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Original poster

Controlled Crying

16 replies

LittleMunch · 05/01/2006 20:09

What's controlled crying? I've heard the term a few times now but not sure what's involved, how to do it, if it works etc Does anyone out there know the answer?

OP posts:
Yummymummy24 · 05/01/2006 20:24

controlled crying is when you leave them to cry basically. it does work but i'm too soft to do it. you leave them for 10mins then go in to check but don't speak or make eye contact. it only takes a week if you stick to it then they sleep through. good luck xx

Tipex · 05/01/2006 20:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Yummymummy24 · 05/01/2006 20:28

yes 8week is far to young they dont recommend it till 6months. are you breast feeding?

yingers74 · 05/01/2006 20:48

Little - if your baby is only 8 weeks then it is a bit too early but you asked what it was and whether it worked so here goes......

basically with cc you put your baby down to sleep as normal, when she starts crying you leave her for say 5 mins, you go in & check on her and reassure her then you leave, you now wait 10 mins if she starts to cry, go in check her, then 15 mins. You stick with 15 mins for the rest of the night.

the next night you do 10, 15, 20
the third night you do 15, 20, 25
and so on

This is what I remember from reading Dr Ferber's book.

I did cc with my dd1 when she was about 18 months, she was a great sleeper and then she experienced fireworks and 2 weeks of us sleeping on her floor followed!!! It only took 3 nights but it was very stressful listening to her cry and not being able to pick her up so I would advise do it as a last resort only!

poppiesinaline · 06/01/2006 11:17

And you need a will of steel to do it! But if you can do then its brill and will normally work within 3 nights. HOWEVER, from personal experience I can say that it does not work with every baby. Worked a treat with baby No 1 but did not work at all with baby No 2.

Yummymummy24 · 06/01/2006 23:03

I've been trying it with my ds of 7mnths. It is sort of working but i only do a gentle version; leave him for about 5min then put dummy in. Repeat this but if he's still going on and on i get him in my bed lol. Pathetic i know but he's sooooo cute.

Sadeyedladyofthelowlands · 06/01/2006 23:48

I have new trouble with dd 7.5 months. She's never cried and always slept thru the night but is now teething and waking every hour. I always lift her and cuddle her but am terrofied of teaching her that crying gets her attention / cuddled etc. Obviously I will comfort her while she is in pain but does anyone have any pearls of wisdom on how to prevent her becoming dependant on my comfort in the night if she wakes? Is controled crying an option once teething is over?

colditz · 06/01/2006 23:53

i don't think it is a bad thing for a baby to learn that crying gets them attention, I think crying is supposed to get them attention. I think the point is to make it not worth the effort just for your mere presence.

If you are Boring Mummy when you do go in, they will probably not bother eventually, unless they need you there.

One of my acquantances once boasted she had "sleep trained" her one year old so well, he didn't cry when he had thrown up all over himself, he just lay awake all night

Sadeyedladyofthelowlands · 07/01/2006 00:12

Wouldn't boast about that!!

At the mo dd just wants to be held. When I pick her up she falls asleep in seconds on my shoulder and I can put her down again quite quickly. Wouldn't mind a bit only it's happening about 10 times a night... I'm not used to her crying as she never has, not even when she was tiny.

Seona1973 · 07/01/2006 12:47

SELOTL, do you give pain killers/put teething gel on your lo before bedtime? I always found childrens nurofen to work best and for longer - might ease your lo's pain a bit and let her sleep a bit longer

Yummymummy24 · 07/01/2006 20:32

Been thinkin about this a lot and today i realised that if you listen to the cry you get a good idea of whether they're taking the mickey or not. I tend to ignore the whinge cry and attend the pain cry. Since i've been doing a bit of cc ds has improved at night maybe only got up twice last night compared to 6 ish.

Sadeyedladyofthelowlands · 08/01/2006 19:04

One of DD's teeth is through and she's less cross in the daytime but still waking every hour, not with a, "in pain" cry but with a "where's my mum" cry... She just wants physical contact with me to get back to sleep and it's happening 5-6 times a night, never had this before teething. Am so upset.

Yummymummy24 · 09/01/2006 20:24

Yeah thats what mine does. Did you bf? I think they do it more if you do, mine will go back to sleep if i stroke his hair, give him a dummy or hold his hand. Loves coming in my bed! Readind post few days ago lovely lady with (3yr old i think)still in bed so i think its perfectly fine. I do try not to though but sometimes i'm soooo tired i just let him in. Do you get chance to sleep during the day?

Sadeyedladyofthelowlands · 11/01/2006 11:36

No, not really, we nap together in the morning but I find it impossible to drop off knowing dd will wake up at any time. She'll sleep for 20mins to 1hr in the day but at the mo it's 20 mins at a time, no point me trying to sleep. Gonna put her on Gina to re-establish some pattern to our day, havent bothered for months but we were happier knowing exactly when she'd go to bed at night and I'm hoping she'll start sleeping the night as a result. Got to stop co-sleeping first!

Original poster
LittleMunch · 13/01/2006 12:21

Little Munch is almost 12 weeks now, so still too young for the controlled crying. Any other ideas I could use instead.

The main problem at present is that he wakes about 2ish for a feed but then is awake again at about 4. I know he's not hungry etc etc as have ruled all this out, but unless I give hime his dummy and lie him next to me on a big cushion or on my chest he will not sleep for the rest of the night and even then he is quite 'tossy-turny' and stirs a lot.Hence a very broken nights sleep for me and the rest of the household!

Occasionally if he does take an ounce of milk at 4 he will settle for a further hour then wake the same as before. This obviously makes him very tired and by about 7 or 8 in the morning he finally decides to go to sleep!!! when I need to be up and about and feeding him his breakfast.

Don't mind getting up at 2 or 3 each night for the rest of my life , but would love him to then beable to go through til the morning , 6 in the morning would be ok, 7 would be better!

OP posts:
koalabear · 13/01/2006 12:31

Little munch - do yourself a favour and buy the "babywhisperer" book by tracy hogg - this SOOOOOOOOOOO helped me with DS - it has alternative strategies for sleep, and also explains why they do this

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