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MNHQ

Troll hunting, why it's not a good idea and why we deleted the Rarebird thread

217 replies

JustineMumsnet · 06/07/2010 18:02

Hi all,
We've just deleted the Rarebird thread as it had deteriorated into a bunfighting trollhunt. As we've said in previous posts we do think it's better to work on the assumption that posters are telling the truth and after a lot of digging we have found nothing to suggest that Rarebird is anything other than genuine.

Of course you can never be sure of any poster's real identity but we think it's better to err on the side of being occasionally taken in than on the side of being sceptical of genuine posters. If you take a different view (and we do understand that some folk do) then quite simply it's best not to get involved in threads such as these and we'd rather you did that than post suspicions on the thread. Mumsnet will be a worse place if folks routinely assume that any unusual post is a troll making it up.

Of course anyone who has genuine concerns please do tell us - we'll always take a look.

Many thanks,
Justine

OP posts:
alexisfaith · 06/07/2010 18:30

Good work MNHQ

IsGraceAvailable · 06/07/2010 18:32

Sad to say I agree, Kerry.

I have quit Mumsnet once before, though, due to this type of thing. When I came back, years later - last year - it seemed a lot more intelligent & empathetic (though I was accused of trolling on my third post!!)

It probably just a cyclical thing and/or whipped up by a few individuals. It'll probably go back to its (fairly) lovely self quite soon. I'm very sorry for the people who've been flamed & stalked in the middle of their distress.

Tbh, if any troll were persistent & inventive enough to post threads like the ones I'm thinking of, they have got problems and should be treated with gentleness ...

nickschick · 06/07/2010 18:38

I was accused of being a troll at xmas me?? nickschick herself and I was having a dreadful time to be called a troll was rotten .....only 'anyfucker' saved me {never thought id say that ]

ninah · 06/07/2010 18:43

glad the damned thing is gone and hope the spin offs go too

RamonaThePest · 06/07/2010 18:49

I was accused of trolling on a US site when I lived there at the time. Some of what I was saying may have sounded exagerrated - but it was all absolutely true, hurtful and vile though it was. Hard to imagine, hard to believe, doesn't always mean untrue.

I posted when I was feeling very vulnerable, and the accusation really hurt.

Have never accused anyone of being a troll. You just never know.

GypsyMoth · 06/07/2010 18:54

Yeah,yeah megan!!!

nickschick · 06/07/2010 19:03

who is megan?

ninah · 06/07/2010 19:04

megonthemoon

nickschick · 06/07/2010 19:07

sorry!!

lucykate · 06/07/2010 19:19

glad it's gone, it did turn rather nasty, but also glad i got to read bof's theory before it went poof

bibbitybobbityhat · 06/07/2010 19:24

I'm glad its gone too as far too many people were wasting care and concern on a fake. Honestly, there are some potential troll cases where you feel a little suspicious but post or ignore accordingly. And there are others where the exploitation of kindly souls who are becoming too involved and sharing too much becomes really intolerable to witness.

VuvuzelaPlenticlew · 06/07/2010 20:00

God, missed this one, can't say I'm sorry to have overlooked it.

grumpypants · 06/07/2010 20:03

but what concerns me is that someone will point out a perceived discrepancy in the story/thread and start biscuiting/ hmming, which sets off other people so the mood changes, and it seems the tide turns. The reason for the original query could be
a poster getting it wrong
the OP using short hand and not full facts
the OP trying to cover up her RL identity

but it can then lead to lots of piling in and finding things that don't add up, sometimes, because they don't correlate exactly to a poster's own unique experience of SCBU/SEN/whatever.

I posted when I first joined mumsnet (different name) about ds having a condition discovered in utero and received some lovely comments. I would hate now to ask for support on mumsnet and use my shorthand of having a 'funny hole at the bottom of his brain' (which is not the technical term, or really v accurate at all) and being pulled up for not matching. Just some thoughts.

misdee · 06/07/2010 20:18

imagine if peters story was being told now i would be a troll wouldnt i?

