2yr old screaming at bedtime

[Yorky]

DD has never been a good sleeper, she had her 2nd birthday last week and has a 5month old younger brother and a 3.10yr old older brother. We moved when she was 3wks old and I am sure looking back and comparing my postnatal self this time with how I was after her birth that I had PND but refused to admit it. Don't know if any of that is relevant. She was a fairly big baby but lovely homewater birth so not blaming birth trauma. She shares a room with older brother, sleeps in a cotbed with the sides off.
For the last week she has decided she doesn't like bedtime, and when put in bed will get out as soon as she can and sit and scream at the babygate at the top of the stairs (can't have it in their doorway for DS1 to go to the loo in the night)
She isn't in pain, we check her nappy every time we go up, she struggles to maintain her crying as she is tired and will almost fall asleep sitting on the landing, but she has done this for the last 5 nights and cried for over an hour more than once (we go up at slowly increasing intervals so she isn't on her own) but I thought she was supposed to learn to settle herself?

Is she too old, have we 'made a rod for our own backs', are we being too harsh suddenly?

Has anyone any better ideas because DH and I are dreading bedtimes, he is out this evening and I am out tomorrow evening and feel guilty about leaving the other to deal with her alone :(

Thank you

My DS (also just over 2) has gone through a few phases a bit like this, where he has gone from going to bed pretty happily to spending a week getting really distressed about it, for no apparent reason. We've never left him to cry (other than fairly low level protest whimpering) but have stayed in the room with him until he's either calmed down enough for us to leave or until he's asleep. I know all that stuff about they should be able to settle themselves, but generally he is, so I've taken the view that he's upset for a temporary reason, which we need to reassure him about for a few days and it'll pass. So far that's worked and he's fine about us leaving him 95% of the time, so I don't subscribe to the "making a rod" theory. Obviously each child is different though! Good luck.

My two year old has been a brilliant sleeper from 4 months old, and up untill a few weeks ago, had slept through every night ( once or twice woken up, but staright back to sleep).
We put him in a bed about a month ago, and he loved going to bed in it.
However the past few weeks , he has screamed for an hour when we put him to bed. Ive tried shouting, tried just putting him back silently. Also holding him and stroking his face. Nothing seems to work?
he has started to wake up in the night aswell, usualy 2/3 times. The other night about 15 times I had to get up, which was ridiculous.
he has also become scared of petty much everything in the house, garden and television!!
Not sure if this is a faze he's going through, but starting to get very tierd and feeling useless!
Doesnt help that he wakes up my 5 month old :(
Fingers crossed they grow out of it !