'Sympathy' reaction used inappropriately?

[BillieWiper]

I'm not sure if I'm misinterpreting it or it's just not really a thing...

But has anyone had the 'sympathy' (flowers thing) reaction seemingly used in a sarcastic manner? Almost like 'I feel sorry for you for thinking this as you must be pathetic'?

It's difficult to describe it but it feels a bit like the misuse of the 'laughing' reaction all over again.

It's only happend a couple of times to me and again I'm happy to be proved paranoid! Just wondering if others have felt it ever used in this way?

Yeah I have but flowers are not as aggressive as someone laughing at you. Like in real life would you rather someone laugh in your face or hand you a bouquet? It’s easier to ignore IMO <awaits floral avalanche>

Oh for goodness sake.

I think it’s more likely to be fat thumbs. Or even just someone reading your comment differently from you. Something small in your comment that you didn’t even notice may have connected with them.

To be honest, even if it were being used in bad faith I don’t think it’s that awful. When someone sarcastically says ‘thoughts and prayers!’, about a trivial situation, it’s hardly seriously upsetting!

I thought that the flowers were to show support rather than sympathy. A subtle difference but maybe an important one? I usually use them if someone has had a horrible experience as a way of saying “I hear you”.

Oh FFS not this again. If people want to use it sarcastically then that’s fair isn’t it? Free speech. I want the laugh emoji back!!

I think reactions to a comment should be shown publically to everyone, the reaction and username beside it, because it has been used to bully and undermine in a passive aggressive way, they aren't using the system in good faith or the spirit whereas often when a poster replies rudely to a comment, other readers of the thread can jump in and see who is being unreasonable or a bully, in using the flower reaction it's a loophole for bullies because what can the person do? Whereas a comment can be reported, responded to and seen by others, the reaction is between the bully and the poster. Robust conversation is the foundation of the thread, secretive underhand bullying tactics spoil the experience here.

Goodness. Are we going to get complaints that the thumbs up looks like a raised middle finger? Or the 'thanks' looks like a slow hand clap?

they are to show support.

perhaps mumsnet can allow posters to disable the reactions if people are so sensitive to anything they might feel isn't done sincerely

Honestly, it's hard to remember we're all grown ups on this site.

No, nobody has 'misused' the sympathy reaction towards me but even if they had, it's just some bloody cartoon flowers and not something I could ever get arsed about.

This thread just highlights again that MNHQ should make reactions so that we can toggle them on or off if we don't want people to react to our posts.

That way we can have the laughing reaction back that so many people want.

I agree they should be made public. If you comment here you are accountable for the comment so the same should apply to reactions.

Me too!

I think they are useful and should stay but be visible to everyone for transparency so that the context and type of user is available for all to see and be aware of what is happening and who they are talking to, if they are the sarcastic rude kind might as well not bother engage with them.

Ok it looks like I might be imagining it. I'm not saying it's ever been upsetting or should be withdrawn. Just wondered if anyone had felt they way sometimes. Glad to hear I'm probably just being daft.

I thought flowers were a show of support.
Can there be a way of the emoji reactions turned off if a user wishes to do that? They cant give or receive an emoji reaction.
And give us back the laughing one!

Since when did a flower emoji mean sympathy?

Not much sympathy to be found on this thread.

for those who don'T know - when you want to use the "react" button, if you hover over the picture - in this case flowers - it says what it is for. Flowers = support

I am against the reactions being public, because that is also used as a stick to beat people with. (it was used at an employment tribunal, screenshots of "likes" on twitter posts)

It also leads to Like Farming with extreme opinions. Toggling them on or off in user preferences would be better (and then we could have the laugh reaction back)

What exactly requires sympathy here?

I haven’t seen it used as a snarky reaction to a comment, but I have seen it used in a snarky way on threads

eg alongside this phrase that is also often meant passive aggressively: hope this helps

A bit like how people use the biscuit emoji on here. So I don’t think it’s out of the realms of possibly that it’s being used that way, OP.

I thought they were for sending love or congratulations etc.

Well said, I couldn't agree more.

Me too
Or to say 'I get you' or 'I hear you' or to send a bit of love/support?
Never occurred to me that it might be used sarcastically

If you've described a genuinely sad or sensitive situation, flowers would be interpreted as genuine.

So surely you're describing a situation where you're not actually upset? Like, Ocado substituted the wrong flavour crisps...flowers would be jokey (not that I'd do it) because they don't perceive you to actually be vulnerable.

Does that make sense?! If it's sarcastic it's because it's not a sad situation. If it is a situation actually deserving of sympathy then flowers are likely to be meant genuinely?!

Please, go touch some grass.