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Original poster

From MNHQ - we need your comments....

139 replies

rachel(mumsnet) · 04/04/2008 14:18

Radio Newcastle have been in touch about a story in the local papers and we need your thoughts on the matter:

A three year old boy has been banned from nursery because of his hairstyle. His mum had taken him to a barber's for a tendy 'tramline' hair style. The nursery claims it has strict rules regarding dress code and he cannot come back until his hair has grown out.

The mother said that the the haircut was his idea - he saw someone in the barber's with a similar cut and was so excited she couldn't say no. Although he's only three, he likes to gel his hair before he goes out each morning.

"I didn't think for a second that a nursery would be so strict about
appearance.....The nursery is stopping the kids from having any individuality at all".

Should parents say 'no' when it comes to children expressing themselves through their dress and sense of style. Should nurseries have such a strict dress code?

Your thoughts on this would be v much appreciated
Cheers,
MNHQ

OP posts:

Original poster

rachel(mumsnet) · 04/04/2008 18:11

Thanks very much for all your comments - very useful and were voiced on Radio Newcastle a little earlier. I found out during the radio interview that the same 3 year old won't leave the house without aftershave on ...now there's another discussion!
Thanks again,
MNHQ

OP posts:

fryalot · 04/04/2008 18:18

aftershave?

fryalot · 04/04/2008 18:19

btw, Rachel - why don't you have a (FROM MNHQ) ?

NineUnlikelyTales · 04/04/2008 18:21

Wannabe I was in a lift last week with a toddler sporting hair gel. His mother was complaining that his hair felt all crusty even though she'd 'only put a bit in today'

JodieG1 · 04/04/2008 18:22

I don't think the parent should have said no, it wasn't a big deal and what's the harm in a little boy expressing himself? We aren't all clones andm qutie frankly, I wouldn't want my children to be all the same.

I think it's disgusting treatment from the nursery. Nurseries shouldn't have a dress code imo and I'd send my child to a better one if they were being so petty.

DJCod · 04/04/2008 18:24

nursery up own arse
mum is wise to tkae him out
tramlines shitaltho am alwasy supriosed at the number of "niace" kids wiht em

TheMadHouse · 04/04/2008 18:43

This is a state nursery attached to a state primary school I take it

Freckle · 04/04/2008 18:47

If the mother knew the nursery's dress code, etc., then she should have grown a backbone and said no. If she didn't, then I don't think she was necessarily out of order in agreeing to the haircut although personally I think she was nuts because having to gel a child's hair in amongst everything involved in getting out the door in the morning is something she'll live to regret .

wannaBe · 04/04/2008 18:50

won't leave the house without aftershave? wtf?

Actually, on reflection I wonder if the nursery have done this to try to bring the mother back down to the real world?

a 3 yo with an earring and hair gel and aftershave is not normal. So maybe, just maybe, the nursery have raised these issues with the mum, ie aftershave can't be all that good for skin/he's only 3 and really he should be thinking about playing with cars and trains rather than geling his hair/spraying on aftershave, and as the mother has not been open t these suggestions maybe they thought they'd take the hardline approach.

LynetteScavo · 04/04/2008 18:51

I'm very about rachel(mumsnet)

Obviouly nothing to do with MNHQ, IMO.

RubyRioja · 04/04/2008 18:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CountessDracula · 04/04/2008 18:52

what do you mean?

CountessDracula · 04/04/2008 18:53

(that was to lynette)

TheArmadillo · 04/04/2008 18:53

If the mother knew about the nursery rules re haircuts, then she shouldn't have had it done. If she signed up knowing those rules, then she should have stuck to them.

However the rules are frankly ludicrous when it comes to nurseries/preschools. How the hell is a haircut going to affect anything?

Absolutely pointless rules for rules sake.

I would avoid a nursery/preschool like this (if I had choice at time).

TBH why shouldn't the kid have a hairstyle he likes? If he liked it and she was happy with it what's the problem? SO many kids hate getting their hair cut at that age, she probably couldn't see why not.

If my ds wanted cut like that, I would let him.

LynetteScavo · 04/04/2008 18:55

Oh, ffs!! Gel isn't acceptalble to you lot on a 3 year old. Tram lines would never be seen on your children... After shave is not acceptable on a 3yo. The mother is 21...and I expect working class. She has probably dressed him in fak Burburry Everybody.........needs to get over them selves.

CantSleepWontSleep · 04/04/2008 18:56

If the nursery's policy on this was unmistakably clear, and communicated to the parents in advance of the hair being cut, then they are justified in excluding him. Otherwise they are not.

IMO.

robinpud · 04/04/2008 18:57

I think that both tramlines and the wearing of aftershave by three year olds should be banned in all state schools, together with pierced ears for the under fours and ridiculous shoes that give no support to the feet at all...that way my school wolud have no kids at all to teach and I could read a book in peace.

Kimi · 04/04/2008 18:58

DS2 went to nursery in red wellies shorts and a jumper one day while learning to dress himself, how ever I would have to say no way does a 3 year old get to gel his hair.
Mum should have said no to the hair cut explaining it was a grown up cut

misdee · 04/04/2008 18:59

not my choice of hairstyle on a child, gel is too much faff in the mornings, (thank goodness i have girls and just put their hair up), and i think maybe the nursery are right.

but i dont have all the facts.

eekamoose · 04/04/2008 19:08

Well, you pick your battles with a 3 year old don't you? If one of my children really wanted their hair done a certain way, I'd probably allow it.

Oth if they wanted to eat a whole easter egg or watch tv all day, or spend £20 on something they happened to like the look of whilst out shopping (as was my experience earlier in the week), the answer to all those would be a definite no.

Its only hair.

I haven't read the whole thread. When lo's parents applied for nursery were they told "your child will be turfed out if he has a non-conventional haircut"?

IorekByrnison · 04/04/2008 19:39

What a sordid business! I don't really know what a tramline haircut is, but unless it constitutes a fire hazard or something I don't understand why the nursery needed to get involved. What am I missing?

EachPeachPearMum · 04/04/2008 20:03

I'm more concerned about his name- Tavis

Is that pronounced like Travis or Davis?

Nbg · 04/04/2008 20:07

Its Ta-vis not tay-vis.

An old hairdresser of mine was called Tavis.

Think its a bit barmy.
But I can see both sides.

A haircut won't prevent him from learning nor will it make him into a badly behaved child but on the otherside it does look bloody awful.

BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 04/04/2008 20:09

Chavtastic....

southeastastra · 04/04/2008 20:16

that haircut would only last of 10 minutes before it grew out anyway. but agree with breevandercamp

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