Why Wont He Sleep?! and other questions.

[PavlovtheWitchesCat]

I have several issues right this second:

1. he won't nap in the day.
2. he wakes every 2-3 hourly at night time
3. he wakes at around 5am and cries until he can suckle til 6:00-6:30am
4. he won't leave me alone. not for one second.
5. he appears to have a bit of a temper (while strangely being a very calm and chilled out baby when we let him wield the knife or fork - his obsession atm).

I am exhausted and suffocated. This evening, i have had him pawing at me quite aggressively with his little razor claws thinking it is a game a being too cute for words with it. I felt like crying and laughing all at the same time.

Can anyone help me to gain a little serenity, courage and wisdom please?

Oh also, have read but not implemented the No Cry Sleep Solution (as DD started sleeping before I'd finished book) and it seems ideal for you if you've not tried it- very gentle, designed for people who definitely don't want to leave their baby to cry, even for a minute.

I love the NCSS, but DH will not follow it, so we need some kind of inbetween. We are going to talk about it tonight and come up with a proper plan.

Last night was Good and Bad. Good - ds slept from 8pm-2:30am, and went down with little fuss (unlike the night before, when he refused to settle til 10pm). Bad - he would not go back to sleep, wanted to play/chat/cuddle and it took DH til 4:30am to settle him. He then woke at 6am or so and settled again with some milk til 7:30am. Random, better sleep, but a huge gap that has left us both shattered. He then napped for 1.5 hours today, took DH 1 hour to get him down but he persevered and it paid off. He will plug himself into his ipod in future and just work with it (poor dd!).

So we are thinking that regardless of how hard it is tonight, we will probably offer only water, no milk AT ALL no matter how much he fusses for it, until 5:30am. Then he can feed til 6am when I have to get up for work anyway, and maybe even go back to sleep for another hour. We will work out details/who does what later tonight.

On the plus side...the kitchen is spotless as I cleaned it after not being able to get back to sleep after DH took over with DS

thelady yes,i really liked pupd with DD it worked. But with DS he is just instantly awake as soon as he goes down, he is not responding at all. I had wondered if we should get him something for his room as he is distracted by his music, he wants to sing to it at 3:30am (did this this morning) and la and point to the outside light, so maybe a light projector might focus him enough to sleep. He is very aware of sounds and lights and up to recently went to sleep as long as his music was on, then, after a while only if i la'd to it, wanted to hear my voice. And now, he gets up and sings along!!!

lagrind just wanted to say thanks for reminder of water to offer, will try that tonight, been suggested before and I keep forgetting in the middle of the night! Do you offer in a bottle or beaker? he normally has water in a beaker or open cup.

good luck for all those with Children Who Won't Sleep Through.

Thinking of you as we brace ourselves for the night ahead

Pavlov, just wanted to say that you are definitely not alone, my DD sounds just like your DS. No napping, constant waking at night, demanding feeds and comfort. She is only 6.5 months but am feeling crippled with tiredness (have a 3 year old as well).
I have a aching fear that she will continue like this for some time.
I'm surviving at the moment but letting her sleep in my arms at night - not very nice for me as I only doze and it cripples my back - but while she falls asleep in my/my husbands arms she is wide awake and crying as soon as we try to place her in her sidecar cot.
I'm just rambling now and I feel utterly, utterly helpless. I don't want to stop BF her until a year so I don't feel I can offer water or get tough yet. Sigh.
If you have any pearls of wisdom I'm all ears!

Pavlov, I really do sympathise but why won't you try some form of controlled crying?

My DS was similar to yours and when he got to 10 months old I knew I had to sort it out as I was due to go back to work .

I did CC where I left him for 3 minutes crying, going in and patting his tummy and then out, back again after 3 and then repeated it and the next time picked him up.

I did this for 3 days and then increased it to 5 minutes, I can honestly say that after 5 days it was sorted and my son slept through all night long.

I did the same for his naps and he now sleeps like a dream.

Why not give it bash (not trying to tell you what to do but it might work).

gargula I am with you. I was there were you are too. I just don't know what I have done wrong this time. I tried so hard to learn from last time not to feed/set up patterns in the night, but he was up to recently really hungry at night. When he did take a bottle, he would drink 8oz at 11pm, 2am, 5am. But now he refuses the bottle, and seems less interested in milk generally, but guess he got used to waking so often? He is no longer hungry at night i think, as he eats a LOT in the day. It is all so different to DDs eating pattern, she had a healthy appetite but was bf pretty much 3-4 hourly from the off, with 2 hourly/cluster feeding when she had a growth spurt.

