7 weeks - too young to go into her own room?

[Ghostie]

I am in a chronic state of indecision about moving our dd into her own bedroom.

She is generally a good sleeper and only wakes for two feeds in the night (one if we're very lucky) and goes down without a fuss. But, she is a very noisy sleeper and is trying to find her thumb at the moment in a very loud way. She often wakes me up and then I get her up to feed her, thinking she is awake, when actually she could probably of slept a bit longer. If she does go into her own room, am I going to suddenly find we are up and down all night, it is so easy to just reach over into her cot at the moment?

It would be really nice to get our room back, but is she just a bit little to go it alone? I think I might also miss her just a bit!

I moved my DD and DS into their own rooms at 5mo. I had a sister who died of cot death (in a pram in the middle of the day FWIW), and thought I would be really really paranoid - not letting them out of my room until they were 12mo, but as it turned out it just felt right at 5mo. However, I did have the monitor on full until they were well over 12mo, so that I could hear them breathing, and I still keep the bedroom doors open even now.

And re. not letting a small baby nap alone in the day, what are you meant to do if you have a crazy toddler? The idea of my DS napping in the same room where my DD was playing, is just laughable! She would never leave him alone long enough for him to sleep!

I agree...6 months at least. DS shared a room with me until he was 10 months and DD just over six months, she also napped wherever we were. far to young at 7 weeks...

10 days - would have been earlier if MIL had not been staying. I have a motion monitor, and it is on at all times as DD2 naps in cot. Only exception is when camping, and I then share a pod with her.

8 weeks becuase DS was too big for his moses basket and we couldn't fit a cot into our room. I felt terrible teh first night we did it, and had the monitor on full, but he slept really well. Besides, both bedroom doors were wide open and our house is so fucking tiny he may as well have been in teh same room.

He was still waking 2-3 times in teh night for a bf, but (even in the coldest winter in 21 years blah blah), shuffling next door and back didn't mean I lost that much sleep. I actually found it easier to feed him sitting in a chair than trying to pull pillows up behind me. I'm convinced it's why he's so good at going to bed now.

DD was in her cot and own room at 8 weeks as we moved house and decided to do it all at once. She slept much better like that and I got to sleep in the same bed as H and have a sex life again.

5 weeks. DS hated being swaddled and would thrash his arms around and hit the sides of his moses basket and wake himself up. Cotbed wouldn't fit in our room.

Doors were left open and we had a monitor, but after a few days the monitor just stayed downstairs.

We all slept ok and there was no bother moving him in on his own when he actually realised that he was being moved.

I tried moving DS out at eight weeks but it only lasted a few days as I really missed him, and I also kept falling asleep on the floor in his room after feeding him and then thinking "I'll just lie here a few minutes and check he settles back to sleep". In the end he was moved out at four and a half months. I find it difficult to believe that many five to six month year olds are kept in the same room as an adult for all naps and for the period between baby bedtime and adult bedtime, so most people are taking a considered risk. You are balancing the risk of cot death (terrible consequence, but statistically rare) against the risk of complete exhaustion for everyone (obviously not so terrible consequence, but very common and can make life very difficult). Good luck in making your decision!

DS was in his own room at 8 weeks (or more accurately I moved out of his room then). There was no room for even moses basket in our room and he didn't sleep much at night for the first 8 weeks unless it was on me, on futon mattress in his room.

(Still have no idea why DH didn't sleep on the futon mattress and I didn't have the king sized bed but I obviously was affected by sleep deprivation ).

He then was great sleeper by 10 weeks.

With DD we had new house and larger bedroom and she was in with us for longer. Much worse sleeper though.

Starlight - I do think it's up to medical professionals who make these recommendations (sometimes quite forcefully) to explain to women in more detail what the risks are. Mainly because, as many women on this thread have said, sleeping in a room with small baby is incredibly stressful, making them sleepless and exhausted. So it needs a better reason than just 'there's a risk'.

As I said before, the fact that more babies in their own rooms suffer cot death does not mean that one causes the other. If one does indeed cause the other, then why no explanation of how? If the risk is to do with not being able to hear every single noise from a baby, then a good monitor deals with this.

On the napping, I'm sorry but I don't know anyone know - if they are fortunate to have a six-week-old baby who naps happily in their cot/moses - spends that time sat beside the baby watching it breathe. They use that precious time to have a rest, a shower, whatever.

I just don't think it's healthy to think 'any risk is too big a risk for my baby'. It's the same mentality that leads most British women to spend 9 months avoiding blue cheese when the risk is absolutely tiny. And the reason for it is that pregnant women and new mothers are simply bossed around by medical professionals, rather than being given information and left to make their own sensible decisions.

sorry, should have said 'don't know anyone who'...

