Why Wont He Sleep?! and other questions.

[PavlovtheWitchesCat]

I have several issues right this second:

1. he won't nap in the day.
2. he wakes every 2-3 hourly at night time
3. he wakes at around 5am and cries until he can suckle til 6:00-6:30am
4. he won't leave me alone. not for one second.
5. he appears to have a bit of a temper (while strangely being a very calm and chilled out baby when we let him wield the knife or fork - his obsession atm).

I am exhausted and suffocated. This evening, i have had him pawing at me quite aggressively with his little razor claws thinking it is a game a being too cute for words with it. I felt like crying and laughing all at the same time.

Can anyone help me to gain a little serenity, courage and wisdom please?

sorry also to those who have also had such shit nights. Sorry to be all memememe.

Pavlov, can't you leave kitchen for DH? you need to try and recharge your batteries. If I could come round and take a shift I would because I've been where you are just now. it's crap and you can't see an end to it.

Is there anyone who can take the kids for a couple of hours on saturday so you can sleep?

Oh Pavlov. I know how you are feeling. DS was like this. I used to feel physically sick from tiredness. I couldnt do CC. I did do the no-cry book. Nothing I tried made a difference- think in the end I just got used to surviving on no sleep. My best part of the day was a huge gin in a hot bath when he had gone to bed, I used to live for that!

The best thing I did was start to put him to sleep in our spare room with double bed, and after starting off with DP moved in with DS every night when he first woke (was every 2-3 then 3-4hrs). Got some time with DP- and then whenever ds woke I just shoved boob in and hardly knew I had been up.

It got a LOT better around 2yrs. Now he is 3 and sleeps brilliantly. Keep strong and good luck tonight.

tootles DH looks after both the kids in the day, while DD is on half term at least. So, while he tries to stay on top of it, with a boy who sleeps little he struggles. He does his best.

DD is going to a halloween party at the weekend with her godparents, will be gone all afternoon. But no-one to take DS. And, to be honest, i spend enough time at work and away from him and don't want to be apart from him. Also, as much as that, I cannot sleep in the day, i mean, I can, and I will, but it takes over an hour to get to sleep, then I wake with that horrid groggy day time sleep headache. I don't want to waste my days sleeping. I want to sleep at night.

I just cannot bear the place as it is right now. Tomorrow DH will struggle as normal, the kids will be fine but the house will go to pot. If I leave it, it will just mean I have to do it at the weekend.

I am just being Sorry for myself. DS is asleep now, so I am going to go and put some music on, at least it means I get some me time rather than straight to sleep. I probably need that as much as sleep. The world and his dog gets a peice of me, but not me.

I think what I mean about not sleeping in the day is, I will sleep to catch up, but i am desperate for some kind of routine/order to my life, it feels like I am lurching from day to day, with no structure apart from work.

Pavlov, not much help but sending hugs.

Have you tried pushing in buggy? (probably I expect) My DP used to push DS for ages to get him off then ease him very gently into the house... was only way DS would nap, apart from bf.

Pavlov, god, I wish I could help. I struggled with one. I cant imagine how you are coping so well with two.

glitter thanks, but not entirely convinced I am coping, more surviving .

The buggy. Problem is we live in a converted apartment, so the buggy sits at the bottom of our stairs, we are up one flight. Not really a problem as it is secure, inside our apartment, but it means when he wakes up, he sees the stairs, not us! DH has found that if he gets him at the right time/right wind direction/the gods shining on the right part of the house/full moon/blue moon, after a drive, he can put him in front of Baby TV and if he wakes, he at least does not cry, and sometimes goes back to sleep. If he wakes and does not see us, other than that, he screams, and by the time we get to him, hes wide awake (day time obviously).

I do remember going out in the car at 2am with DD, driving around the dark country roads of Devon lunatic. So my rose tinted glasses regarding DD are playing tricks on me, but I am certain she was younger than this. But then again, DH was convinced she had her first tooth at 3 months (it was 7 months and 3 days).

I have not so much cleaned the kitchen, rather, emptied the bins, stacked up the dirty washing up (can't bear the thought of emptying the dishwasher, then re-stacking it so its pretty full, only to have to empty it again in the morning ), cleared the floor (my recent bugbear), swept it, hung some washing up, put dirty washing from bathroom into the washbin (DH!), hung some washing up and got clothes ready for work, oh and cleared the hallway of crap clothes mainly. The place feels less cluttered now. even though it was mainly a transferring of shite exercise! So now, I am going to get an hour before DS wakes.

