Would you ban smacking? Take our two-question-takes-less-than-10-seconds poll (and be entered into this week's comp)

[carriemumsnet]

Tomorrow Parliament will debate whether to outlaw smacking completely. The current law allows parents (and some carers) to discipline children using "reasonable punishment" but outlaws punishment that leaves physical marks or causes mental harm. The last attempt to impose a full ban on smacking was defeated in 2004 .

We've put together a quick (and we mean quick) two question poll to see what Mumsnetters think about this and will hopefully be able to make your views known to the world first thing tomorrow.

For more info on the story click here

Everyone who takes part in the poll will be entered into this week's competitions to win one of 3 sets of Walker picture books worth £100 each, a week's luxury ski accommodation in France or one of 4 Fisher-Price doll and stroller sets. For more info on comp prizes click here

And just in case you need the poll link again it's here

Once you've done the poll please add your views on the subject here (as if mumsnetters need any encouragement to make their views known ).

Thanks

MNHQ

I would like to clarify for the benefit of anyone just skimming the thread, that the references to "Twinkle" making sweeping generalisations and cruel comments about people who have admitted to occasionally smacking their children are not referring to me, but to another poster called twinklelittlestar. Thank you.

I'd also like to make the following comment to those who think yanking the child away is a better response to a dangerous situation. There are many better responses than smacking, I agree, but yanking somebody is a much a battery in law as a light smack. How do you reconcile that one?

unfortunately can't read Swedish and any commentator on the research could be biased. IF the report was true it could suggest that children who were not smacked themselves lose control more readily. Perhaps other methods of discipline are not as effective in teaching anger management. It was interesting that the report claimed higher levels of child on child violence.

Interesting that no-one wants to be explicit about their own methods of discipline if they don't ever smack their child. Perhaps they don't have any or they are afraid they might be crticised as more inhumane.

As for teachers - I don't want a teacher afraid to restrain the brat assaulting my child because laying a finger on a child is an assault. That is what happens already and its mad.

Well exactly tatt - we already have teachers afraid to lay a hand on pupils for fear of being called paedophiles (something which children are very quick to exploit) - are we going to have parents scared to touch their child for fear of being sent to prison?

I think the reality is that some non physical forms of punishment can be just as traumatic - shutting a child in its room, for instance? If done at too young an age, or for too long, that can be as harmful, theoretically, as a smack.

We have to allow parents the freedom and rights to use punishments that suit the child and the family and do no harm. This is not something we should be legislating about.

Yes, I agree LittleDancing & Tatt.

Legislating about something about which there is no real evidence of what works seems like potentially a very bad idea.

I think one of the problems is a definition of terms. When 'studies' claim the damaging, ineffective, guilt-inducing nature of using smacking as a form of dicipline, are they talking about:

1. A mother, who has her back to her son while he is whinging on at her, suddenly turning round and slapping him across the face (as seen on 'Supernanny' a couple of weeks ago),

or

2. A mother, who hasn't lost her temper, giving her toddler a smack on the hand after warning him that that is what will happen if he continues in his course of action.

Because I can't believe that there isn't a world of difference between those two situations.

I think that it's just being politically correct to ban smacking, as if making legislation is an effective way of combating child abuse. Child abusers will abuse, regardless of what the law says. Those parents who try to instil discipline in their children will have a tool removed. Don't see any winners.

I have to give a big thumbs up to what dancingwiththedevil says; a family should be able to decide what is right for them, and this can vary hugely. My parents loved all of us desperately, and strove to give us every advantage possible. However, when we were naughty, we were taught that a punishment was the consequence, and were belted over the backside. That leaves marks all right, we couldn't sit down afterwards. I'm sure many would agree it couldn't ever be necessary to belt a child, and I won't be doing it to my children, but I respect my parents that they felt it was a way of instilling respect for authority, discipline and the understanding that wilful misbehaviour has consequences. None of my sibs feel in the slightest bit damaged by the experience, and I would hate to think that my parents could have been jailed for trying their best to make us well-behaved.

I think far worse for me was when my mother ignored me for a couple of months and refused to speak to me. I'd left home by then, but that hurt has stayed with me. Funny, isn't it?

I have wrote many posts on this thread and have read with interest all the views for and against the ban...

I am fiercley anti smacking and always have been. The thought of smacking my children makes me feel sick to the stomach and i hate to see it being done. When i see it i always think it's so humiliating for the child, and i feel sad that the parent has failed to control themselves.

After reading the posts i do accept that everyone has the right to parent how they see fit. Just as i would not like to be told i had to smack my child i see how those who use it as a form of discipline do not wish to turned into criminals.

Therefore, the thread has changed my opinion re the smacking ban.

I still however do not understand any type of rational for smacking a child, regardless of the situation... i do however accept, each to their own.

I'm with you barnsleybelle, am also sick at the thought of hitting my dcs.

By the way, we went away this summer with 2 families from school who have always been pro-smacking. They had two of the worst behaved, rough boys I have ever come across.

barnsleybelle that's really interesting to hear - it's not often that people have the courage to come on here and say that they've changed their opinion!

it's been a really interesting discussion from both sides of the debate, I think.

Littlemy dancing... I enjoy discussions that are level headed, thought provoking and not antagonistic... I have enjoyed the discussion with you.

I usually exit the thread once the name calling and swearing starts!!!

reading other ppl veiws on this subject i find really interesting

I am not against or for smacking..i sit on the fence on this one

When i was a child I was smacked in temper by my mother(all over the house), we were also never shown affection by her, it was only when I got older I realised why she did it(and I dont excuse her)
I believed my mother had PND and there was environmental factors which effected her such as tiredness, stress etc...PND was not recognised in them days as it is today...tbh my mother should of been locked up for the way she treated myself and my siblings anyhow thats in the past but my relationship with her is not a fantastic one

I have seldom smacked my children, i have smacked them in the past when i have got to the end of my tether...this has not happened for a few years now as my attitude is changing for the better

i think the law is fine as it stands now against smacking...it is specific in its detail about how far the smack should go.

barnsleybelle