Your baby - your choice.

You know the risks, its up to you how you act on them.

There are loads of people who will tell you that they did it from day one, and nothing bad happend, there are loads of people who will also tell you that they never wear a seatbelt and they are still alive. Doesnt make it right though. Guidelines are there for a reason.

Both mine went into their own rooms at 6/7 weeks. It worked for us. I was never given any advice on where they should sleep (ds born in England and dd born in France)so I went with my gut. They both slept on their front as they slept for 6 hours that way instead of 2 on their backs. Me moving around at night or during the day never stopped them going into a deep sleep - I could hoover under the cot with my son sleeping in it and he wouldn't stir. No one knows what causes cot death so how can we say how to prevent it? Everyone should do what works best for them as a family without feeling judged or criticised.

Ah but it's the law to wear a seatbelt. Guidelines about sleeping, weaning etc. Don't get another stick out to beat mums with please.

IMO far too young. Baby has been in your tummy for nine months, then after seven week alone in a room! A baby needs to be next to it's Mother. Animals in the wild don't put their young far away from them. It goes against government recommendations as previously mentioned here. There is nothing more wonderful than waking up in the same room as your precious baby.

"There is nothing more wonderful than waking up in the same room as your precious baby."

Apart from waking up refreshed from a good sleep and feeling ready to have a fantastic day taking care of your baby without risking falling asleep while feeding it and causing death that way because you had such a disturbed nights sleep.

"Stress hormones are lower in mothers and babies who co-sleep, specifically the balance of the stress hormone cortisol, the control of which is essential for a baby's healthy growth."

Source-Wikipedia. Personally I sleep very well with my baby in the same room as me. I wouldn't be able to sleep if my baby was in a different room knowing about the higher risk of cot death.

I must tell my 4yr old who slept through at 7 weeks, hardly ever cried and who has only ever had one tantrun that he's got it all wrong. No one has ever asked every single mother when it comes to these surveys and research so you will never get a true result. Doing what works best for you and your family is the best way to have a heakthy happy child. If you're happy and relaxed your baby will be too.

joanneg20, there is a fair amount of information out there about why sharing a room with your baby is protective against SIDS.

Two important factors are:

1. The baby hears your breathing patterns (and if you co-sleep, inhales your CO2 as well). This is thought to help the baby's developing nervous system cope through the minor crises it faces when it stops managing the breathing reflex for a few seconds
2. If your baby is in a separate room, you'll almost certainly be feeding the baby while sitting in a chair. If you then doze off, your baby is really at some considerable risk, because SIDS is strongly associated with cosleeping in a chair or sofa.

I think you're also conflating correlation with causation yourself, when you say "sleeping in a room with small baby is incredibly stressful, making them sleepless and exhausted." Small babies make mothers (and often fathers) sleepless and exhausted. While many women find that sharing a room is a cause of exhaustion, many women find that sharing a room is one of the things they do to manage exhaustion -- less physical effort is required in the night, and many many women can sleep peacefully with the sound of their babies grunts'n'shuffles.

Older two went into own room at about 8 weeks as they were sleeping 6 hours at a stretch and had grown out of their moses basket. Was a bit twitchy about it though tbh, although we all slept well as a result.

Sleeping on their backs, not over-heating, not smoking I thought were the biggest factors in reducing cot-death? Have also read that baby hearing your breathing helps 'regulate' their breathing, although what the science is on this/how influential this is, I don't know.

Dc3, unlkike the other two, is co-sleeping which is lovely as it's reassuring but not good for my deep sleep. Am thinking of moving his cot bed through and taking one of the sides off and have him there for 3 or 4 months at least.

[http://fsid.org.uk/Document.Doc?id=42 Here] is the evidence that the guidelines are based upon. Personally on reading these it seems that the evidence on keeping baby in room for 6 months is not quite as clear cut as some of the the advice on breastfeeding, dummy use, smoking etc. But that is just my opinion having read the evidence. At least if you read this you can make an informed decision.

With first baby, he moved at 7 weeks due to chronic lack of sleep for us, but we were 'good' on all the other risk factors so we took that calculated risk, but did it in knowledge of the guidance. In retrospect if we had persevered another 2 weeks sleep would havebeen a lot easier as he was much less noisy by 9-10 weeks. Expecting DC2 imminently and knowing how DS was will probably persevere with sleeping in same room longer.

Can you explain why "SIDS is strongly associated with cosleeping in a chair or sofa." ?

Is co-sleeping in a bed as much a concern?

Thanks