Thanks for the continued support ladies. As always, MN pulls through when I need a few shoulders.

Serenity, Courage, Wisdom? maybe tomorrow.

Night all, sweet dreams for as long as possible x

Oh Pavlov, I didn't come back the other day after reading your answer to the CC question.

I hope things improve for you soon.

We cracked last weekend with DD2 (7 months). We've done some gentle CC and touch wood she is responding well. 3 night in and she didn't cry for more than 30 seconds tonight.

Oh hello!

I'm in a similar position to you lot (esp pompotty). DS2 (13 months) woke up almost hourly from about 1am last night. It's been gradually getting worse and worse.

I've kind of brought it on myself as I've intentionally co-slept since he was born and have happily offered my milk to help soothe him. BUT I thought he'd just naturally f=grow out of it. Har de har har.

DH is all for CC tonight

I'm half tempted....I know it would work eventually, but DS2 is unbelievably loud and persistent, and I will also miss some of the snuggliness.

I'd be happy to feed him maybe once in the night, but not this constant bobbing on and off and restlessness.

Thighs what did the gentle cc involve?

Spawn I feel the same as you. I can handle real feeds.

Pavlov hope you are having a nice rest tonight.

I'm joining in! Ds is 10 months and now seems to feed just like a newborn. I really don't think that I got longer than an hours slepp at a time last night and frequently it was less.

He co-sleeps once he wakes up but he moves around the bed sooo much it's really annoying and he latches on no matter where he's lying often really pulling my nipples. He can't be feeling ver rested either.

I had wanted to wait until he was 1 to do sleep training but I am not sure that I can wait.

Marsha,

I just made sure she had a nice bath, lovely long cuddle and feed. (Plus she was freaking exhausted). I talked to her and kept my hand on her chest for a couple of minutes and then I left the room. (Very dim night light) Gave her a lovely teddy to cuddle. Went outside, drank wine for 3 mins and back in! I went in every 3 ish mins and she was out at 20. So we are on day 4 and last night was out under 30 seconds. The night wakings are slowly going too. I do the same in the night but to be honest she doesn't scream her lungs out in the night, she just moans abit. I can't believe this time last week I was co-sleeping and up all night from 11pm with her in and out of my bed etc etc. This morning she slept in (in her own cot) until 6.30pm. (She did cry out a bit from 4 but resettled quite quickly. )

I hope you all get some rest soon. I feel like a cloud is ever so slowly lifting. (Although I know teeth must be just around the corner and so we'll be back to square one soon....)

Thighs, that's what I did but at the beginning because he was screaming so much I did the leave him for 3 mins, go in pat his tummy, out and then in again after 3 mins pat, out in again in 3 and out, when I went in the next time I picked him up for just a minute. This worked well as he knew he wasn't abandoned.

It does get easier, and at the end I was able to out him down awake and he would coo to himself until he went to sleep.

Thanks Thighs. That sounds really great.

Last night was even worse! So dh took him at 3am and I left the room (I felt a bit explosive). He got louder and louder and even more distressed. It feels like he gets even further away from sleep which seems so counterproductive.

Bloody hopeless really!

I HAVE to do something. Pavlov how are you doing?

marsha I know what you mean about it being counterproductive, that they wake up even more.

I now realise - DS does not want DH at night. At All. He screams the absolute place down and calms when he sees me. Not ideal, as it means only me at night.

We have introduced a cuddly, as DD bought a little soft cute penguin today for him and he has taken to it and won't put it down! He fell asleep this evening in my arms holding it, having bashed me with it gently while feeding! I would love to do the 'gentle cc' but he does not grimble when left, he stands in his cot, bouncing up and down like an angry imp, screaming and screaming with anger, back to what marsha said, nowhere near sleep. There is no gentle backing off and allowing him to realise we will go back. There is nothing like that, not one little incey bit of it He is Furious.

Anyway, last night. Slept from I don't know? 9pm? it was later than normal after i jinxed it saying going to sleep was fine. He slept til 1:30pm, DH tried to settle him, faiing miserably, so i took over and settled him with boob, took 15 mins, then he was awake but in my arms and settled and slept there. Slept til 5:50am, then dozed in bed with us til DD woke us all up at 6:30am.

