Help with sleep routine for 9 month old!

[lill72]

Hello,

I am wondering if you could tell me what you have done for your DD or DS. My DD is 9 month and until recently was in a cot attached to our bed. I fed to sleep at night and whenever she woke I fed her back to sleep. We have just moved house which as you can imagine has wreaked havoc over any routine. DD also now has her own room and a new cot to deal with. Our 'routine' at the moment goes something like this:

5.30 dinner.
6-7 bath, books
7-30 -bf feed or bottle to sleep on our bed, then transfer to cot.

8-8.30 DD is wide awake and showing no signs of tiredness. attempt to feed back to sleep - does not work. Put in cot - stands and screams. We have left her for a bit (ie few mins) but then go and get her. I can't bear to leave her crying when she is screaming.

11pm.Then we let her play or be with us until 11pm at which time I feed her back to sleep and transfer to her cot.

1.30-2pm wakes up. BF back to sleep and transfer back to cot or stays in our bed.

5.30 - awake. BF back to sleep until 7.30.

My main problem is the period between 8-12. I don't know whether to start a tough routine of controlled crying or to do it gradually and try and gradually decrease the period she is awake here.

DD will not take a dummy and will not go to sleep in her own cot if we put her there awake.

any suggestions hugely helpful as I am at a loss. thanks

Afraid I can't offer solutions, but am in the same boat with DS2 (nearly 8 mo) and can only echo littlewheels advice, especially the suspicion that it'll all change soon, hopefully for the better.

DS2 seems to be having a major developmental spurt ATM, crawling, eating and generally exploring everything.
I hope once this settles down a bit his sleep may improve

I believe that they get into a sleep pattern when they are ready, some much sooner than others and I try not to stress about it too much in the meantime.

It is really hard not having a baby free evening, maybe one day

thank you for your replies - I totally agree with what you say. Sometimes you just have to let them find their way in their own time. Littlewheel - thanks I might try and put her to bed half an hour later as you suggest. She just doesn't look tired at all, but hey it's worth a shot. and maybe get my DH to do it, not me.

Lakeflypie - I am going to just relax about it and take it as it comes, as you say. Think I just got worrried as I chatted to a friend the other day who has an 7 month old that sleeps from 7.30-6.30. My friend is particulary pedantic as a person, so feel like she would have had this situation under strict control. I started to feel like an out of control mother. But it may be that she is just lucky.

anyway - thank you for your thoughts and support. We will all get there!!!

Don't ever let your friends make you feel inadequate! It's different with every child. Unfortunately there are some that just don't need as much sleep as others, no matter what you do.

I have to say that I did 'sleep train' mine and it worked beautifully with 3 out of 4. It helps to use a book - Dr Richard Furber (sp?) is what I used - I think it's called "solve your child's sleep problems" or some such (it was a while ago now). The controlled crying thing is hard at first but as soon as it works and you see how happy your child is when its getting enough sleep and how much of a difference it makes to you and your DH to have an actual evening together it gets much easier. My first took only 3 nights and then he was falling asleep on his own in his cot every night and sleeping through till morning... I remember feeling so relieved and happy - it changed my life. Also you must remember you are teaching them a life skill! We all need to sleep and to learn to fall asleep easily, and babies need to learn that they can fall asleep on their own happily and that you will always be there when they wake up. I firmly believe that it makes them happier and more secure in the long run.

Having said that... it didn't work with my DS3 who was happy to fall asleep on his own but then woke up at 2-3am every night wanting to play... for 3 YEARS!!! It drove me insane and I was very close to depression - sleep deprivation is a terrible thing. He eventually did sleep through when I put him in a room with his brother. He is now 12 and still doesn't need as much sleep as anyone else, it's just the way he's made.

I think you should at least read a book on controlled crying, just to see if you think you could face it... and if you can give it a go - 9 months is a good time to do it. Good luck whatever you decide.

You could try to reduce the link between feeding and going to sleep, particularly at the 7.30pm bed time. Feed before bath, do books etc in her room and sooth to sleep (or get your DH to do it). Does she sleep during the day? This is also a good time to try to reduce the link between feeding and sleep. 9 months is a goood time to start this.

I wouldn't do this during the night for a while until you get the bed time sorted.

We are just in the middle of trying to improve DD's- same age as yours- sleep. The Ferber book is great- chapters 5 and 6 particularly- and so far things are getting much better. I'm going in every 3-5 mins, providing reassurance and then leaving again. Book recommends much longer but I don't feel comfortable with that (and don't seem to be 'needing' to).

We had to do something, I was going do-lally with sleep deprivation.

No Cry Sleep Solution!
Saviour of my sanity!

Thank you all - I will have a look at the book suggested. We have been trying controlled crying over the last week - going in every 3-5 minutes. It has improved things greatly and we actually had DD sleep from 9.30pm-4.45 am which was amazing! We usually have 1-2 wake ups a night though. I am still feeding back to sleep - but will try and stop this when I get the bed routine sorted. thank you for all your thoughts and suggestions.