STILL need to talk mouldie?

[algyfromthepub]

ha! tell bob i'm here.

THIS IS A SHAKEDOWN I REPEAT A SHAKEDOWN

'we have had reports of all sorts of murkey (or mucky) (or mouldy even) goings on in here:

1. public indecency

2. illegal workers

3. use of illicit cleaning substances

4. bugging devices

Now if you want to remain part of this community you need to clean up your act or get out.

Riot vans and custody sargent are on standby, YOU HEAR ME

And get that pissy old git cleaned up and out of here, he's a health hazard.

Is that a truncheon in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?

Ah, Good Evening, Officer! How d'ye do?

oooh, justine i love it when you get all masterful / mistressful

YOU

Well well well i've been looking for an excuse to get this out all night

She's stung by the slack leadership remarks and she's Taking Charge. It's like bleedin' Franco's Spain round here!

Are you working undercover officer?

(Belting out) Radio Ga Ga Radio Goo Goo all I hear is them bloody moldies....

localbobby

we have cleaned up our act, you should have been here last year.....now, what can i get you, or can't you drink on duty...hahaha

You mean I've got to compete with even more truncheons in 'ere?

did they send you down here from that swank golf club officer....have they been moaning about us again?

localbooby. are you related to bobbingbob at all?

Stand aside Maggie ive heard about your dodgy food and the whereabouts of plasters.

We had reports for some time now, can I see your credentials please ukranianbarmaid?

AND WHILE WE AT IT - Who is looking after your children, its worse than i thought.

Gerry I am placing you under arrest for crimes against the regulars - you should have known better to go up to the golf club.

Onebatmother - whats your business in this pub? Hope that is not your kids still play area at this time of night.

or you could enter our freddie lookalikey contest...the winner gets to shag me...or golfinggerry, depending on your persuasions..

we're very pc here....hahahahaha

Gerry can vouch for my credentials Officer

Any more smartarse comments and you'll be out in the same cell as gerry. Now go and sit down and try to have a civil drink over some dominoes.

see, i knew it was you!

Ossifer! Believe Me! I never meant any harm! Can there not be some account taken of my White Collar status? My Lexus? My Middle Management Canteen vouchers?

And I was just about (following the advice of my dear lady wife - did I tell you about her Yum-Yum?), to ask if I could, once again, hang my personally-engraved tankard ("In Vino Veritas" ) behind the bar of Ye Olde Mums Nette, which I have come to realize is a friend in deed.

I'm no relation to that busybody fine upstanding officer of the law.

Who's serving behind the bar these days? A manly man such as my good self could die of thirst around 'ere.

pint of snakebite for bob darlin'