I don't know if it is harder now, or just feels it as we have two children now, not one. but i do remember DH leaving for work at 6:45am and dd and I still being asleep and him calling me at 7:45am when he nipped out for a quick ciggie and sometimes us still in bed! DS is awake at 6am or so nowadays, even when he sleeps well, and even then only after a good long suckle from 5am onwards.

i wish I had pearls of wisdom to offer, but alas only

tootles DH did this today, took him an hour but he did it. I am considering it. I have to really. Its breaking us down.

oh and I am back at work already! 5 days a week, start at 8am. luckily i am awake just

Same here.

Still bfding.

My friend has advised cc.

But I am too tired and fear it will make him more anxious and clingy. And I could not bear it getting worse!

Pavlov, do try it. It may upset you, it did me but the change in his sleep pattern was amazing and he changed from being grumpy in the evening because he was tired into a pleasant happy baby.

Fingers crossed for you. Let us know how it goes.

Pavlov I have the greatest respect for you being back at work and dealing with these sleep issues.
I did also have some "issues" with my DS's sleep and stupidly assumed that because I'd had one difficult sleeper I would automatically have an easy one next! How wrong I was.
My DH is blaming a lot of this on BF (DS was formula fed) and we've been trying to give DD some formula for her last feed.
She ain't having any of it!!

marsha yes yes we have a clingy boy here too. I am very bothered that part of his issue might be that he is alone. He is not so great on his own really. Not like Miss Independent DD. So if I do controlled crying he might be afraid of being on his own.

I am being too 'soft' aren't i?

gargula luckily I am only at work til 1pm, so I dose myself with coffee, smile, work on pure adrenaline and collapse when I get home!

Offering water worked for us in two nights.

Gargula, I'm still breastfeeding- cutting out night feeds doesn't mean stopping b-feeding so maybe water would work for you too.

i am way too soft. He is happy.

Happy because I am with him!

But the worst nights are where I am used as a dummy for comfort and to fall back to sleep.

The blinking duvet gets tangled round my feet (not near him obv). I feel so mad.

I get up in the morning and say it's lucky you are cute.

marsha snap! there are so many of 'me' here on this thread!

suffer together.

I fear it lasting past one year (10 months now). I'm not sure what to do about it but that might be my cross point.

waves just wanted to say hello and mark my place again on this thread.
DD woke at 830, 1, 430 and then up for the day at 5am last night. She used to co sleep with me but now she just won't settle at all in bed with me so that's us up then! Until 5 mins from drop off at nursery of course, and then it's out like a light from Little Miss.

I actually hallucinated that I saw something flash across the road driving to work today. Not good.

Am hoping for a better night and then tomorrow will absorb this thread properly. In the meantime DH and I are going to try CC from this Thursday. Gulp.

Happy thoughts to all...

Terrible night. Worst for a while! Why?

Agh. So everytime I do soft and fluffy withdrawal he bashes me the next night with serious sleep issues.

I am interested in your cc heylottie his I'll you do it?

Pavlov how are you doing?

omg, i posted. where is the post?!! I am hallucinating too!

the night went.

out at 8pm. quiet, no fuss. woke at 11pm. fussed and fussed and I decided to do controlled crying. Or, at least attempt it. Never. Ever. Again. It broke my heart so much. He got louder and louder and more and more and more upset. I did 1 min, 2 mins, 3 mins, 4 mins, then I gave up. Now yes, I am soft, but he was so upset he was almost sick and I could not bear it. So I gave in and fed him, and he went out like a light. then he woke at 2:15am and I fed him and he drank and drank and then he slept til 6:30am.

DH slept from 9pm til 6:45am. And still bloody moaned. I just have no idea what I am doing. DH is out. I have two awake children. DD is insisting on a lullaby or else she won't sleep. but not that one, or that one. DS is fussing as DD is fussing.

I Give Up.

Oh pavlov I know I know.

Ds goes spotty. His dear little face gets covered in stress spots, and the sound. It is too much. I cannot bear the sound. So I too give in and think what the hell was the point of that? Then he learns to be scared I wont be there and keeps checking. Great!

HeyLottie my last post was so autocorrected hope you get the gist.

I know it's hard but it does get easier. You just need to try and stay strong (easier when you've been through it and come through the other side).

tootlesmummy Right now. I feel completely, and utterly alone. And for the first time in a while, really quite tearful. And I felt tearful today. I got a slap on the wrists for not returning a staff pass yesterday. I had it in my pocket, and normally I would chuckle with the person telling me off, I am notorious for it, its a bit of a joke. And instead I sat at my desk feeling tearful at being reprimanded. It was nothing. Honestly absolutely nothing. And I wanted to cry.

And now I have to tidy the kitchen, hang some washing out, get stuff sorted for work tomorrow, try and get some kind of order in this shitpit of a house. The kids have just gone to sleep. And DS is still not finished feeding getting there enough that I can put him down.

Strength. I have None.