Need a routine - book recommendations please

[NewChoos]

DS is now 20 weeks and currently goes to bed when we do 2200 ish, he is sleeping in his cot but only if he is asleep when we put him in it, he generally wakes at 0200 and 0600 for a feed and comes into bed with us after the 0600 feed.
I would like to start helping him to self settle. Also would like to try and get his day naps in the cot as he generally sleeps on me....

We are finding it hard leaving him to cry (so we don't), so think I need to start at the beginning.

What books did you find helpful?
Thanks

Hi, my baby isn't here yet, but i know i have to get into a routine asap as i cannot stand sleep deprivation for a long period of time! I've bought the "controversial" Gina Ford Contented Baby book, and the other book she's done which goes into sleep in more detail - The Complete Sleep Guide for Contented Babies and Toddlers. This might be best for you, as she goes into loads of detail about how to initiate a routine if you've not had one before, self soothing etc and there's lots of case studies to refer to. When I've spoken to friends who have small children, and got them into a routine of sleeping through the night quickly, Gina's advice is very similar to theirs. Hope this helps :)

I would recommend Baby Whisperer. It suggests routines but isn't as hard line as Gina Ford and allows you to make your own way. I found it a good happy medium between Gina, who is ridiculously tough to follow, and the happy go lucky, attachment parenting types who basically say no structure at all. I think routines to help children feel calm and settled but they shouldn't be allowed to dominate your life, after all you have to continue to live as well.
Also for what its worth and ignore this if it works for you but 2200 bed time seems very late to me. When you start thinking about getting the baby to sleep through having an earlier bed-time will help, I think.

Thanks very much for the advice.
I think we'll try the baby whisperer, I don't think we could be disciplined enough for Gina Ford.
Would love to get him down earlier - he just cries :( Any tips?
Sorry I feel like such a novice!

Don't want to be negative but just wanted to share my experience. I tried (very very hard) to implement a routine with DD1 around 5-6 months old and she resisted at every turn.

I gave up in the end for two reasons:

1. It was seriously impacting my relationship with her and I was getting worried about my reactions when she wouldn't nap according to routine or eat according to routine
2. I was going back to work anyway and discovered that her nursery didn't implement a routine, just went with the flow, so it didn't matter

If you do have any kind of childcare for your DS coming up, it might be worth checking about their approach to routines, as your hard work may all be for naught in the end.

That said, I know lots of babies who benefited from a routine and loved it.

Good luck x