Is is inappropriate to have thread titles talking about suicide?

[seeyounexttuesday]

There have been a few over my time on MN, and whilst I understand these people are quite clearly in a desperate situation, I do not think they are appropriate.

Feeling low/depressed etc no problem but active talk of thinking of suicide IMO is wrong.

Am I a minority?

I know i could press the hide button, but those are the threads where other vulnerable people may get too involved.

I am asking for this thread to now be deleted as it has caused such a storm. The OP was made in good faith.

Seeyou - I fully understand where you are coming from. However the consensus (sp?) here is that these threads should not be deleted. There's no need to namechange and withdraw, unless you feel you've said all you have to say on the subject.

I don't know how long you have been on Mumsnet, it could be way longer than me for all I know, but I would say this is a subject that has been debated many times and the outcome is always the same.

You are not the only one to have these concerns but you are in the minority and so I feel you just have to let it go.

I think it's inappropriate to have thread titles about turds or diahorrea when I come on MN in my lunchbreak, but I just HIDE the ones I don't want to see

"active talk of thinking of suicide IMO is wrong"
The biggest potential benefit of being able to talk to someone about your feelings - especially suicidal feelings - is that it may help you to put all your jumbled thoughts and feelings into some kind of order and possibly to realise that suicide is not the only option for you

If you are worried about people being taken advantage of then perhaps we should never have done things like the MN secret santa

bibboty - Thanks, I have asked for it to be pulled, so hopefully everyone can carry on as they were. Sorry to those whom I have offended.

This is a classic AIBU? Yes? thread.

I am [shocked] that the OP works in this profession, is it any wonder that desperate people are turning to internet strangers, when this is the attitude of a professional?

I'm with Seeker on this one

I hope the person who started the original thread ,does not see this one.She may now be worried about posting ,when at the moment she needs help.

who says the op is in the minority. Maybe there are others who feel this way but don't feel they can say so.

God, will you stop harrassing the op. She has apologised. She is not flouncing, she has asked for the thread to be deleted because it has caused so much upset.

She has a valid point (which some people, myself included, fully understand) and is allowed to ask a reasonable question.

Enough already.

I have the solution. A thread for wannaBe and seeyounextetc called 'Have a Nice Cup of Tea and a Sit Down before Dwelling on your frankly Inappropriate Problems' - they can hide the rest. Sorted.

ROFL at Spero.

I don't think anyone was harassing the OP; she was being perfectly unreasonable, ignoring other people's opinions (so why post in the first place?), then, despite several people saying they have personal experience of suicide, she tried to pull rank by saying it's her job - what, and therefore that nullifies our opinions? . Outrageous. People are entitled to say that they think she's being out of order, and nobody's actually hurled insults at her, now, have they?

I think that a few of you have been unfair to the op. Hers is a reasonable view, whether or not you agree with it. She wasn't being callous about people in that situation, and she withdrew gently, didn't flounce. There really is a danger that these sorts of threads sometimes risk being profoundly harmful to the op. It isn't callous to acknowledge that.

I disagree, Deadworm. I am objecting to the way the OP expressed herself, not about her views. Other posters expressed agreement with her but in a much more reasonable view. The OP started a thread about what she clearly knew would be a contentious and traumatic subject, then flatly ignored people who wrote about their personal experience, and gave the impression that she didn't give a monkey's for anyone else's opinion because they're not professionals. Under the circumstances I think that's astonishingly rude.

FWIW if you look at the timing of my last 'flounce' post you'll see that it x-posted with the OP's apology.

'who says the op is in the minority. Maybe there are others who feel this way but don't feel they can say so.
'

which is the same as people who don't viote- they ahve signed away their opinion by default

(sorry Wannabe keppicking up on your posts LOL, oops)

Am not sure peopleare being mean to OP but if theya re thats not OK, but one has to accept the existence of other opinions

no one agree that suicide threads will be replaced by carefully worded ones?
also, what if an "I'm feeling down" thread becomes a suicide one halfway through?

I didnt even realise there was an ongoing thread about this.

Probably best if it gets pulled but before it does have you stopped to think of those left behind.

Imagine finding out your loved one has reached out for help and finding they have been ignored. How devastated would you be? On the other hand even if the thread did not have a positive outcome, I imagine it would bring some comfort (albeit a small one) to know your loved one has had someone to talk to in their darkest moments.

Agree with others that I know of i think one mumsnetter whose life was if not saved, certainly received a lot of appropriate help after such a thread.

A close relative of mine tried to jump under a train quite recently and I posted about it on here, the advice and help i received was utterly fantastic and made huge difference.

I really wish that my relative had found somewhere like this to talk online before the train incident. He really felt that he could not talk to anyone in real life. He didn't want people he was close to judging him etc. He really felt that feeling that low was a dirty little secret. He needed an anonymous lifeline somewhere in my opinion.
For people who feel like that, it is not always a case of "oh well, call the samaritans", sometimes even a phonecall is to personal.
It is not correct to state that people who talk about committing suicide don't do it. He spoke about it alot. He still tried (very hard) to do it. It was only a passing commuter that stopped him.

I'm glad the op has asked for this thread to go now. It's got an awful title and quite frankly it's coming at things from the wrong angle.

If you have an issue with someone posting that they feel suicidal then hide the mental health category.
I think this has nothing to do with what is right or wrong but everything to do with peoples discomfort when faced with the subject of suicide.

It isn't just about other people's discomfort about being confronted with suicide. It is also about genuine worries about how to help - or avoid harming - a suicidal or very depressed person. Sometimes the thread will be helpful; sometimes it will be dangerous, not just because of what responents might say, but also because the very business of posting about suicide online will sometimes be produced by the illness itself, and not by an attempt to deal with the illness. There is a danger, just sometimes, that starting the thread is almost like a form of self-harm in itself - something done by the op to display to herself her sense of hurt, or to make herself seem more real to herself when she feels profoundly 'unreal' because of illness.

I'm speaking under a namechange because these things are way too disturbing to bring up to poeple who know you. (I've never started a suicide thread myself, and would never mention suicidal feelings to any but a professional, precisely because of these sorts of concerns about the whole enterprise.)

I don't envy MNHQ their job in this respect. Extremely hard to come up with the right policy.

TBH, I understand people being all thoughtful about the current thread but the whole board has never stopped because one poster was going through a tough time before so why now? Presumably that thread is not in the same section as this?

Sometimes events spark a debate or a question, that is normal not something to keep under wraps! People do not stop posting birth announcments because someone posts about a MC and so on.

SYNT, sorry you feel got at but this is an emotive subject and people were bound to have strong feelings! (Although personal attacks are not really necessary, regardless of how strongly a person feels!) I do think it is one that merits discussion, people and opinions change so just going on "it has been discussed before" is not enough really.

Sorry post did not really make sense, no point praying now but you get my point. Hopefully.

TBF to SYNT she posted something helpful on the other thread about getting proper help and support so I think you are being a bit unreasonable Gibbon, even though I am sure it is a sore subject for you right now

Yes...sorry.

Feeling a bit weepy so was maybe a tad harsh.
Though I still don't agree with the 'not appropiate' sentiment.

Will bow out now.

I'm really sorry to hear that, Gibbon, that's awful. I'll be thinking of you.