SagacityNell · 06/07/2010 20:19

No Misdee. You had only one "thing" to tell us.

misdee · 06/07/2010 20:22

but it was huge. and getting more and more unbeliveable. even now i cant belive we survived all that . i was pretty much full term, dh was being assessed for transplabnt etc etc. it was madness. dd3 spent tyime in SCBU, the flase alarms, the LVAD, ICd etc etc.

fruitstick · 06/07/2010 20:22

I agree this has all become most unpleasant. I admit, I read her threads and didn't believe that her story could be quite so traumatic as she made out. However I decided that, give my scepticism, it wasn't worth commenting on.

In terms of trolls, what is really so bad about it? Actually? If someone posts for support we should be happy to give it. If they didn't actually need it then we have all wasted some time but, in reality, is it any more wasted than giving advice to someone we have never met who we will never know. If they are a troll, all that happens is they get advice and comfort that they don't need. If the story is genuine then all to the good.

As for dragging up painful experiences for other people, that happens whether the case is real or not. Why is it worse if the OP is making it up?

Giving people the benefit of the doubt surely has to be the only way to be.

BessieBoots · 06/07/2010 20:41

Thank you Justine. There was a shockingly brutal reaction to that thread- I hope the OP is OK...

I reckon that all mners should remember MNHQs advice here... If you suspect trolling, report it and hide thread. Commenting is pointless.

TheLadyOfTheGreenKirtle · 06/07/2010 20:42

misdee, your story was totally different. i cant explain it but there was an air of total conviction to your posts. didnt even occur to me to doubt it. Im sure that people will have ed at a lot of my posts. couldnt care less, i know they are real and im the one who has to live through it the problem is, mn has been pretty badly burnt in the last year or so by trolls and it has changed our perception and made us less trusting.

if rarebird is reading this, i am one of the doubters and if you are real (and i hope that you are not, because what an awful situation to be in) I am sincerely sorry for adding to your pain.

SingingTunelessly · 06/07/2010 20:48

BuzyMissIzzy don't take it to heart - you were trying to help and got caught up in the frenzy of that thread.

scaredoflove · 06/07/2010 20:51

People are believed if their name is known, that is all it boils down to. If you are known, you can post anything - whether real or not

I don't see the problem if the story is a delicate one and is made up (though I don't think this one is) If you choose to share, only share what you can afford to, whether its been there anecdotes, a kind word or money. I have reported posts in the past but wouldn't dream of mentioning it on a thread. Have only reported where I think the op is about to be given money/gifts and the story is suspect. I think all troll hunting should be left to HQ

The problem with troll hunters is one person will do a hmm face, someone else will agree, then next person will say 'oh is this a troll' and then it's 'oh it's a proven troll' Always a bad case of chinese whispers

Today has left a bitter taste in my mouth with all this amateur Miss Marpling, nasty nasty behaviour

williewalshsballs · 06/07/2010 20:54

Thanks for deleting them.
tbh I thought she was real and said as much on the initial thread. I feel a bit ashamed for not being more vocal in defending her, became a car crash watcher

The more I think about it, the more convinced I am it's real. My former boss was a high flying, successful mum/career woman. She was always frantically rushing about and this is just the sort of thing that would happen to her. I can just see her sitting in hospital with her lap top...I could tell you a story or 2 about mad things that happened to her which if I hadn't been there no way I would believe....so actually, yes, I can believe this story.

Wishing RB the best and I'm sorry that we were so ungracious and cruel.

fruitstick · 06/07/2010 20:56

but scaredof, we can't have it both ways. I always name change when I post about personal problems as I wouldn't want people thinking it might be me and linking back to other threads.

I also often change small details so friends won't recognise my situation (DS becomes DD etc, ages change etc).

But I'm still a genuine mnetter asking for help, not the bloody FBI.

Slambang · 06/07/2010 20:59

Thanks Justine.

The whole thing smacks of the Salem witch hunts. Someone sounds different from the 'norm', sounds distressed, the story sounds extreme ...let's burn her at the stake. Whether it's true or not can't people tell she's hurting and needs support?

Perhaps troll hunters could be sent a personal email reminding them of the policy when needed?

Why am I still on Mumsnet?

BecauseImWorthIt · 06/07/2010 21:00

I'm glad it was deleted as it was getting increasingly hysterical.

I posted on it, and then wished I hadn't.

Maybe these kind of threads should be deleted more promptly? I know they keep popping up, but perhaps MNHQ should be more prepared to delete them more quickly.

I'm still about the story, but don't think anything has been achieved today. If it's true, then I really feel for RareBird, as her story is horribly tragic.