it down and have to read it to the answer phone before it goes again. You have had that number for 4 years.

You know you will actually be sick if someone wakes you up AGAIN!

You can hear the bed calling to you. It says 'come and lie on me, just for a second, it'll be so nice. I'm so soft....'.

Oh fourbears you are actually seducing me right now.. I could fall asleep at my desk straight away

You find Raa Raa the lion excessively confrontational.

You start to doze off when the osteopath is doing cruel and painful things to you just because you are lying down.

You forget to complete your post before posting it.

You find a bag of rice in the freezer.

Your face actually hurts.

You just said to yourself the sentence 'DS will be 9 months old on his first birthday.'

You have a mini weep, with real tears, at 345am when you realise DP has cancelled 'Made in Chelsea' 7 mins in to it on the Sky so he could watch something last night which clashed with the recording.

Looking forward to watching Binky and the gang in secret was the only motivation I had to drag myself out of bed for another feed.

Can't even berate him for it as pretend I don't watch it

I am looking through a mag with Cheryl and Kylie in and I fall asleep out of sheer boredom

You cut and peel potatoes, place in pan of water then add cheese? Cheese and potato pie the tired way!!!

DS fell asleep in the back of the car this afternoon with a sandwich dangling out of his mouth. It stayed there for 30 miles.

Someone says "What's your baby called?"

"Charlie" said I.

He's not. He's called George.

Embarrassing.

You thank the cashpoint for dispensing you a tenner. And when the queue behind begins to snigger, you wonder why...

You fantasise about having an accident and spending a week in hospital.

You return home after day out visiting a friend and realise that you left the front door wide open for the entire 7 hours.

Drive 20 minutes to ballet and then realise you've forgotten the ballet kit and the child. Did this last week.

You wake up because you are sitting up in bed in the small hours breastfeeding and when you nodded off, your head fell back and banged on the wall behind the bed.

Or you are asleep on the sofa by 7.15, 10 minutes after getting home from work.