7 weeks - too young to go into her own room?

[Ghostie]

I am in a chronic state of indecision about moving our dd into her own bedroom.

She is generally a good sleeper and only wakes for two feeds in the night (one if we're very lucky) and goes down without a fuss. But, she is a very noisy sleeper and is trying to find her thumb at the moment in a very loud way. She often wakes me up and then I get her up to feed her, thinking she is awake, when actually she could probably of slept a bit longer. If she does go into her own room, am I going to suddenly find we are up and down all night, it is so easy to just reach over into her cot at the moment?

It would be really nice to get our room back, but is she just a bit little to go it alone? I think I might also miss her just a bit!

So if you co-sleep in a bed, do you follow the guidelines of a child under 2yrs not having a pillow or a duvet?

Still a bit confused. Is it dangerous because they fall asleep in poor position or always dangerous? Is it of equal risk in other countries where co-sleeping is more common?

Ds and dh often intentionally settle down for a nap together in the day on the sofa ds lying on top of dh, like a cottage loaf.

Where I live it's 2. I also wouldn't want to run the risk of not doing what I 'tended' to do one night and rolling onto the baby or pulling the duvet/blanket up too high in my sleep. When my dd was born my ds (then 2) 'tended' to be very gentle with her but I wouldn't leave them in a room together without being nearby because there is no 100% guarantee that what he 'tended' to do would be true 100% of the time.

He's nearly 6weeks and not keen at all on the moses basket/quiet of the night. He sleeps best stomach to stomach or alongside me. We have a lightweight duvet which goes on his legs or not at all. My other two were snuggly but not this much!

Starlight - yes I have read the research and I agree with Megonthemoon that it's not clear cut. As slhilly indicates, a lot of it is based on things which are related to sleeping in the same room, but are not actually sleeping in the same room - e.g. the risk of falling asleep whilst feeding baby in a chair or on a sofa. So, presumably, if you ensure you don't do that, there is one risk eliminated.

And as another poster on here has indicated, there is presumably a higher risk of injuring your baby if you are so exhausted from lack of sleep that you lose co-ordination.

Of course having a small baby makes you tired, but I slept so much better having moved my son into his own room. I'm not insisting there is no risk at all, but I'm saying that the 'separate room' factor on its own I don't believe is enough of a risk in isolation to worry me based on what I've read. Not at all the same as alcohol/cigarettes when pregnant. Those risks are very easy to isolate and explain and I understand them.

I would also be interested to hear any London/central city-based mother explain why she thinks sleeping in a different room from her baby is an unacceptable risk but getting in a car with a baby (by no means essential in London and actually properly dangerous) is an acceptable one.

DD went in own room at 10 weeks, no problems at all. She was sleeping through by then, no night waking at all. She's now 6 months old, goes to bed fine and we all get a good night's sleep. We have a monitor next to our bed so we can hear her, although she's only in the next room.

7 weeks is quite young, I'd give it another couple of weeks and see how you feel. I did miss her when she first went in!

I don't see where you got defensive from. I'm not saying that people shouldn't co-sleep with their child. I'm just saying that everything you do with your child runs a potential risk and that you need to weigh up those risks for yourself and do what works best for you and what you are comfortable with. I had my ds in England and when the health visitor came round at 10 days I told her he slept on his front and she said to do what felt right to me as only I knew my baby. When I had my dd in France they told me to put her on her front. I combined bottle and breast with my ds (I had to due to collapsing and nearly dying when he was 2 days old) but many people told me I would confuse him and ruin any chances of setting up a feeding routine. Never happened. My dd wouldn't take a bottle so I breast fed for 7 months. I don't think either of my children had the advantage. I just did what was best for us at the time.

Dinah -- I suggest your DH does exactly what he's doing now, but in the middle of the bed instead. That way, if your DS slipped gently off, there's no chance of getting his head obstructed in the join of the sofa.

Joanneg --

1. Re your suggestion for "just" ensuring you don't fall asleep while feeding your baby in the night. That's easier said than done...

2. You appear to have misunderstood what I was saying if you think I was suggesting that the protective factors related to SIDS and where the baby sleeps are not to do with actually sleeping in the same room. The baby cannot hear your breathe and cannot breathe in your CO2 unless they're in the room with you.

3. I've not looked up the stats about how many babies die each year in car accidents (and I'm not sure it's particularly related to city dwelling, either, given that rural inhabitants have higher rates of car ownership and use), so I don't know how it compares to room-sharing. But that's the comparison you'd need to do.

My point about city dwelling was just that if you live in a city you don't usually need to drive in a way that you do in more rural areas, so why take any extra risk with your baby by putting it in a car? (Of course I don't actually think that, was just trying to demonstrate where this 'no risk' thinking gets you.)

Also - people whose babies share their rooms until 6 months - what do they do if their baby goes to bed at 7, and they are then up for the evening until they go to bed at, say, 11? Why is it okay to take the risk of cot death for these 4 hours?

I'm honestly not saying that there is no risk here, I'm just trying to demonstrate how many grey areas there are.

i havent read all through this thread but we moved DS into his own room at 6 weeks old, he slept through that weekend and has done ever since. he was much much happier in his own room

i dont believe that moving them before 6 months increases cot death - without being harsh cot death happens whether they are in their own room or your room - DH and i are heavy sleepers so we wouldnt have spotted different breathing patterns anyway.

sorry but all of you saying 'wayyy too young' are being a tad over the top methinks

Really? In that case I apologise, sorry. But most people I know who have babies sleeping in their rooms still put their babies to bed at 7, and then go to bed themselves later in the evening. If you are all going to bed at 7 when your babies do, then I take it back!

Both DCs made so much noise, snuffling and farting and wotnot, that we spent all night listening to them. Totally wired

Like the OP we often mistook a rustle for a waking-for-a-feed

So we shoved the moses basket in the bathroom and slept with the doors ajar

DD was a couple of weeks old. DS was 5 wks

I still remember the amazing feeling of waking up that first morning after DS went into the bathroom and the sun coming in around our bedroom curtain... he'd done 11-7 for the first time. Marvellous

I put my dd1 into own room from about 9 weeks (when she started to sleep through), cot wouldn't fit in our room, grew out of Moses basket v quickly. I mentioned it to HV and she suggested that I reverse the baby monitors so the baby could hear our breathing.

Still trying to convince dd2 to sleep in her own room (she's nearly 3!!!)

Am pregnant now but dh works shifts stopping at 1am, 3am etc so not sure what to do when this one comes along.

I always had babies in the moses basket in the livingroom until bedtime (or more usually cluster feeding for hours on end until bedtime :)) Then take them up with me when I go to bed.

I co-slept with my two, still am co-sleeping with Ds who is 16 months.
Putting a baby in a room on their own would go against all of my instincts, and I tend to trust my instincts where babies are concerned.

Having said that I'm sure if you feel it's right for you then thats the best way forward.

i dont think any of the guidelines we have for pregnancy/birth/child rearing are 'just for fun'

now scaremongering - yes!

i think you can not smoke, have babba in room till 6 months, lie them on their back etc etc and that child may still die of SIDS. Sorry but that is my view

My friend's cousin died of SIDS 20 years ago - that childs mum followed all of the above guidance even tho it wasnt as strict then - and to this day is blaming herself when in truth there was nothing else she could have done = and at the end of the day it wasnt her fault. It is a sad fact of life that cot death 'happens'