11 week old screams before bed

[FuzzyWuzzyWuz]

(This is a bit long, but I'm trying to include all the pertinent detail!)

DD was previously a very sleepy baby, but woke up at around 7 weeks and we've been trying to get her to sleep since

She isn't very keen on day time naps, although I am persevering, she will now go down for about 30 minutes each time, roughly 3 times a day, which I know isn't really enough but I'm hoping as she gets more and more used to it it will increase.

It's the night times which are getting a bit fraught. Previously, we would have bath, bottle, story, cuddle bed, and this went quite well. We still have bath, and that goes very well (giggly noises and smiles etc) but as soon as we walk into the bedroom she kicks off big style. We've tried bottles, dummies, cuddles, putting down, walking out when she's quiet (but walking in very quickly afterwards as she starts screaming again) stories have gone out of the window as she's screaming so much she can't possibly hear us, none of it works. We've tried earlier bedtimes, later bedtimes, we aim to start at 7pm with the bath and be done and dusted by 730, but tonight she was still screaming at 830. She really does sound like she's going to burst something.

I've read this could just be a phase, and that she's releasing the stress of the day, but it's really hitting nerves now (day 6). Once she's gone to sleep, she'll stay asleep until 4ish, it's just so traumatic hearing her get in such a state. Any ideas?

I would put her to bed later. It sounds like she is overtired but at 11 weeks I wouldn't leave her to scream. What are you doing for the day time naps? Are you putting her in bed? Maybe it would be worth trying something different. DS would happily nap in bed but DD preferred the pram

With my 2 I would leave them to cry but for no longer than 10 mins. With DS he settled very quickly. DD took a bit longer and after 10 mins I would get her up, calm her down and have a cuddle or a play. She would then go down much better. However this was nearer 6 months.

Are you breast or bottle? Maybe a bit more milk would help. She may be going into her next growth spurt.

i'm not sure 11 week olds gather enough stress for this to be a likely theory!!

And don't worry about the bedtime story - she is too young and you can easily add this into her routine in a few months.

Hi, thanks for replying. We're not leaving her to scream, it's just nothing we do will calm her down.

Naps are taken either in her cot, in the car seat or in the buggy - it's always 30 mins max where ever.

She's FF, we've tried giving her extra, yesterday she took it, today she wouldn't.

Does she cuddle to sleep. I got DD into routine through cuddling and then gradually got her sleeping in her bed. A bit tiring for you though!

That time of night is often a tough time for babies. Could it be wind? Is she like this at other times? Could be an allergy? Might be worth talking to your HV if you trust her judgement?

If she is hysterical it may well be that she is overtired. Have you tried one of those vibrating bouncy chairs? Now I think of it DS was about 12 weeks when he went through a phase of crying at that time of night. We used to put him in the chair and he would chill for 20 mins and then go to bed about 8/8.30

When she wakes at 4 I assume she gets a feed - does she then go straight down? Until what time?

She will cuddle to sleep but then goes straight back to screaming when we put her down.

Naps are variable - today there were no screaming fits but that is slightly unusual, normally there is a bit of fuss but no way near as bad as bed times.

We have a basic (foot or hand operated) bouncy chair, she won't sleep in it though, not even after 20 mins of bouncing.

I don't think it's wind, she's never really suffered badly with that, couple of pats on the back and she's belching like a good un. I have tried keeping her upright after her last bottle to try and make sure any wind has moved by bed time. she never seems to have any difficulty in the trouser-cough department either.

I feed her 7oz at 4 and she'll go back to sleep without any fuss until 8 ish.

I'm off to bed now but thanks for your help, I'll check back tomorrow morning.

They are conundrums! Only being up once between 8pm and 8am with an 11 week old is pretty good so don't despair - she is actually a pretty good sleeper!!

Good luck!

Thanks, I know once she's gone to sleep she is really good, it's just the screaming beforehand - next door must wonder what's going on!!

I know that feeling! Often wonder why the neighbours haven't been round!

I was thinking about it at 5am this morning when 11m old DD woke up for milk!

She screamed blue murder when I put her down last night so I took her into the lounge and we looked at books together then put her back 15 mins later. She cried but only for 5 mins. She still wakes about 5:30am for milk and then goes back down until 8. So not much different to your 11wk old!

Obviously at 11m it is easier as she is more aware so I know she is crying because she is angry at being left!

DD (19 weeks) has been doing EXACTLY the same as your DD, fuzzy. It's been a week now and am beside myself. Wake up dreading bedtimes! It's taking 3 to 4 hours to get her to bed (tonight is paticularly epic; she's gone for a walk with DH!). Like your DD, once asleep she pretty much stays there, with one or two feeds in the night. digging she seems just damn cross that she's been left, but is 19 weeks too young for this? I also wonder what the neighbours think!!!

Come to the conclusion that she's overstimulated and overtired, so am going to put a stricter routine into place, and be really careful about what we do in the afternoon. Will also try to encourage longer day naps, as she doesn't go much more than 30 mins. DH wants to do crying down, but I don't want to (yet).

I think that's still a bit young for anger at being left. If it was that I would just leave her (as I do with DD!) but at that age I think they are trying to tell you something!

The one thing I did notice with my two was that they did need the right amount of sleep in 24 hours. I can't remember how much that is at 19 weeks

are you keeping her up from a certain time so she goes down at bedtime? Might be worth letting her have a catnap then and then a later bedtime

thanks digging. We've had a calm day, she's napped well, not eaten that much (heat?), but I'm happy to have some night feeds in exchange for actually going to bed in the first place!
We haven't been keeping her up, and I agree that she's too young to just be cross. However, the fact that she giggles and stops hysterics as soon as you pick her up implies it could be the case!
Fingers crossed for tonight!!!

What about something that plays a tune for a while then turns itself off? My friend had one that projected pictures onto the wall as well.

Whoop, it took an hour tonight! (That's the best all week!). Thanks slovenly - music seemed to really help.
Off for some (and I bet she wakes up now I've posted this!).

Enjoy the wine!!

My health visitor did tell us to leave dd as she may be over tired and we were stimulating her and stopping her from sleeping. We had a 15 minute rule, she was not always asleep in 15 minutes but there would be a change in the cry and we would leave her a bit longer. If she was still screaming after the 15 we would go in.

The music things are good - can't actually think of the name - until dd became old enough to switch hers on herself and the stupid singing pooh bear woke us up at 3:00 am!

Def worth the money in my view

Thanks slovenly - two good nights in a row! Does mean listening to baby Einstein cd though, aka death by glockenspiel!