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If you (still) feel the need to discuss Moldies [part 2]

1008 replies

YetMoreTech · 31/12/2008 11:29

This thread is a continuation of this one. That one had become too big for its own boots the system to handle.

OP posts:
Tortington · 03/01/2009 02:08

but its nowt to do with mumsnet to be clear.

Tortington · 03/01/2009 02:08

or me

cornsilk · 03/01/2009 02:09

We've all heard about your goat fetish to be fair chipmonkey. If only MNHQ would start a fetish topic.

cornsilk · 03/01/2009 02:13

Night all - hope I don't dream about goats now.

chipmonkey · 03/01/2009 02:16

If you dream about goats, it says more about you than me!

FioFio · 03/01/2009 07:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

seeker · 03/01/2009 08:30

The problem I have is that I find myself thinking about particular posters that I've admired, and whose opinions I've valued and being completely astonished that they would be involved in this for more than the time it took to think "Hang on a minute, this way of finding new members completely stinks". And that applies to the poll, and the right of veto. If Onebat and MP could see that, why couldn't they all?

And even if they couldn't see that, why haven't all the "administrative oversights" been invited to join once the oversight was pointed out?

StealthPo09IsHere · 03/01/2009 08:39

Yep seeker
And this is not the same as CAT/MSN/email. If I want to CAT someone, I can. If I want to talk on Moldies...
This is the same as having a group conversation on MSN and deliberately not inviting someone, a situation I have been in and didn't like at the time.

welliemum · 03/01/2009 08:58

It's interesting to me that the "Oi! MSN - now" thing has been going on for years, quite openly, ie you could see posters leaving a thread to talk somewhere else.

I don't know what was discussed as I was never invited, and I can't say it bothered me tbh.

So what I'm wondering is what's the difference this time? Why is this threatening to tear MN apart, when people have been talking privately off board - and making no bones about it - for years?

Tiggiwinkle · 03/01/2009 09:04

welliemum-I am surprised you cannot see the difference.

Moldies is a whole different board and many people seem to have left MN entirely in order to post there. (Some are still posting here, but many are not). A bit different to popping off board for a quick chat.

BBBee · 03/01/2009 09:11

The thing that doesn't add up though - if you think about the people who are moldies and how they were on mumsnet - they are all on the whole nice. How can they have all undergone a personality change and have become these horrid people who have dicussed us all in detail and 'found us wanting'.

Knowing some of the personalities involved the 'it just evolved as was never meant to upset people' line fits much better than the 'we wanted a private place for the cream of mumsnet to post and you aren't on the list' line.

But then I am the naive one here aren't I.

StealthPo09IsHere · 03/01/2009 09:16

A private, one off, unplanned conversation between two people and a new board set up for the chosen to post?

morningpaper · 03/01/2009 09:16

I think there are several issues here but the Moldies just cannot win the argument because their position is untenable.

Yes it was FINE if it had been a "small group" of a few friends (which is what I said to Twiglett when I left) but reproducing the structure of Mumsnet, taking the "top 150 most popular" Mumsnetters across to the new board, and even setting up a "Tech" (WTF? That is like setting up a 'Justine'?) is just OFF. No, it's not illegal, but it's just NOT CRICKET. If you had desperate needs that MN weren't meeting, you could have requested that MN looked into changes such as off-board messaging or private topics. Not a brain-drain of the most experienced and prolific posters, which is effectively what it was.

You also can't expect people to take an apology seriously, when you are continuing to do the thing that is causing hurt that that you are apologising for. It's not really an apology, is it?

And you also can't say on the one hand "I need to stay on Moldies because that's where lots of my old, good friends are" while maintaining the position that Moldies shouldn't hurt anyone, because this is just about chatting on talk forums and not about proper relationships. Those two arguments are not logically compatible.

MN is much nicer if you stay OFF this thread btw. But I suspect this thread will run and run I'm afraid.

morningpaper · 03/01/2009 09:20

p.s. And by saying that, I am not having a go at anyone who is using the moldie forum. I am just saying that there is a logical inconsistency in the position, and it doesn't matter how many times you state your opinion, it isn't going to change that logical inconsistency, which is why people are going to find it frustrating, and keep posting and keep posting...

welliemum · 03/01/2009 09:21

Well, if people are leaving MN permanently that's their choice. There's no moral obligation for anyone to post on MN.

In exactly the same way, if people want to flit between MN and another board or MSN etc, that's their choice too. There's no moral obligation to be eternally faithful to any website.

I think it's time for me to leave this discussion. To me, the only serious issue here is that some people feel very hurt. However that's been fairly extensively discussed and it seems that nothing anyone can say further will repair that hurt; so I think ongoing discussion is only going to make things worse rather than better and I'm not keen to join in.

Flightattendant7 · 03/01/2009 09:23

Yes I think you're right MP.

Fio - what's it like over there?

Sorry about yr job btw.

Flightattendant7 · 03/01/2009 09:25

Welliemum - I think the 'call to MSN' thing was damn rude all along, this is I suppose an extension of it.

Not that I really know what MSN is. I have done it once briefly when someone told me how to join but deleted it long ago. Can you have like 3 way discussions on it then? I thought it was one to one.

Tiggiwinkle · 03/01/2009 09:34

I think morningpaper has the crux of the matter there. People are trying to justify the unjustifiable and that is what is making this thing run and run, because it is very hard to let go when things are not "right".

And I also agree with Seeker in that I am very surpised at some of the posters who have become members of the moldies board and all that seems to entail. It just does not fit with the image I had of them I suppose!

StealthPo09IsHere · 03/01/2009 09:36

yes FA, you can have group conversations

Flightattendant7 · 03/01/2009 09:37

Thanks stealth. I am a bit stupid about tecknollogy.

MP has grasped it by the balls as usual.

Dragonbrandybutter · 03/01/2009 09:43

This whole thing has made me feel uncomfortable and paranoid even though the subject has not affected me directly. The media attention has made me feel a bit vulnerable and now i'm not sure what to do.
I love mumsnet but i'm worried.
Help me stealth.

Dreyfus · 03/01/2009 09:43

Yep, MorningP put her finger on it there. And she and OBM have behaved and posted with integrity throughout.

Whatever they're putting in the water over There... MP and OBM must have taken their own drinks!

ABudafulSightWereHappyTonight · 03/01/2009 09:49

Aitch - thank you so much for being so clear about what actually went on/goes on. It is a lot clearer to me now.

I understand why some Moldies felt the need for somewhere else - Cod and MB for instance. And I am sad that that is the case and the reasons for that need are horrible for both of them.

I am sad that LL has gone because of the whole furore. Also sad that others have too. That is a real shame.

However I do feel a bit odd that there was some discussion of the Xmas meet up. I went along and met some lovely MNers. Came back on here and there was obv disucssion on MN as always and photos were on Facebook. All fine. To know that there was somewhere else that there was some discussions going on feels a bit weird. But I don't really know why as I suppose it is a bit like going to a party with friends and then meeting up with one or two afterwards and discussing the party etc. Which happens all the time in RL.

I do agree with those who would like MN to not be as Googleable though. No idea how we go about that though.

Flightattendant7 · 03/01/2009 09:51

I agree Buda - google makes me feel quite vulnerable really.

I can't quite get over the avatar thing.

Why is that?!!

Lulumama · 03/01/2009 09:57

the bit i just can't get past is being nominated and vetted without knowing about it and being judged by my peers on criteria i Knew nothing about.

if i feel bleargh about that, and i was accepted, how do people who were vetoed feel?

that is the stikcing point

i have no problem with mouldies as a group or individually but it makes my skin itch that i was judged without knowing about it

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