Let's all meet here for a sleep deprivation support group

[ImNotAnsweringIt]

I though it might be helpful to have a general thread with survival tips for dealing with the exhaustion and misery of the long or short term effects of lack of sleep. I bet we can all find someone worse off than ourselves, and that's always a help, hmm?

My little tips for making things more bearable:

Make sure you are warm enough when you have to get up in the night. Have dressing gown and slippers by your bed if neccesary. This also helps you get back to sleep quickly, should you be fortunate enough to have the opportunity!

Have lovely breakfast things in. I always have expensive cereal in the cupboards Just For Me.

Anyone else? Hang in there everyone, I am having a very down day today which is what inspired me to start this.

That sounds really awful scotty. I hope you're feeling better soon. 5 months was the point that DD was at her worst. Waking every 40 mins, then an hour and a half then 40 mins. She started to get better at 6.5 months, not through anything i'd done because I'd given up trying by that point. Last night she was up twice and I fed her once. Such a big improvement.

Hi Scotty, not much help I know but 4/5 months was the pits with DD's sleep. At that point she only wanted to sleep on me (oh yeah, and again at 9 months...) but she also became so overtired. all I can say is at that point I spent a lot of time wheeling her around in the pram to get her to fall/stay asleep...not great weather for it at this time of year I know but at least if the baby falls asleep you can nip in the shops or get a coffee or some lunch. Hope it improves soon.

Thanks guys! Words of support have perked me up a bit,had pretty much been crying all morning. DH did take her this morning but i could still hear her so got stressed out about it and couldn't sleep,very frustrating. I normally try a morning nap lying on the bed but often she just feeds then just wants to carry on with the day,why do i have such a sleep resistant baby! Its so hard to decide what to do in the day isn't it? Stay in and focus on trying to get them to sleep or get out and about to save your own mental health. Clinging to your assurances that it'll get better!!

Glad you've perked up a bit Scotty Don't know how you feel about ear plugs but I have to wear them if I want to sleep while DH has DD. Otherwise even the happy sounds keep me awake. Fortunately I was used to them anyway as DH sounds like a freight train at night is a snorer.

That's a good idea,where can you get them?

Feeling teary again,don't know if its just exhaustion. Almost cried this morning at one of the groups we go to when 2 mums named their babies sleeping through as their 'new thing this week'. Find myself wondering why us and endlessly berating myself for anything i might have done to cause her sleep problems.

Don't be hard on yourself Scotty - it's nothing you've done or not done, some babies are just 'better' sleepers than others. I am utterly convinced that having had to endure this once, I will be due a good sleeper if we are ever mad lucky enough to have another DC !

I get the foam ear plugs from Superdrug. Boots do them as well but I prefer the Superdrug ones - they are smoother and less 'foamy' and I have a weird thing about the texture of foam!

Scotty It's not something you've done or not done. If it was, it would mean we were all doing something fundamentally wrong...I could be joining you in the teary stakes tomorrow as we are seeing some friends who have perfectly sleeping babies/children who genuinely don't understand (2nd baby born just after ours) and give us the pitying looks.

Hi ladies, need some serious cheering up today. I'm worried that I'm actually starting to get depressed.

Work have turned down my flexible working application, which means that in 2 months I am going back to work full time. I have a one hour drive each way on a motorway. Today I could barely dress myself I am so exhausted, how on earth am I going to manage a long drive and full time work??.

I have spent all day in tears, in front of DD1 aswell :( I feel like I am a terrible mother as I have no energy to play so we have been spending a lot of time in the house.

I'm still trying to cosleep but last night DD2 was awake for 3 hours from 3am (after already waking at 8pm, 10pm, 1am and 2am). I really cannot bear this anymore.

Just needed to offload really, sorry for being so miserable I'm not normally like this honestly :(

thisis I'm so sorry to hear about your work,did they give a justifiable reason for turning you down? Do you have to go back soon?

