7 weeks - too young to go into her own room?

[Ghostie]

I am in a chronic state of indecision about moving our dd into her own bedroom.

She is generally a good sleeper and only wakes for two feeds in the night (one if we're very lucky) and goes down without a fuss. But, she is a very noisy sleeper and is trying to find her thumb at the moment in a very loud way. She often wakes me up and then I get her up to feed her, thinking she is awake, when actually she could probably of slept a bit longer. If she does go into her own room, am I going to suddenly find we are up and down all night, it is so easy to just reach over into her cot at the moment?

It would be really nice to get our room back, but is she just a bit little to go it alone? I think I might also miss her just a bit!

The FSID guideline is this:

"The safest place for your baby to sleep is in a crib or cot in a room with you for the first six months"

I assume that's the guideline everyone has been referring to. You didn't follow it LITR.

Oh, and from the DOH material you provided LITR:

"Place your baby on the back to sleep, in a cot in a room with you"

Deliberately obtuse? I think you're being quite ridiculous that it's absolutely imperative to follow the 6 months part of the guideline whilst choosing to ignore that it also quite clearly says that they should be in a separate cot!

Nothing more obtuse than that!

Look, I'm not going to get into the ins and outs of co-sleeping, I've done it myself and have no real issue with it.

What I'm trying to point out, is that whilst your busy lecturing other people on what the guidelines are and why they should follow them it wouldn't do you any harm to acknowledge that you haven't actually followed that guideline yourself.

I read three in a bed when I was pregnant, I really bought into it but just couldn't face co-sleeping in case the worst happened.

So dd was in moses cot next to bed, and because it is dangerous to feed in bed in case you accidentally fall asleep, I would get up and take her to my "feeding station" (correct posture seat, water and cake)

Whenever I did this I was just so tired, and really fighting to stay awake. I cried all the time and could barely function. Then one night I dropped dd (just onto the sofa) and my heart stopped.

We have been co-sleeping ever since. We go to bed together at 9, we get up together at 7-8. She feeds when she wants at night - I have no idea how often. Daytime naps are either on me, or with me. I have not looked back - the random crying has stopped, and everyone including HV told me how much better I looked.

We are planning on sorting out dds room when she is about 2, but don't expect her to sleep there full time until she wants to.

I guess its all about your individual priorities, and risk analysis. There is no way I could have dd in a separate room - I'd be up checking her every 5 mins!

pommedeterre yup, baby comes and watches me poo - if I left her somewhere else she would cry (I can wee on my own if I am very very quick )

withorwithoutyou, it's not the fact that it's a guideline that means that it's a good idea to share a room with your child. It's the fact that it is associated with a lower risk of SIDS. The evidence on that is reasonably clear. However, the evidence on bedsharing is not so clear. There was a fairly big study (the SWISS study) done not so long ago where the conclusions were reported to say that co-sleeping was associated with higher risk of SIDS. I wanted to know more and asked the lead author who kindly wrote back to me that there is no evidence from the study that "bedsharing in the absence of alcohol, tobacco or drugs, in a bed (not a sofa) is hazardous".

It's hardly surprising that people are confused or choose to ignore guidelines considering how much contradictory advice there is out there.

Thanks for taking the time to post the links LITR

There were some really interesting statistics quoted on the sleep expert webchat thread we had a few weeks ago.

The risk of safe bedsharing is way lower than the risk of baby sleeping in a different room.

I do think that people should do their own research, and I don't think that every little guideline the FSID put out should be followed to the letter, but I personally would feel uneasy having a very young baby sleep in a separate room to me. However - each to their own! It's all about the risk compared to what is practical for your family. I just think that the different risks should be portrayed more accurately.

For example the poster above who fed sitting up in a chair, exhausted to the point of dropping her baby, because she had heard it was dangerous to bedshare. In this instance, it is in fact safer to bedshare. If you are able to sit up at night and feed without falling asleep and feel confident of this, then maybe it wouldn't be.

I am still very sceptical about the dummy research as well. I thought the outcome of that was actually that it doesn't matter if they have a dummy or not, but if they have one, don't take it away, because the rate of SIDS was higher on a night that a dummy-using baby had not had his/her usual dummy. That doesn't make them safer to me, that makes them more dangerous! And what age does it go up to, anyway? Are you supposed to insist they have a dummy up to 2 years, if they voluntarily give it up before this point? But either way, it was a very small effect compared to some other risks. In fact, breastfeeding and back sleeping are the two single biggest factors, even parental smoking is negated by breastfeeding, but they don't tend to push the breastfeeding message because of the issue that some mothers are unable to, and it would make people feel too guilty.

(BertieBotts here, btw. Haven't got round to changing back yet.)

If it is all about hearing breathing patterns (didn't know that!) then I am surprised there is noone marketing a CD of breathing noises to impressionable pregnant women.

I moved DD3 out at 10 weeks. We all slept much better from then on, as I didn't pick her up at the first moan, and she learnt to settle herself better.

Completely agree with you joanneg20. The advice to keep baby with you up to 6 months is not very practical for me. I actually like to stay up a bit later than my baby and have a bit of an evening. So even if she was sharing a room with us, that would be 3 or 4 hours on her own while I have my dinner, watch tv etc.

My babies have always gone to bed at 7 ish on their own until we go to bed at 12 ish after the first few weeks and had naps on their own in their bedroom - life has to go on and I need an evening to relax abd run our household. They all have had dummies from 8/9 weeks until 3 (though they were only used when falling asleep by that time really) and I used a breathing monitor and normal monitor until they went into a bed at about 21/2. ds1 went into his own room at 6m (alone) and ds2 in with his older brother at 5m (I don't see why this wouldn't have the same protective breathing pattern effects if that is really a protective effect). Ds1 sometimes co slept after the first few months and we put him in the middle of our (superking) bed with no pillow but kept the duvet for ourselves, lower down, him in a gro bag. It seemed insane to me to put him on my side as it is a high bed and I would constantly worry about him falling out. Ds2 never wanted to co-sleep. I anticipate doing the same type of things with upcoming ds3.

I am fully informed of all the statistics, research and guidelines - this is what works for us. I find the breathing monitor very reassuring. Clearly we cherry pick some of the advice (5/6 months same room, never sleep or feed on sofa, chairs) but not others (still used duvet, baby in middle). I am comfortable with this. We all sleep reasonably well and are pretty happy. Informed choice. Families are not all the same. I think you do what is right for you after reviewing the evidence and statistics.

Too young my arse. Do what you feel comfortable with. My older daughter was in her own room at 10 weeks, as soon as she was through the night, and my little one (now 12 weeks) was in her own room at 3 weeks, because like yours, she is a very noisy sleeper! I also find that she immediately slept better in her own room. Another bonus is that hubby was not disturbed when she woke up - no point in you both being knackered.