9 months crap naps

[NapWhatNap]

I posted in AIBU about this yesterday and got some good advice, but thought I would get some input here too. I would be so grateful for some practical tips.

I am at the end of my tether with dd's naps. Since being tiny she has been a 40 minute wonder. I thought that was tough! She did used to self settle in her cot consistently though, after a bit of work at around 4-5 months.

In the past few weeks her naps have gone from 40 to 30 to (today) 20 minutes long. It's hit and miss whether she settles in her cot- and I've gone back to rocking her in pram about 50% of time.

She is also waking between 5 and 5.30am and I don't know if the two things are connected?

She sleeps well at night- goes down at 7pm, needs settling once in evening then sleeps til (early) morning.

A typical day atm is:

05.15 wake
play/grumble in cot
05.45 breastfeed
08.00 breakfast
08.30 nap
09.00 wake
10.30 snack (eg yoghurt and fruit)
12.00 lunch
12.30 nap
13.00 wake
14.30 breastfeed
16.30 nap (out walking in pram)
17.00 wake
17.30 dinner
18.30 breastfeed
19.00 asleep

I'd try to go with the flow but
a) I don't think she's getting enough sleep
b) I'm back to work soon and worried she'll get even less sleep as childminder can't spend all day managing dd's feeble nap schedule!
c) I find a 12hr+ day with a baby very tiring and would dearly dearly love a bit of time to myself, just to eat lunch!

Anyone?

Have a chronic 40 minute napper too, at 8 months. Every time I see a month go by, I secretly hope that this month will see the mythical 2 hours sleeps appear.

My DS does uber short naps (20 mins or so) when he's a bit overtired. Looking at your timings, I wonder if your DC is going down a bit late for the first nap, if waking at 5.30? Maybe not, but I quite often put DS down at 7.30 if he wakes then (and then go back to bed myself for half an hour which I'm too awake to do at 8.30). Appreciate that then messes up all the day's timings and probably solids too but just a thought.

Any way she'll resettle when she wakes if you hover at the 30 min point? Doesn't always work but I always try it - when I hear DS stir, I dash in, turn him on his side (he settles best like that) and then quite assertively pat his back and bottom (for anything up to 10 mins or so). If he's not overtired, then I can sometimes get him to go back down for another half hour or so. Theory is that if you do it enough, they should learn to do that on their own. 3 months on he still hasn't got it so he's either stupid (and as my pfb he couldn't possibly be that) or it just doesn't work for us. Does get a bit more sleep for him though and quite often I stay in his room when I think he's settled and mnet on my phone, in case he stirs again. So although its work, I get to do something for me!

Enough of my wittering. Sure someone whose baby actually has decent naps without manic patting will come along with better wisdom soon...

I remember from the Baby Whisperer, that sleep goes in 40 minute cycles which is why so many people find their DC waking after 40mins, if you can get her through the 40min (by patting, rocking, ignoring, find what works for you!) then you should get another 40mins.
The only thing I can say, looking at the schedule is that I think many babies are down to 2 naps by that age and that if there was any way you could get her down to 2 then maybe they would be longer. Sorry, though I don't have the magic wand for how to do that, it's just an idea that it might be better!
The second thing to add is that the childminder will be well used to (and less beholden to) dodgy schedules but that you may well find she settles better and gets into a better routine, there

PS. also suspect the early waking is connected to her being a bit overtired in the day. Apparently this happens.

Agree with hillyhilly that most babies I know of 8 months plus are down to two naps. I want to try it as our third nap is always a struggle, but DS is just recovering from horrible chest infection and needed lots of sleep, so will try when he is better.

Agree - early morning waking is often to do with being due to overtiredness from not enough daytime sleep. Some babies simply can't sleep for more than one cycle in the day. Others need settling again between cycles - my 10 m.o. sleeps for 2 hours at lunchtime, but I have to feed him in the middle when he wakes.

Many babies between the ages of around 6 and 18 months fall into a roughly 2-3-4 pattern: first nap 2 hours after waking, second nap 3 hours after waking, bedtime 4 hours after waking. (My DS does 2.5-3.5-4.) You could try that sort of approach and try for a first nap sooner.

Suddenly short naps are possibly due to the 8/9 month sleep regression - DS went from 2 hours at lunchtime to 45 mins, then to only 30 mins. After a week or two he just went back to normal.

Thanks ladies, your thoughts are much appreciated.

I had thought about dropping the third nap and have in fact done that a few times, when I can't be arsed to walk around in rain have had plans late afternoon. It doesn't affect her night time sleep so I might stick to two naps and see if they get longer.

Only problem is, she's often up from her lunchtime nap by 1pm (gah) so that's an awful long time to bedtime...

suchanamateur I'm at the point where I think I'll start hovering during her naps to try to get her off to sleep again. By the time she's crying it's too late, she's fully awake. And half an hour is barely worth the "me time" so I may as well spend it waiting then trying to help her back to sleep.

It's so strange that she sleeps so soundly for ten hours at night and can't manage a one hour stretch in the day!

Thanks also hillyhilly for reassurance re childminder. It has been playing on my mind.

On the childminder thing - DS1 would never sleep in his cot during the day so all naps were short and in the pram (I walked MILES)- when he went to the c-minder he settled into a lovely routine really fast. It was absolutely brilliant. Good luck

oh god she's not even napping in her pram this afternoon! she's had 30 mins sleep since 5am this morning. I missed her nap window (she started yawning in pram while we were out at about 11.30am, so had to get home, give her lunch etc) and now she has basically been bawling since I tried to put her down 35 minutes ago. Bawling in her cot, bawling and fighting me when I picked her up, now bawling in her pram as I rock her.

I know it's because she is overtired (though she's also chewing her fist which suggests teething) but it seems impossible for her not to be overtired when she gets up so bloody early and barly naps. If I followed her tired signs she'd be lunched and napped and up again by 12 noon.

I want to try extending her naps but have got family staying, and don't particularly want them to get involved as they surely will do if tjey catch wind of it.

Oh my god I am sitting here rocking and rocking and she WILL NOT SLEEP. Feel like crying, should I just get her up? But she woke up from morning nap at 9am, it seems cruel to let her stay awake all day.

Gahhhhhhh.

How are you now? This will all pass but it's a cow while it's happening. If it's any consolation DS1 became a fab little sleeper when he got a bit older 9-12m) so hang on in there

I am alright now, thanks for asking! The postman woke her up after 30 mins but she was in a good mood all afternoon and settled well for bed.

I get so frustrated in the heat of the daily nap trauma. And I get obsessed with the idea that crap naps are the reason she's waking at 5am and vice versa.I can't figure out how to fix either of these things.

I should focus on the fact that she is happy (a very chirpy little one almost all the time) and healthy and sleeps well at night.

But oh I wish she'd nap!

Thanks again for the support. Nice to know someone is out there.