Policywonk, in Hobbs and em and ess, LIVE FROM THE G20

[policywonk]

YOWZA

Arguing about housework is really dispiriting isn't it? It is so unimportant in the great scheme of things. BUT it is true that people function better in clean and tidy spaces. Life is so much more harmonious and creative without, not only the crud, but the self-loathng and the (wholly imagined) lack of respect from our friends and family.

Lenin - I quite like the feeling of being emotionally liable whilst pregnant; I felt that emotional super-sharp focus compensated for the pregbrain fug which I suffered to a shocking degree. Have not yet made a full recovery. Do you know if you are having a boy or a girl?

I like th idea of being emotionally liable -- an emotional liability perhaps? I wasn't really emotionally labile during preg, not more than usual, anyway. It has taken 13 years of motherhood to make me that. I get angry much too quickly now.

Agree with all you say about housework swedes. I still don't keep up with it well, but I'm having a spring binge on it now.

Lenin, interesting that the housework args persist in a same-sex relationship. So they aren't just gender disputes, of course.

Pregnant women don't really get angry, do they? They get upset and weepy and feel hopeless and vulnerable. It's as though they exist on a higher plane and see beauty and hidden suffering that the non pregnant sinmply can't see. Fuck it's tiring though.

Confident and invincible? Blimey.

LeninGrad - Can't you get a dishwasher?

DP and I have never argued about housework.

He has 'reasonable' running through him like a stick of rock. I think that's all it is.

I always think the saying from Mary Poppins in the nursery tidying scene is spot on when it comes to housework 'Well begun is half done'. It takes more energy thinking about it (with all its bad feeling) than it does actually doing it.

Is it really odd not to argue about housework? We really don't - never have. we save our arguments for really pointless things. And random - so I couldn't really tell you what we argue about at all...

It is impossible to compromise fairly on housework really isn't it. If you have one person with very high standards and one with almost no standards at all, a meet in the middle compromise is no compromise at all for the person with no standards but still incredibly difficult for the person who sets the bar high.

I think you should all default to the person with the higher standards. As living in a clean and orderly house saves masses of time and makes life much nicer.

We seem to have pretty similar standards - maybe that helps. Not sure about your compromise, Swedes - it's nicer if you're a clean and orderly person (am wondering if that means you!), not so relevant if you're not.

My idea of bliss would be for DP to take all four children off for a few days so I could thoroughly spring clean the whole house, from top to bottom. DP has disgustingly low standards. He washes up like a true toff, without hot water and without detergent.

Justabout -

LeninGrad It's a case of appreciating my DP's wonderfulness in almost everything other than cleaning and laundry. He is utterly fantastic with the children and spends much of his day for the common family good. It would be ridiculous of me to strop. It's about seeing your partner's good in all its glory and viewing the bad in its tiny and insignificant context. It's about respect really.

Swedes's DP is indeed the dogs' bollocks. I've seen him in action. Am very

Agree v. much with your last post Swedes - dh is also a hero, and just a kind, thoughtful and respectful person. Does make life very lovely, and makes me try to bite my tongue about very minor matters.