So, better, but because of the boob. But, not awake for hours and hours, or waking a million times. But I know, just know that now that is out loud, it will all go to shit tonight.

Also, I am off work on annual leave tomorrow, so i will be having a glass of port this evening, which means he will wake a million times between now and bed time just to stop me chilling out.

However, I bought him a pair of these fab trousers with braces on, you know the 1920's style ones? or german ones as my friend said [!) and he looks so so cute in them!

Ah Pavlov you are making me feel less alone in my nightmare of sleep deprivation thanks. The mention of the little German braces made me .

My head is a blur so I go into the night with very shoddy plans and end up doing whatever it takes.

I'm not sure whether to just do the boob and get some sleep or tackle it with cuddles and walking. I might do the latter tonight

I hope you have a really lovely day off work tomorrow. You deserve a rest. (soothing noises)

rest? ha i wish. I nearly killed myself tripping over some toy or other in DDs sess pit of a bedroom, so firstly, that has to be tackled in the morning. Then I promised her I would take her ice skating as it is half term (she is 4, neither of us can skate, it shall be fun!), then DH has arranged for some friends to come over to ours for dinner.

Not sure when I will relax, but I also have monday off, DD is at school so I shall crawl back in to bed once we have done the school photo thingy at ridiculous o'clock in the morning!

We sound very similar me and you. I have big plans in the day of how it is going to pan out at night, what I will do, how strong I will be as it will only be for a few nights etc, and when it comes down to it, I wing it with whatever feels easiest at the time, and pray it will work right then.

I hope you have an ok night. Let's not get excited and say 'good' same for everyone else too, sleep well.

I am actually feeling stubborn. I know I need to sleep but am so fed up with no time for me, I am refusing.

these are what I bought but in brown not grey. He crawls out of his trousers as he is so fast so there is a point to them honestly! Plus, a furry bear type hat, mittens! (he is a bear cub - his nickname, so apt!)

They are very cute!

Well (and the sleep gods may hit me tonight for saying this) but I am getting somewhere.

This is it. I am no longer allowing any bf'ding (well being a dummy really) before 5am. He is still waking but what I do is the opposite of the pupd thingo. He can go back to sleep on me. If he messes around, arches back and cries I put him down next to me. He cries a bit (but not distressed, not angry crying) for a couple of seconds then I pick him up again.

After four or five times he understands that being on me asleep is better than crying next to me and falls back to sleep without any boob.

This is the slowest fluffiest withdrawal in the world. But as long as I go forwards not back I don't care how long it takes (within reason!).

So anyway.... I am going to be strict on this. This is it!

How was last night Pavlov?

Hellllooo my sleep deprived friends. A very quick note whilst DD has a nap (woohoo). Hope you are all ok today.

We started the cc on Weds night. Horrendo, both Weds and Thurs. Both times involved crying spells of 60 mins on and off before midnight. However, once she had that out of her system she then didnt wake again until 530/6 - so some progress maybe? Maybe.

Probably not though. Because today she has a streaming teething cold and is coughing like she 'has been down the mines' as my mother might say, so not sure tonight will be fun.

I wish you all well, and will report back from Jinx Central tomorrow, when my progress will have been negated I am sure...

ah well xxx

Hello ladies.

marsha good progress I shan't jinx it by saying a thing .

heylottie aw poor little one, hope its not this horrid flu going around. I wish you many many sleepy hours tonight.

My night - 11pm, awake and fussing. 1:30am, awake and fussing, 4:50am, awake, fussing, dozed off in bed with us, awake by 6am. I had a lie-in, of a fashion, and DD woke up at 7:30am! unheard of! if only DS had slept too!

His naps are a bit better, for the most part, DH is doing ok at getting him to sleep for hour or so, for last few days. Until today, when I am home all day on leave and the cub knows I am here and will not play ball. He only wants me and boob and screams til he gets it, which he did not, fought sleep, went asleep in the car, for 20 mins. But he is happy enough, and into absolutely everything today, like a wild child.

Both the kids WILL be in bed and asleep by 7pm tonight, there will be no discussion on this matter (apart from messy bedrooms which I have yet to sort out as threatened).

Wishing you all much luck. Sounds like you've got a good system Marsha. Keep it up!

The fog continues to lift here and by sheer luck DD2 is responding well. For the first time in 7 ish months this morning we were awake before the children and had a whole nights sleep. Simply unheard of.