Nights like you describe are the pits,be kind to yourself with whatever cheers you up,did you say exercise helps? Or perhaps the universal remedy of chocolate? Do you have a decent HV or GP you could chat to about how you're feeling?

This is that's shit isn't it. I think a lot of firms are using the recession as a reason to turn down flexi working. Do you think you have any chance of finding another job or is there a public transport route you can take to work? On the bright side, if you're returning to work in 2 months then presumably your DD2 will have to start settling into childcare in a month or so, and that would allow you to potentially catch up on some sleep during the day. Please don't feel like you're a terrible mother!

Can I join? Currently in tears after a night of no sleep at all. Sister coming round to take me for lunch to cheer me up. Ds is nearly 6 months. Still wakes for a bottle 2 or 3 times a night then plagues me with early morning waking. Usually 5am ish but this morning woke at 3.50 am and didn't go back down for a nap til 8. Dh has taken him swimming to see if tiring him out in the day will help tonight. This combined with my insomnia cause my sleep patterns are so out of kilter and me lying there in dread of the next wakeup are driving me crazy. Plus have 3 stone of baby weight to lose but can't exercise and can't stop eating cause I'm so shaky tired.

Seems I'm in the same boat as scotty. Haven't read the whole thread (cause my eyes dont work I'm too tired) but Ds has also discovered rolling from back to tummy so has started rolling over to sleep in his tummy (and I then keep checking he's still alive) or crying cause he's stuck and wants rolling back. Co sleeping used to work a bit but last night he just laughed at me/hit my face/ scratched me/ pulled my hair/ wrestled with me etc etc

Scotty if you find something that works let me know

Welcome Candy - sorry you've had to join us

thisis - sorry to hear things are so rubbish Have some and lots of sympathy.

I feel quite positive about things atm, despite the fact that DH and I are on a diet and night time sleep was back to hourly waking again last night. DD is still taking 1-2 hour naps in the swing chair and instead of full on crying she now just grizzles for a bit before she drops off.

I'm thinking that with this new development I'm going to start putting her down in the cot for naps and see how we get on. She has never, ever, ever fallen asleep without either feeding or movement so I will be amazed if it works but I think it's worth a try. I just hope it doesn't mess up the napping altogether...

Thanks Sophie!

Argh!!! Dh and I both "sleeping" in spare room to see if that helps. Ds wanted to be rolled onto his back an hour ago. Now I can't get back to sleep! I am as bad at sleeping nowadays as Ds

Hi candy. I know what you mean,not sure i could sleep well now even if DD did, though I'd like to have the chance to try!

Well done with the napping Sophie, a bit jealous but keen to know how the cot naps go.

Sorry I've been awol for ages. Have had a nightmare few weeks. had a cough/sore throat, then laptop broke and then the replacement broke and then its replacement broke, plus I've had some work in (I'm freelance) Now DD has bronchitis and has given it to me. Sleeping no better so now feeling like shit warmed up and still no sleep.
Will read back over thread and try to post later.

love to all
xx

Scotty are you still co-sleeping? Don't want to jinx things but my Ds slept much better last night in our room without us. He still woke for 2 feeds and to be rolled over onto his back but several times when he cried he had gone back to sleep by the time I got there. Feeling guilty though as Eventually I turned off the monitor and could hear him talking to himself at 5am but I resolved not to go in unless he cried. He got progressively louder and louder til He started crying at 6.30am. When I went in he had a big leaky poo and wee and was face down in a pile of dribble..shouldve gone in at 5 to check him....decided we were all disturbing each others sleep before. Let's see what tonight brings x

DS is only 4.5 months but seems to going the way of his sister (there is 19 months between them).
He won't sleep in the buggy (unless it involves at least 30 mins of screaming first) nor the car seat for general driving around town (although he is at least quiet in it for the moment)

It takes a lot of rocking to get him to sleep but then is really hard to put down. If I keep holding him he will sleep for maybe 10 mins (assume it's the food source being near by). If I put him down I might get 5/10 mins or 30 mins. If he does one decent nap (least 30 mins) down in a day then I'm OK otherwise I get all frazzled.

