Am I being Selfish?

[malachismum]

My 13 month old sleeps from 7pm to 7am and has a 2 hour nap from 10am to 12pm and thats it for the day which is fine. However for the last week or so he is waking at 8-830am!!! and doesnt want a morning nap, I finally get him to sleep at 11.30am after nearly an hour of him shouting (not crying). He will then sllep for 2 hours. I feel terrible because Im sure he would now rather have his nap in the afternoon but that would mean that we couldnt go out at all. Should I wake him earlier in the morning or just stay in all day so he cam have an afternoon nap?

Wake him up earlier so he still has a morning nap if that's what you'd rather.

Why can't you just go out earlier and be back in time for a nap? Or can't he sleep in his pushchair/carseat?

Why do you have to stay in all day so that he can have an afternoon nap? Is there any reason why you can't go out in the mornings?

I can go out in the morings yes and thats fine. But we tend to visit friends with their babies all his age and he has such fun with them, kissing and playing also I take him swimming which he loves and to the park to see the animals etc and all these things go on in the afternoon. I want to put him first and just worry that it might be me being a bit selfish, I love to catch up with other mums and would really miss it. It seems mad when lots of people would love their lo to sleep longer, my friends little girl is up at 5 every morniing yet Im considering waking my little boy earlier. He wont sleep in his push chair unfortunately esp now he walks, its a job getting him to stary in it at the best of times!

I know exactly what you mean. My ds has always had a morning nap which is great because all the mother and toddler groups are btw 1pmish and 3pmish. But just lately I thik he would sleep better after lunch so I have the same problem

What will you do compo? Will you wake your lo earlier? I dont really think that Malachi needs to sleep until 8.30 am so maybe wking him at 7.30 might be better but then I worry that its mean to wake him? If I had to work then I would have to wake him wouldnt I, I dont work but if I did then he wouldnt be a ble to sleep until 8.30. Argh Im so confused, I havent stopped feeling guilty since he was born!!! Maybe Ill see if this sleeping late is a phase, god knows he has enough of those!

Honestly - I'd wake him earlier so he can have a nap at 10.30 to 11am and then you have your afternoon free. You might even find that if you push his nap till later you'll struggle to get him down at 7pm.

Don't worry about being selfish! My ds3 would sleep till about 9am I think but he gets woken up by the rest of the house at 7ish (ds1 and ds2 are not quiet - they are 4 and 2) so he then naps again at 11ish which suits me fine as the afternoons are free for us all to go out.

If he's slept since 7pm and you wake him at 7am he's had 12 hours sleep so he'll be fine!

I'll just play it by ear. My motto is and always has been 'never wake a sleeping baby'. Ds wakes at 6.50am anyway and i'm certainly not getting up earlier to wake him up!!!!

Thanks I think it would be best all round to wake hime ealier too. Its such a shame to miss out on all the fun he usually has in the afternoons. Yesterday he napped for 3 hours! I was out and Dp was in with him so can you imagine if it was an afternoon nap, it would be from 1-4 or somthing and he would never go to bed!!!! He is a happy little boy and in to everything, always kissing everone, usually with his tongue out which I think scares a lot of people, esp strangers, hehe. I must lose this guilt. I always know what to do but need reasurrance (sp) that Im doing it right and am not the worst mum in the world. Thank you.

1st baby right?

I remember thinking far too hard about everything at that stage too! Honestly, there will be no harm done - do it to save your sanity! You have to get out!

don't understand why all the stuff can't happen in the mornings ..

personally I've never been able to force a baby to sleep when it didn't want to during the day .. don't think its worth the effort and I like my lie-ins so would prefer an 8.30 morning to a 7am one any day

but if it bothers you do what gdg says

as for never going to bed .. mine have often had afternoon naps starting at 3pm (even 4pm a couple of times) and its never affected their sleep time

8pm for DS

6pm for DD

Hello again

The stuff cant be done in the mornings because they are swimming lessons and clubs etc, typical really. Every time he naps around 4 he never wants to sleep at night. When he goes down for his morning naps he isnt wide awake but just not as sleepy as normal, probably makes no sense. Dp has been off work due to an operation but went back today and Malachi woke when he got up at 7.30. Dp had been off for over a month and now hes getting up as normal it seems Malachi might be doing the same thing? Yep first baby, that obvious!!! hehe.

I know its mad but have you tried putting him to bed earlier say 20 mins and see if that works. ie if his normal bed time is 7 try 6.40. I put my ds down anytime between 6.30 and 7pm depending on how tired he is and it doesn't effect the wake up time. maybe then he will need just one shorter nap but a little earlier. I have read that it is completely normal for children to drop their morning nap at about 1 year so your ds is being a textbook child. good luck

Yup - you're agonising too much about this.Cut yourself a little slack

My approach has always been baby fits in with what we're doing. He tends to sleep in the car en route to places and I've never let his sleep (or his sister's before him) compromise where we are going to or what we are doing. He gets by perfectly well like this.

I have a friend who often says to me - I can't meet up until 4 because the children are still asleep (hers sleep between 1-3) and tbh it is maddeningly frustrating at times

The sleep patterns of your ds are going to change and at some point you're going to have to put up with a nap slightly later in the day. He's going to gradually be able to stay awake longer and need a nap later in the day rather than earlier. I personally would be overjoyed if my dd slept for 13 1/2 hours at night and then two hours during the day! Most babies at your ds's age sleep after lunch so he'll just be normal for his age then.

Something that works for me if we need to go out about mid-dayish is to leave at 11ish; dd has sleep in the car. Then after our activity/visit is over, she naps in the car on the way home. She is almost 16 months and since about 11 months she's slept for up to two hours between 11am and 3pm (usually 12-2ish). The shorter naps in the car aren't as refreshing but they see her through.