Troll hunting, why it's not a good idea and why we deleted the Rarebird thread

[JustineMumsnet]

Hi all,
We've just deleted the Rarebird thread as it had deteriorated into a bunfighting trollhunt. As we've said in previous posts we do think it's better to work on the assumption that posters are telling the truth and after a lot of digging we have found nothing to suggest that Rarebird is anything other than genuine.

Of course you can never be sure of any poster's real identity but we think it's better to err on the side of being occasionally taken in than on the side of being sceptical of genuine posters. If you take a different view (and we do understand that some folk do) then quite simply it's best not to get involved in threads such as these and we'd rather you did that than post suspicions on the thread. Mumsnet will be a worse place if folks routinely assume that any unusual post is a troll making it up.

Of course anyone who has genuine concerns please do tell us - we'll always take a look.

Many thanks,
Justine

Weird, yes, intrusive, yes, and I wish I hadn't done it. I don't have the energy to keep explaining every time someone new comes in and goes "OMG, someone phoned the hospital? That's just vile". Out of context, and considering the tone of the thread, it does sound like a mental thing to do.

But at the time I thought a quick phonecall could clear things up quickly, and seemed less vicious than the 500 pages of gleeful finger-pointing and speculation that followed.

theyoungvisiter I posted the result because I thought it lent credibility to her story.

I'm trying so hard to leave this alone (maybe even back out of MN altogether for a while, but it's so hard when people keep misconstruing my intentions, lumping me in with the trollhunters. It's like being misquoted, and it's upsetting me a lot. It shouldn't, but it does. I don't like being misrepresented.

I'm sorry I did it. I will certainly never try to "help" again.

And I appreciate the posters who are backing me up. Thanks.

BusyMissIzzy - honestly, you sound lovely - but do please learn from it. There's no way you should've allowed yourself to cross this boundary.

BusyMiss you're new to teh site, the internet is weird and wonderful and MN extra so: stick about, change your name if you feel you must. Just remember that online help has to equal self protection too.

Yep, SanctiMA. Totally agree. What's the worst that can happen if people are given the benefit of the doubt? Any troll would get bored if their thread was answered with a completely straight bat, as it were, and any genuine posters won't have to put up with the advance of the flaming torches if their stories are unusual or a little raggy round the edges because they are confused/distressed.

But yes, I am leaving this alone now too as I have said me piece.

my personal view is that for every troll that is "outed" ten are not.

People are far too trusting of others they meet online, and far too quick to offer their time/money/help in other ways.

The internet is an escape for a lot of people. A platform where you can become whoever you want to be and where others will accept you for that person rather than the person you perhaps are in rl.

And I don't mean that all trolls are damaging in terms of extracting peoples' personal, deeply emotional experiences from them, but it would be all too easy to have a fab job/husband/house/life/couple of kids when actually you have none of those things.

I think sometimes these frenzies occur not just because people think the OP is a true troll ie that the story is a complete fabrication but (as I certainly thought in this case) the OP is a twat whose self-obsession and drama-queening shouldn't be pandered to. But rather than saying, look you have brought a lot of this on yourself, get a grip, people start trollhunting instead.
I've had a few dealings with people like this IRL over the years - everything's a fucking tradgedy, none of it's their fault and they milk every imagined slight for all they are worth.

BusyMissIzzy, on a thread that demonstrated a staggering lack of kindness in a lot of posters I've previously thought really well of, you have nothing to feel bad about. Honestly? Crossing the online/RL line should only ever be done by the invitation of both parties, but your genuinely good and kind intentions are actually rather soothing, contrasted with the sanctimonious bullshit and downright viciousness that was on display elsewhere.

I admit I had suspicions about this poster myself when her thread wasn't that old, so I shut it without comment and moved on. It isn't that flipping difficult. As it seems I was mistaken, I'm exceedingly relieved that was all I did. How can people justify acting as judge and jury of potentially very vulnerable people? It's just wrong.

such a lovely turn of phrase SGB - well done you. More hatred and scorn...........give it a rest why don't you?

SGB, maybe a forum supposedly offering support and understanding isn't the place for you after all

When support is offered, it is usually at least acknowledged, even if it is then rejected. In this case, there was no acknowledgement of any of the offers.

Donnie, you're a bit hard on SGB there: as I recall she gave pithy but still well-meant and potentially useful advice on the thread.

biwi there's no predicting how people react when experiencing extreme stress and emotional turmoil

FGS, leave SGB alone. the whole trollhunting thing is regretful, however every single poster on that thread had their own reasons for being there and what they posted. i know that i was trying to protect those who believed RB and stood to get hurt. there have been many kind hearted mners who have been very badly burned recently by vile trolls. we still don't know for certain what is real andf what isnt. lay off.

lol riven, practising?

I think Riven has got to the nub of the issue there.

I watched the threads and only commented with a fatuous jazz hands comment.
I shouldn't have done it but it was a good joke. And I can rarely resist the bizarre.

For what it is worth , whilst the re hashing of the original thread is dull I am finding the discussion of trolls, troll hunting and how MNers feel we should react, quite interesting.
But that may just be me.

I agree with SGB.

'SGB, maybe a forum supposedly offering support and understanding isn't the place for you after all'

The forum serves a different purpose for every user. Some use it just for selling, for example. Others use it as paid employment.

It is not for anyone to dictate how it is to be used and what its purpose is.

What some perceive has 'hatred and scorn', others perceive as straight-talking. For example, my perception of SGB is that she is not a hateful or intolerant person, quite the opposite, in fact.

but sgb has a point. The reality is that there are people who thrive on being victims. The sort of people who don't take advice and do something about it because then they can't feel sorry for themselves/provoke sympathy from others.

amen expat.

"paid employment" mmm now how can I get paid to be here?

join MNHQ
I have often thought that would be my dream job!

Have been following this since yesterday- didn't know what to think re: if rarebird is a troll or not, and I still have no idea.

But what I wanted to ask is: why on earth was she suspected to have been/pretending to be the lady linked to on the thread? It seemed like a huge leap to me. Granted I haven't read her other threads but I would be grateful if someone could let me know if there was a reason or if it was just overexcited troll hunting!

well quite - I'm not dictating how anyone uses this forum but I do feel that if you do genuinely feel that "but (as I certainly thought in this case) the OP is a twat whose self-obsession and drama-queening shouldn't be pandered to" that maybe you should just move along and find a thread that interests you more.

I couldn't give a flying fuck about finding 'the perfect wedge' but I certainly don't go on those threads and berate the people who do.

I'm sure I've had my drama queen moments and what generally happens is people don't care sufficiently to post, I get the message and pull myself together.

But if people are being a bit over emotional and feeling like the victim, they certainly don't need to be victimised that little bit more.

first name
job (a rare one)
DCs
caesarians
erm...a few other things i think