Coping with long term sleep deprivation. What do you do to cope?

[PavlovtheCat]

Obviously apart from trying to resolve the cause of sleep deprivation. I am working on that, well, honestly not right this second as I have absolutely no idea any more how to fix it. As, well frankly I am too goddamm tired to figure it out.

How do you cope? what strategies do you put in place to enable you to function without going mad. Is it possible to have any kind of existence once you have used all the spare energy on children, eating, working?

I am struggling in particular with:
*Purple bags under my eyes. They are very ugly and I try to wear my glasses to hide my face. It seems like they will never go.
*Tired, ever so slightly yellow eyes - optician said this is due to dry eyes, common with sleep deprivation
Hurting eyes, slight almost constant headache - feels like my eyes are permently being pulled out of my eyesockets and stretched as far as they can
*horrid dry pasty skin - sallow, old looking, spotty.
*hair thinning - a symptom i think, of lack of sleep
*Loss of patience. I am ever so snappy and my poor lovely wonderful happy children are bearing the brunt of it. I told my DD off the other day for not writing properly. She did a swirly wirly 'B' in the middle of her name and I was very cross about her not doing it 'right'.
*Arguments with DH. Struggling to agree on the most simple things, esp around the causes of sleep deprivation. Lots of competition about who is most sleep deprived and who is most deserving of a lie-in. over-shadows pretty much everything right now.
*Zero energy to do anything in the evening, and sometimes in the day. And not wanting to go to bed as all i do is think about sleeping and am fed up of having no life. I struggle to be able to muster the energy to do more than veg in front of cbeebies.
*Over-sensitive.

Tips on how you cope would be good. Please.

glittery no. He thinks I must get enough sleep because I go to bed early. He absolutely has no clue how I feel. Even though I tell him. I am exagerating/being a drama queen.

He won't push him around in his pushchair until he sleeps no. I don't know why but he won't. If I was not so desperately tired I would drive him myself (it is about to rain) but I don't trust myself right now.

Can you park him in front of a DVD for a while?

Your DH is being a jerk Why on earth didn't he take him to the shops with him?

I'm so sorry. Try to get through today and not think about anything else.

kveta unfortunately the childminder can't take him on the days off as she is pregnant and uses these days to catch up with maternity related stuff.

When you are outside sleep deprivation its hard to understand how fucking hideously bone grindingly awful it is, every day, with no respite. But really, GRRRR at your DP.

Dont get in the car when you feel like this. I wish I could help, I'd push DS for you- your not in London are you?! I really would, I have been there and it was so tough.

And its nothing you are doing- I know plenty of people who had one that slept great/ another who didnt. So feck off to all the rod/back people. He will perhaps pick up your mood. Try and escape as much as you can (through books, tv, wine, swim (if you are v lucky!) when you get the chance. You are doing a great job, because if you didnt care- you wouldnt be posting here.

Could it be seperation anxiety thats making him all over the place? You said he has started with new CM- how is that going?

My sympathies. I've done two straight years now without a full night's sleep (and about 5 years with less-broken-but-still-broken sleep) and it is sort of astounding what it does to you.

Stuff I do to cope:

• Drink a lot of water, drink a lot of coffee in the morning and none after 1.30pm.
• Go to bed really early, like 8.30 or even 7.30 if possible (it often isn't).
• Buy ready meals and bulk cook and freeze home made ready meals. Get this done on good days.
• Don't watch television at all - it just makes me more zonked.
• Try not to sit down until everything is done in the morning. But also realise that sometimes I will just have grody floors that day because I am not infinite.
• Walk every day for an hour or more even when can hardly see. Do pilates when possible. Swim when possible.
• Cold washcloths on the face, haha, yes, I do this, also eye drops.
• Internet shopping, internet everything, automated everything. Get this done on good days.
• Try really hard to share the burden with DP and not get competitive. By giving out kindness I feel more, what's the word, I feel more able to be kind to myself? Does that make sense?

Seize the good days! But in general, free yourself from Shoulds and Oughts as best you can: do what you can and let yourself off the rest: eat that burger, ignore that phone call, just get through it. It's a battle. Just get through it!

Good luck.

oh ladies you made me cry, I just can't talk to anyone who understands so it is so freshening to know how you understand, not that I am glad as it means you have experienced it/are experiencing it yourself.

glitter childminder is going great. he is really settled with her, when he is with her. She has nothing but positive to say about how he behaves, and he clearly enjoys his time with her. He is reluctant to say goodbye, but not aways tearful, and always fine by the time she drives away from the school (drop him off there when I drop DD off). I do think it has something to do with it, it must do, as while he has always been quite a tough cookie regarding sleep patterns, it got worse around this time. Or so my memory tells me! And he only asks for me when he wakes, and if on the rare occasion DH does get up, he gets cross and says 'nono mamamamama' but, DH was the main caregiver before he was off/DS went to childminder because I worked every day before he started his new job.

I have had a bit of a sleep. Not much though. I have so much to do today. My brother is coming to visit, gets here at 8:30pm. House is a mess, and we have a tea party on sunday for DS's 2nd birthday. DH has the car for work this afternoon so I have to bus it to get DD from school, not even dressed let along started on the tidying. Had I wanted to come home from work (would be home about now, but before) an crack on for an hour or two before school run.

I just feel like I am doing everything and none of it very well right now.

acumenin wow the cold flannel - THAT works a treat! It does not stop me from putting a coffee cup in the fridge instead of the microwave, or trying to start the car with the house keys, but it eases the hot tired eyes and makes me feel sooooo much better for a short time at least. Thank you for that tip!

As you can see. I am awake. I have not gone to bed yet. it has taken me over an hour to get my Dbrother kick-started. He is a night owl. Boy will he be in for a shock in a couple of hours . And, now he is in bed. I can't sleep. Partly I guess I am over-tired. I have a headache and my eyes hurt, head feels heavy but not sleepy. And I think partly it is that I am expecting DS to wake up any moment. And also DH is not home from work yet.

Night all, hope you all get some sleep too x

Ahhh, refrigerated coffee. I know it well! x