His night time (apart from the last few days) is generally OK at least, normally 4-5 hours stretch to start and then 2 hourly. Whether we co-sleep or not depends on him, sometimes it's better other times he won't go off after the feed. Lately it seems he needs to stay latched on forever and for some reason I can't sleep through it anymore (unless he's staying still)

So finally we have found a way of cosleeping that works for all of us (no more nights spent lying awake cold, stiff and uncomfortable) and last night DD only woke twice between 11 and 7, even better was that I only woke up when she did :) She's also stopped using me as a human dummy, which is such a relief.

Evenings are still a nightmare, most of this past week, DP and I have basically had to take turns to sit upstairs with her from 7pm till we give up and go to bed.

She's still napping really badly, short naps and will not stay asleep without me there. Keep thinking I should start trying to put her in her cot but worried that will mean we end up with no sleep in the day and the nights will get worse again. But at this rate will she ever go in her cot?

OMG - it worked! DD is asleep in her cot right now as I type and she fell asleep there. This has never EVER happened before!! So excited

Well done sophie's dd!!

How's it all going for everyone? i sewar, the last month or so has been the worst of my life...loads of RL shit and DD's sleep going from bad to worse and then everyone except DS getting bronchitis. Mine was so bad I ended up struggling to breathe and having a stint on the nebuliser at the docs. Something finally cracked and, by chance I read this thread last night (well, the OP anyway) and so when DD woke at 1140 and wouldn't settle after a bf (that I don't think she needed anyway) I decided I had nothing to lose. Read my post
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/1394888-What-worked-for-us-Hope-this-helps
but suffice to say, she slept 1215 to 845am and is now naping in her cot!!!

Hi guys and welcome newbies,sorry that you're in the same boat! Have been absent for a while as DD sleep had reached a whole new level of awful with every day starting before 5,sometimes before 4... Marginally better last night with only 3 feeds though i couldn't get back to sleep after the 440 feed as i had to keep DD cuddled into me to keep her sleeping which is very unlike her and was very uncomfortable.

Candy we only cosleep part of the night and only if she's waking a lot and I'm too tired to feed sitting up. I'm not able to actually sleep while feeding though so it doesn't mean more sleep. Realised tonight though that she'll need to move to her cot soon as she's getting too long for the crib. Really not looking forward to that as i can't be bothered traipsing up and down the hall multiple times a night and sitting feeding on a chair :(. Think i just have to bite the bullet though! Really should stop swaddling too,anyone have any tips on how to do this?

Pipoca congrats on your good night! Have you continued to have success with that technique?

Highheels we never ever get naps in the cot either and have started trying to just spread them out between being on me,in sling,in car and in buggy. Hoping it will magically change one day! Sophie are you still having success with that? Ps saw you hanging out on the nm forum,have you bought anything good on the fsot board?

Penguin you sound like me when DD was that age! Sadly night sleep got worse while ability to sleep in buggy and car got better...

Hope everyone else is ok.

Just checking in with everyone. Sleep still crap here but have stopped feeding to sleep for daytime naps. Swapped it for cuddling to sleep haha!! Have stopped bfing during the day full stop now and plan to stop bfing completely in the next month. Think nights are extra crazy right now as DD is making up for the cuddly feeding time lost during the day. Hope it all improves soon as slowly losing the will.....

No more success on the sleeping in cot I'm afraid. She just cries when I put her in now so I'm not pushing it as I don't want negative associations. She's been poorly though - currently hacking away like an old man with a 40 a day habit So hoping to get back on track once she's better.

Scotty - I have been drawn into the addictive world of babywearing and am building up quite a little stash already. So far I have a Manduca, an Action Baby Carrier, a beautiful, soft hoernum fishes and a Didy reindeers. FSOT is very dangerous! I've also been trying out a Softai from the sling library and am dreaming about a custom WC