If you (still) feel the need to discuss Moldies, please do it here so folks can hide this if they want to.

[LittleDonkeyCarrieMaryMumsnet]

Well hopefully the title says it all. There's been a suggestion, and we agree, that as we did with Baby P and the Mc Canns we just have one thread where anyone who feels they still have anything to add on this subject can post and those who'd rather move on can hide it away.

It feels strange to put this thread in site stuff as we are definitely not wanting to encourage further discussion of Moldies (we have presents to wrap too you know ) but we weren't sure where else to put it.

We will delete any new Moldies threads that are started, so please feel free to report them in case we miss any (what with wrapping the presents and all...)

And if you do want to carry on the discussion please remember that Mumsnet's here to make everyone's lives easier and not the reverse, and that Christmas is a time of goodwill to all mumsnetters past, present and future

Thanks,
MNHQ

Great idea VVQ

ew ew ew ew ew

ouch.
Don't have allbran! Got a feeling that's not recommended at all, wrong sort, too rough, will give you more pain.

Hold on.

figs - that's it. Allbran can have the initial effect of making it harder to poo (can't remember why) but figs/prunes are quite immediate and will also soften the poos that are already formed.

Do you have any festive figs around?

If they're hanging out of your bum (stage three) and/or you can't push them back in (stage four) you need to go to the gp to get them banded at an outpatient clinic, which is v likely to get rid of them forever.

Thereafter, high-veg diet etc

I daren't ask...is there a stage five?

On second thoughts please go back to discussing moldies.

I suspect stage 5 is when you can knit with them.

Stage five is when you are taller seated than you are standing up...

When you have to pay a fare and a half on the bus.

bit bored VVV?

kiwi fruit. Honestly. eat two or three a day and your poo will turn to magic gold dust. I would patent them if i could. Had severe contsipation in both pregnancies and sorted me right out.

As much as you ever could be, watching the DC make things with glue, glitter and pipe cleaners, controlfreaky!

Tinker
And when the half buys its own ticket....

lol at this, sorry Rhubarb, I feel your pain.

A long time ago (we're talking 25 years), dh went to his gp with the grape issue. Gp told him to take trews etc down, lie on couch in foetal position. Without warning, gp lanced said grape with a scalpel.

Barbaric.

Apologies for barging but I've only just spotted the whole Mouldies furore. Blimey!

Now that's a PROPER barney I've missed, used to missing some of them, but that['s FAb. Didn't even see the Sunday papers. So nice to see names here that I know. I didn't know who'd gone and doubtless will miss some, but I just pray the spirit of Mumsnet will live on. In life new friends come as old friends go and I hope the same will be true here. This isn't a club for me at least and I don't have friends as such here but have logged on since 2005 and have always, always appreciatred the supprt and tried to offer it when I feel I can. I'd have never coped with sleepless nights, sicky baby, weaning, potty training, starting nursery etc etc without it. So from me at least, thanks for everything Mumsnet, and all Mumsnetters past and present.

Groan!

Wow in the current litigious culture that is so unthinkable!

Hopefully it won't put Rhubarb off if she does need to visit her GP.

I'm not letting any GP look at my arse thankyouverymuch! There was never any talk of banding them after I'd given birth!

I'm sure it'll just pop back in after a bit - won't it?

Dh said he had one in Australia, he thought he had bum cancer. He prayed and prayed for it to go and all at once it just popped back in! Can you imagine praying to God for your 'grape' to go away?

I know, I'll show it all the threads on Moldies and it's bound to go back into hiding!

That's a nice post bumbling

Rhubarb - I wouldn't usually downplay the power of prayer....but I think you need somebody medical to sort you out. Come on - be a brave a soldier and visit the GP before you have a whole fruit salad hanging out down there!

From one regular, but sporadic lurker to NorthernLurker, Thanks.

for rhubarb......a bit of muslin soaked in witch hazel and wrapped around a mini frozen ice pop and then popped in your knickers.......or an ice pop shoved inside a sanitary towel soaked in witch hazel.

best advice I got from the PN midwifes after my vbac.

I AM NOT SHOWING MY ARSE TO ANYONE!

C'mon now, surely they can go by themselves? Huh? Someone? Tell me they can!

Rhubarb, Germaloids worked really well on my swollen eyelids.
I have half a tube I'd happily send you but you'd have to take my word for it that it;s been no-where near my arse

I believe they may abate but not go all altogether. Seriously you'd rather shove an ice pop into your knickers than see a doctor?