Troll hunting, why it's not a good idea and why we deleted the Rarebird thread

[JustineMumsnet]

Hi all,
We've just deleted the Rarebird thread as it had deteriorated into a bunfighting trollhunt. As we've said in previous posts we do think it's better to work on the assumption that posters are telling the truth and after a lot of digging we have found nothing to suggest that Rarebird is anything other than genuine.

Of course you can never be sure of any poster's real identity but we think it's better to err on the side of being occasionally taken in than on the side of being sceptical of genuine posters. If you take a different view (and we do understand that some folk do) then quite simply it's best not to get involved in threads such as these and we'd rather you did that than post suspicions on the thread. Mumsnet will be a worse place if folks routinely assume that any unusual post is a troll making it up.

Of course anyone who has genuine concerns please do tell us - we'll always take a look.

Many thanks,
Justine

Ignoring all the waffle about trolls and none trolls and hydra trolls.......

I think it went on for so long because it had been reported but there was no response from MNHQ.

In this instance locking that thread would have worked so that any support could have been seen if the poster was genuine and any speculation was on a different thread entirely if the poster was not genuine.

Sometimes MNHQ take too long to step in and diffuse.

'But if people are being a bit over emotional and feeling like the victim, they certainly don't need to be victimised that little bit more.'

You see it as their being 'victimised' more, others see it as giving a straight opinion which may, in the long run, be more helpful than telling a person what he/she wants to hear.

People need to remember that this forum is very open and has a huge number of members.

As someone once stated, it's akin to painting your posts on a sandwich board and walking round Trafalgar Square on a sunny summer way at lunchtime.

You're going to get a range of responses.

expat, I agree with you and love mumsnet for the straighttalking no nonsense responses that you get.

But what happened yesterday was not that (and I don't mean SGB personally) it was a liar liar pants on fire, let's take the piss out of this thread. Something very different.

However, I have wasted far too much time on here already

Yes wannabe that's for sure, tehya re out there.

however that tends to be associated with a lot of things- low self worth, some kind of ongoing trauma (whether real or imagined). In that mix they also have up days and ideas presented on those days or support given can have quite major effects.

I'm not a natural victim (though I think sometimes my MN persona comes across like it) but I have had times of trauma and low self esteen where getting motivated to do anything has been hard; and sometimes the MN threads have given me ideas, whether used immediately or saved up, that have led to solutions. And seeing othjer people achieve things you thought weren't doable also ahs the same effect- I am sure without MN i'd never have truly thought I could have gone to do my degree, but others were managing it. Tales of people taking on tribunals have amde me think it is something people actually manage; all sorts of things.

You never quite know where the chink of light will fall or when, and a lot of that is going to be through referrals to agencies (just contact detials) that people might have not even known existed0 cahrities, homestart, whatever.

And now I ahve forgotten my point PMSL - as ever. Am sure it's in there somewhere

"But if people are being a bit over emotional and feeling like the victim, they certainly don't need to be victimised that little bit more." The problem though is that if only nice "there there, you're obviously having a bad time, here have some more hugs" posters go on to those types of threads then it just increases the need for the victim to continue to be the victim...

Sometimes people need straight-talking.

Fruitstick I would agree.

It went too far down the playground route.

A few 'get over him, he's a knobhead anyway' comments would ahve been fair; I might have at a 'Stop whinging and get down that SCBU to see your baby' but there's value in it.

Liar comments? nah.

yes wannabe but I repeat my point, yesterday was not about straight talking - it was about ridicule, bullying and just sport really.

Straight talking is one thing. Being a seeping, foetid, rancid cunt is another.

That straight enough for you?

yes fruitstick but perhaps if rb had had some straight talking before it came to yesterday's thread then yesterday's thread would never have materialized.

There's also the fact that sometimes professional victims need to have it pointed out to them (and their supporters) that their behaviour is having a negative impact on other people, whether that's (unfairly) blaming someone else for all their problems to the extent of causing harm or whipping up campaigns against that person, or whether all the well-meaning support is allowing/encouraging the drama queen to take some sort of inappropriate vengeance.

"twat whose self-obsession and drama-queening shouldn't be pandered to"

funnily enough that's how I felt about a lot of the posters shouting troll yesterday.

But SGB someone narcissistic enough to be a professional victim is not going to be capable of taking that on board unless it's pointed out by a trained professional in a therapeutic context. Not by a pack of women whipped into the hysteria of anonymity + group.

I don't actually disagree with straight talking being a good thing. I'd not be on MN if I wanted fluffy and tightly moderated, and you often say things in a way that is very direct but extremely thought provoking, and that's fine. But on MN sometimes people take a dislike to a poster, justifiably or not, and then behave extremely nastily, and then try to pretend they are just being honest/doing it for the OP's good/it was all the OP's fault: she provoked it. It's bullshit. People are nasty because they want to be for their own reasons, it isn't okay, and it can't be justified.

I agree with SGB as well.

Some people on here are drama queens. I just avoid 'em.

I don't think anyone was being deliberately cruel yesterday - I think people just got caught up in a whirling dervish of madness and all encouraged each other. It was a strange thing to witness and be part of, to be honest, but I wouldn't want it to happen again.

Very, very strange.

"confuzeld you sound so pleasant "

That was the aim there, yes.

The Hydra-troll thing was a bit of silliness to describe the type of troll who introduces 'friends' to fight their corner. I was quite proud of naming this variety, but that was before it all got quite so ugly. It really did go rather too far, and I feel uncomfortable for my part in it. Whether the poster in question is genuine or not, once the online persona had been linked to a RL identity, I think it should have been pulled then and there. Some of the conspiracy theories being bandied about were really rather

Quite agree with Libra.

Even tehn SGB it can be done with huimanity.

'I relaise your having a hrd time but I honestly think your attitude is making it even worse. Maybe you need to find someone to talk to about how you re impacting on yout life through your attitude would be sensible' is far better

than

OOh liar. I don't belive you. Or my pesonal faves which were along the lines of nobody would leave their baby in SCBU ever... which were saying even if you re real you are not good enough; when in fact there's any number of reasons a Mum can need time away from SCBU- meds, own MH / break, SCBU request.... ds4 went in to SCBU for a day after his birth to check for suspected heart problems (thankfully all clear) and a great many of the babies who weren't likely to die imminently were unattended. I remember when my sister's son was in SCBU and NICU for moths on end the rbeaks away for a coffee, read,, visit, whatever were wehat kept them able to face the constant watching fear.

It palced a value rating on someone's chosen coping strategy and was imo very cruel.

confuzeld but that isn't straight-talking that's just being insulting.

It's possible to say to someone "look, you're not doing yourself any favours with this, you need to accept that it's over/that the man has moved on/you need to move on (dependent on the situation) without resorting to insults/namecalling.

Yep Wananbe: shame there wasn't more of that type of post TBH.

But wannaBe...that's too nice...telling a (possible) troll, to piss off and die is much more fun...which is the basis for 99% of troll hunting..."I think she's a troll so I can say whatever I like, I can be as horrible as I possible can, cos I don't believe her".....calling someone a troll gives troll hunters the red light to be as abusive as they can, it's so bad & so out of order.....the troll hunters (and their supporters) are extremely unpopular with the silent majority...hopefully they'll read this thread and take note....