Self-Soothing

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My little girl is 15 weeks old and will only settle off to sleep when she is rocked in our arms and sucking on one of our fingers (not keen on using a dummy).

We have started a bedtime routine which has been successful 3 times out of 7 but sometimes she cries so much that we end up bringing her downstairs with us until we go to bed. I suspect she is over-tired because she is not napping enough during the day.

Could someone advise me on how we can wean her from needing us in order to sleep and how to establish a daytime nap routine?

Thanks in advance.

mine is 8 weeks, and on the advice of a friend we do a bed time routine and were super mean with it is bath, pjs on, hair dried with drier (hes got loads!!) bottle in bedroom with lights off then kiss, put down and mobile on- when he cried we went in every 5 mins then 10 mins then every 15mins replaced dummey and stroked head til he calmed down then immediatly left. we did not talk to or even look at him (and dont with night time feeds) the first night it took an hour and 20 mins 4 him 2 go to sleep. 2nd night was bout 25 mins and every night after that hes gone in cot wide awake and gone off by self. we were firm and hes realised however much he cries we wouldnt back down and he seems alot more settled for it - mine has about 2 10min naps in the day and i put him to bed about 7 n get him up bout 9, he wakes once or twice in the night for bottle - hope this helps just depends how u feel about letting her cry - i found it increadibly hard and was downstairs crying myself and feeling like the worst mum ever but 4 2 nights suffering he now goes off fine every night and i feel its better in the long run cus the older he gets the harder it would be (everyones seen supernanny when its like 39th time outa bed lol) if u are gunna do it id recomend having someone else with you for support and so you wont give in as its really hard x

3 times out of 7 is good going!

Fwiw, I reckon self settling is a developmental stage kids all reach at different times.

Ds1 self settled from a ridiculously early age with little input from us.

Ds2 on the other hand cannot do it yet and tbh I reckon will be about 2yrs before he can do it. I do not want to go down the crying route and even those who advocate it do not advise it before a year.

She is only 15 weeks, so very little. Please do not worry about rods for bloody backs and all that. They get there when they are able. A good bedtime routine never goes amiss and as she can already nod off by herself from time to time, you probably dont have too long to wait.

Over tired - yes, doesn't help. Do whatever is necessary to get her to snooze, pram, swing, cudddles.

Good luck.

Thanks both of you. I would rather not do controlled crying and we don't mind cuddling her at all but want her to have good sleep habits.

Maybe try 'No Cry Sleep Solution'?

Not used it myself but a gentle way of encouraging good sleep habits and many people swear by it. DO an advanced search on here and there are a fair few threads.

just to reassure you- my DD is 7 months and only started to show any signs of self soothing at 5.5 months, up til then she was always cuddled/BF to sleep.

15 weeks is VERY young and she will need your help still. Don't worry that whatever you do now will be what you are doing forever- they change so quickly at this age. At 15 weeks my DD used to fall asleep in my arms in the lounge, then when she was fast asleep we would tuck her into cot. This worked just fine up until around 5 months!!

I also find even now- that DD needs help with naps and getting to sleep. I do whatever I need to, as if she naps well I know she will sleep well (at the moment 7pm-6am), and for me its vital that I sleep well at night!!

I wouldn't worry about CC or any sleep training right now. If later on you decided you use these methods, they will probably work better as she is older/more aware of what you are doing...

good luck

Thank you for the reassurance. Until now, we have followed her lead with everything and not worried too much about routine. It's just that we are concerned she isn't getting enough sleep.

If you are doing all you can to help her get sleep, then she will get enough. I felt ds2 was constantly over tired the first few months but he does get enough now (he's 6 mths). Just a pity I don't though...

Thanks nicky. Yes the lack of sleep is difficult to deal with, especially as I'm very partial to it :)

I agree with scarlett. DS is 8 months, and only really started self-settling at around 5 months during the night, and around 6 months at bedtime. At 15 weeks I was still feeding to sleep or cuddling, or whatever it took! Rest assured, you won't be creating any "bad habits" for later by doing what you're doing now. DS will now happily put himself back to sleep when he wakes in the night, and will go down in his cot awake at bedtime and get himself to sleep...

when my lo was born i didnt know what to do as this was our first, i rocked to sleep or in car seat or slept on us. as lo got bigger it was hard to rock to sleep then lo started sleeping a wee bit longer at night until recently then lo kept crying every 2-3 hrs we thought lo was hungry so i fed to sleep that turned into every hour. we put him down stroke his head and sssh that took an hour and a half in the beginning but now we can put lo down for the night he self settles and sleeps the whole night!

wow feliena, controlled crying at 8 weeks?

You do know its recommended for over 6 months only don't you? Your poor baby.