Why Wont He Sleep?! and other questions.

[PavlovtheWitchesCat]

I have several issues right this second:

1. he won't nap in the day.
2. he wakes every 2-3 hourly at night time
3. he wakes at around 5am and cries until he can suckle til 6:00-6:30am
4. he won't leave me alone. not for one second.
5. he appears to have a bit of a temper (while strangely being a very calm and chilled out baby when we let him wield the knife or fork - his obsession atm).

I am exhausted and suffocated. This evening, i have had him pawing at me quite aggressively with his little razor claws thinking it is a game a being too cute for words with it. I felt like crying and laughing all at the same time.

Can anyone help me to gain a little serenity, courage and wisdom please?

Pav we are both in Devon - can I help you in any way? My dd is a pain in the neck but to be fair it I don't think I have it half as bad. We, too, have no family nearby: nearest is in London. We have never had anyone take dd even for an hour or two so we can go to the cinema, so I really really know what it is like to feel the relentless monotony of it all...
So can I help, in any way? I have a really good beautician here - you could come and have a facial and manicure or something and I can man the kiddy lifeboats....

Sorry if you've already answered this above, but have you tried at dummy? My first wouldn't take one (yours sounds just like him). I gave a dummy to my second with teething gel rubbed on it - magic! Put a few dummies around the cot if baby accepts it so if loses it in the night there are others available (they don't need the teething gel.

Also, with my first at around a year old I got tough with him. Stopped breastfeeding, put him in a strict routine and did some major sleep training. I'd had enough. I felt it had become a battle of wills. He's still willful 6 years on, just in different ways. A fab boy though!

Oh, and after I stopped breastfeeding I didn't give him anything before he went to bed, and he never missed it. Just made sure he got enough during the day. Didn't use bottles, went straight to cup.

Pavlov hugs.

Hope you and heylottie can get together I would help out if I was closer.

Ds screams in the carseat so I was probably saved from using that as an option!

Can your dh do the drives on the weekend to give you a break?

I really feel for you.

How was last night?

lottie that is very lovely of you! You have your own to look after though! And DH is here, just i guess he sees us as 'doing it together' so any tiredness is 'competition' if you know what I mean. And he seems to find ways of looking after himself well enough. He does plenty here so when I need just a little more, he acts like I am not grateful or recognise what he does do. Like, I made it clear that today, my day off after taking DD to school for photos with DS, i wanted me time. He arranged for us to pop in on a friend on the way home with his little girl, and then wanted to do charity shopping, i accepted this with a bit of a moan, said I would have a sleep when we got home, and then we came home. He is now having a bath, and said 'can you keep an eye on DS while I have my bath please?' wtf? why not run me a nice bath? why not look after DS so i can have a bath? I hear you say 'just ask for the bath' but it would be nice for him to hear me and see how fucking terrible i look and realise i need so tlc. Just a tinsy bit. He got crabby with me when I said I didn't want to look after ds, but wanted to chill out. I guess i need to recognise that he needs time too, but he gets plenty. He cleaned the house yesterday. I would love some time on my own to clean the house. Anything, to have some time.

So, sorry, went off on one a bit there, I would love to meet and have a coffee though, we could let the kids run a bit and you could help keep an eye, but would feel too cheeky to have you look after the kids when DH is here!

Dummy - he loves a dummy, to play with, but won't use it to settle himself, never has, although we did try it a few times.

Last night - much much better!!! But I don't even feel likt it is a breakthrough. Not after being pleased i had settled him to sleep and then such a shit night. I put him to bed at 7pm new time, but he did not settle til gone 8pm, and only with boob. However, he then slept til 3am new time, so a good 7 hours. Shame I didn't as people phoned, the cats jumped on my head etc, did not get to sleep til 10pm, but still a good 5 hours. Then he woke again at 5am, and came in with us til 6:15am when he woke for the morning.

My muscles ache.

Oh Pavlov, hope that you are feeling a bit better after 5 hours of sleep.

I had a bit of a rubbish night last night. Ds went to sleep fine by about 7.30pm but then woke at 11.30pm, just as I was going to bed. I was too tired to sit up and feed him and stay awake so I just co-slept from the off but ds had a really unsettled night where he just wanted to be attached to my boob all night. It makes it so hard to get any properly restful sleep.

I have two weeks off work in January when dd will be at school so I can just loll around in the day if needed and by then ds will be 13 months. I have decided that I will sleep train him then if his sleeping is no better as I will feel happier (less sad) if it means the end of bf as I will have fed until he is 1 which is better than I ever hoped for to start with. This decision is helping me get through now iyswim as I am determined that things will get better!

Hi everyone (feeble wave)
Yes pav the competitive tiredness is wearying in itself isnt it? I tend always to be the one who gets up and sees to DD because apart from anything else I know I won't hear the end of it for the rest of the day if Dh does it.

Does this make me a martyr??!? Or do I just strive for the quiet life from everyone??!!!

On the plus side, I really think that we are getting the crap out of the way with all our babies and once they get over this 'little hump' they will sleep blissfully through the night forever more. And they will never get into trouble. And do well at school. And have glittering careers. So the hard bit (ahem) really is now!

How is everyone else getting on?

ps pav whereabouts are you in Devon?

ladi so you had such a rough night. I hope it improves tonight x

same for everyone else x

We are no co-sleeping, the boy and I. dh is on the sofa tonight and tomorrow the cot comes back in with us, cobbled with the side off so he sleeps with us but in his own space.

I have come to the conclusion as has DH that he needs me. I am not going to do CC, or any other kind of sleep training, I am going with what he wants, which is me, and my boobs, and sobeit, let him have them. I can fight this no more. Last night we co-slept and while he tossed and turned, he only wanted the boob a couple of times and then only for 10 mins. Tonight, we have more room, and tomorrow, we all have room and our own space, but together so he sees me.

Wish me luck, I might regret it, but I might not

lottie I am in the 'City' by the sea. We should meet with the kids for a wet stomp on the beach sometime soon, then, even if tired, we can get some air and let them run wild for a bit. How old is your DD?

Pav how has it been going the last couple of nights? Manys the time I have thought about reverting to co-sleeping when I am up for the nth time - but co-sleeping seems to 'annoy' dd now, like I am in the way. Strange child.
I think what is hard is when the night-time sleep is hard work and the daytime naps are a slog too. Perhaps if he is more rested at night you can try to tackle the naps? Then maybe the night times will sort themselves out naturally? If that makes sense.
Ramble ramble.

Our sleep traing has been ok - dont want to tempt fate but the last three nights dd has gone down at 7pm and only woken once (usually at 4ish) before getting up at about 630. Which is a huge improvement, although I think temporary somehow. And I feed her back to sleep at 4am, (secretly) because dh thinks she shouldnt be fed, but at 4am I chose path of least reisitance, and will tackle that in the next few weeks.

Sigh. Will email over the weekend to arrange a meet up soon? DD has just turned 1, and loves meeting new people especially children.

How is everyone else?