5 year old with nightmares - any tips?

[tonton]

dd is 5 and has been having nightmares for about 3 years. I's very ditressing the first tinme anyone sees her like this - she is quite hysterical and though she is awake enough to call for us or to attract out attention (through screaming) she still 'sees things' in the room and often doesn't calm down for 20 minutes or more. My apporach has been to sit with her maybe on my lap and try to keep in her line of sight and just talk gently and reassuringly to her, telling her 'I'm here' and 'it's over now'. I used to always turn on the light to try and wake her more quickly but I'm not doing that so muhc now. Any thohgts/experiences?

Hi Tonton. You posted this a while ago so don't know if you'll see this answer. Are you sure she wakes up? Does she remember any of it in the morning?

Hello Tonton. Have just read your message, I know it's a while ago but wanted to let you know about my experience - hope you see it!

My 4 month old has recently had cranial osteopathy because she has been a really awful crying baby since she was 3 weeks old. Apparently she was 'emotionally stuck at her birth'. The cranial osteopath said she's helped her move on from her birth. I know it sounds like a load of tosh, but she is no longer a crying baby after that session! It was distressing to have her treated - she screamed and fought for a long time, but she's much better for it.

Anyway, my point is that when I asked what would have happened if we hadn't had the treatment, the osteopath said it would have manifest itself as night terrors ... I wonder if it might be worth you having your daughter assessed? It might not be the same thing, but you try anything don't you?!

Yep, sounds very familiar. My DS had exactly what you describe - it's called night terrors. Child wakes, crying, screaming (my DS tried to climb his bedroom wall!) they don't know you're there and can continue to call for you. Very, very frustrating! I reacted in lots of different ways but the only thing that worked was continued comfort, cuddles if allowed, calm voice. My DS would often shrug me off, or try to kick me away so I couldn't give any comfort. In the end, I learned to sit calmly on the side of the bed, as close as I could get to DS, and talk in a soft reassuring voice saying the same things over and over again. things like 'you're safe now, mummy's here' or 'it was just a bad dream and it's all gone away, it's ok you can go back to sleep now'. Night terrors are supposed to be more common in boys but that doesn't mean girls can't suffer with them. Also, there is a heriditary link - aparantly both my DH and myself were lousy sleepers as children. My DS is 6 now and sleeps like a log, every night! So it does go away.

Yep, night terrors. ds1 had them from about 2 years old. Disturbing for parents until you get used to them, but at least night terrors aren't remembered. In fact ds didn't believe he had them. Gentle talking (only a dream, soon be over) kept him in touch with reality while it was going on. Didn't want cuddles as I became the monster or whatever in his dream. Dream isn't the best word to use btw, as they take place in deep sleep unlike nightmares which are in the shallow sleep.

As a teenager he began to remember them and work out what was happening while it was happening, so was more in control but would still come to me for comfort. He is now at uni and manages to deal with them himself, though they are very rare now.